Obviously past hurts and slightshave wounded you and you'd be right.almost 80% of white men in the states are racist, in fact they are so fucking racist, they are willing to fuck not just you, but everybody else including them selves, these are the people who support Trumpism. and the are your adversaries not necessarily your enemies, adversaries can be dealt with by skillful means, enemies must be thwarted or killed. Adversaries can change and evolve over time and experience, enemies cannot be and are treated in a different way.
The fist thing I used to look for in a student was a heart, no hope no heart, and you have one, I can assure you, and ya can call me anything ya want zeddd and I'll understand why or try to. The only thing I would take exception to though, was being told that I had a heart full of hate, for I try real hard not to hate any body, even if I say I do when playing the part or joking as I often do because I like to make people happy, give hope and lift spirits and there ain't much room in my heart for hate, cause that is filled with joy, and the more I help others, the more joyful I become and I won't mind explaining it to ya, if ya wanna read piss poor prose and bad grammar too. If a meditation teacher does not put his student before himself in all things, he is a pretty piss poor master and I would never sit at his knee, or advise anybody else too, cause the fucker doesn't have a clue as what the fuck the he is talking about and I'd tell em to their face, no bones about, read my posts.
I'd consider you to be my friend until you show me you have no heart, then I might just like ya.
Consider your response if yer gonna, and respond, don't react, there is a difference
One other thing zeddd, It's not what ya gain in a practice that counts, but what ya lose, yer baggage.