The hardest thing to do when stoned

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
RFLMAO!! TELL!
Well a friend invited me over to his place. We were going flying that evening. So I swung by his place and he says, "I've got to go see __________<insert chick's name here (I didn't bother to keep track)"

He said the words you NEVER EVER say to me, "Make yourself at home". I was roughly 19 and had a shitload of pot with me. So I did. I was angry because I'd wanted to get out of there early and get back. So now nothing was sacred in his house.

I was going to be good, really I was. I sat down and started smoking pot, like @Diabolical666 's bear. I got cotton mouth BAAAD (mexibrick), so I went into his kitchen and low and behold he had Tequila! Oh my Jose come to mama :D so I rounded up the lime and salt and sat down to 'quench my thirst'. In my defense at 19 I was not a seasoned tequila shooter.

So I drank all the tequila and the pot is hitting hard and I HAVE to eat! So I head over to this single man's kitchen. I open fridge and there is beer and nothing else but an old moldy jar of something and a SMITHFIELD HAM!!! (it had a lovely red bow on it too we were just past Xmas so JACKPOT). I pulled the ham and being quite drunk and very loaded decided knives were bad and anyway god gave me teeth for a reason. So I just tore off the wrapper and took it to the dining room table to eat. I ate and ate until I'd eaten a U in this very salty ham.

At which point I realized it was DESSERT time! So I started checking cupboards. They were empty. I am not to be dissuaded in my search for sweet so I climb up on his kitchen counters and finally in the back of one found a lone jar of Pancake Syrup.

I hustled back to my dining room chair and chugged the pancake syrup. As I was getting to the bottom of the bottle I just kept tipping the chair back further and further and finally the chair with me sitting in it tumbled to the linoleum. I felt the fall in slow motion. It was actually quicker than I thought because my long, red hair fanned out behind me. I felt the chair hit the floor and I sort of giggled as I bounced upward and back down again. The syrup bottle made this gorgeous arc in the air and I watched as it flew up and then back toward me I thought it was lovely and funny and I took a nap.

I was awakened several hours later to a boot nudging me in the ribs (this seems to be a repeating theme in my existence it happened on the Champs once too). I could not move. The end of the syrup had slowly leaked from the bottle into my fanned hair and I was stuck like a fly in flypaper on my back on the floor.

We still flew, and I was never allowed, unsupervised, in his house EVER again. Conversely he was never late to fly :) Win/win!
 

Alienwidow

Well-Known Member
When im stoned i cant sit still. I envy the couch stoners sometimes because as soon as a have one bong rip im off like a lightning bolt to do everything i can posssibly think of. Ive worked every day for almost two weeks straight and i cant lift my arms today im so sore. I just harvested a bunch of new strains and ive been smoking them and working my ass off. Today i not smoking so i can chill the fek out and rest my aching bones. Maybe ill eat some weed candies, thooose on the other hand chain my ass to the couch all day :lol:
 

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
You paint a wonderful picture...it was like I was there eating ham and syrup WITH you;)
I wish you had been, at that moment in time when I woke up I could have used someone to throw under the bus. I looked around at the wreck; all the cabinet's open, me laying on my back in the chair still, Van's sneaker prints all over the counter and a warm half ham on the table and what was there to say. Oh and I inadvertently left the fridge open. He didn't speak to me for a long ass time and my head hurt so bad I was good with that. The fail just kept on succeeding.
 

Singlemalt

Well-Known Member
Well a friend invited me over to his place. We were going flying that evening. So I swung by his place and he says, "I've got to go see __________<insert chick's name here (I didn't bother to keep track)"

He said the words you NEVER EVER say to me, "Make yourself at home". I was roughly 19 and had a shitload of pot with me. So I did. I was angry because I'd wanted to get out of there early and get back. So now nothing was sacred in his house.

I was going to be good, really I was. I sat down and started smoking pot, like @Diabolical666 's bear. I got cotton mouth BAAAD (mexibrick), so I went into his kitchen and low and behold he had Tequila! Oh my Jose come to mama :D so I rounded up the lime and salt and sat down to 'quench my thirst'. In my defense at 19 I was not a seasoned tequila shooter.

So I drank all the tequila and the pot is hitting hard and I HAVE to eat! So I head over to this single man's kitchen. I open fridge and there is beer and nothing else but an old moldy jar of something and a SMITHFIELD HAM!!! (it had a lovely red bow on it too we were just past Xmas so JACKPOT). I pulled the ham and being quite drunk and very loaded decided knives were bad and anyway god gave me teeth for a reason. So I just tore off the wrapper and took it to the dining room table to eat. I ate and ate until I'd eaten a U in this very salty ham.

At which point I realized it was DESSERT time! So I started checking cupboards. They were empty. I am not to be dissuaded in my search for sweet so I climb up on his kitchen counters and finally in the back of one found a lone jar of Pancake Syrup.

I hustled back to my dining room chair and chugged the pancake syrup. As I was getting to the bottom of the bottle I just kept tipping the chair back further and further and finally the chair with me sitting in it tumbled to the linoleum. I felt the fall in slow motion. It was actually quicker than I thought because my long, red hair fanned out behind me. I felt the chair hit the floor and I sort of giggled as I bounced upward and back down again. The syrup bottle made this gorgeous arc in the air and I watched as it flew up and then back toward me I thought it was lovely and funny and I took a nap.

I was awakened several hours later to a boot nudging me in the ribs (this seems to be a repeating theme in my existence it happened on the Champs once too). I could not move. The end of the syrup had slowly leaked from the bottle into my fanned hair and I was stuck like a fly in flypaper on my back on the floor.

We still flew, and I was never allowed, unsupervised, in his house EVER again. Conversely he was never late to fly :) Win/win!
Annie, I say this all respect, affection and goodwill; I got a boner reading that story
 

insidagain

Well-Known Member
For me, it's having dinner with straight laced in-laws and not smirking while listening to their anti mmj rants while 10 feet below them, my ladies are thriving.
 

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Okay, where shall I begin??? Who are you? Stephanie Plum? LOL
Fucking AWESOME story. @curious2garden We need to hang out. Sounds
like my life.

Well a friend invited me over to his place. We were going flying that evening.




so I went into his kitchen and low and behold he had Tequila! Oh my Jose come to mama :D so I rounded up the lime and salt and sat down to 'quench my thirst'. In my defense at 19 I was not a seasoned tequila shooter.




I pulled the ham and being quite drunk and very loaded decided knives were bad and anyway god gave me teeth for a reason. So I just tore off the wrapper and took it to the dining room table to eat. I ate and ate until I'd eaten a U in this very salty ham.
This made me almost pee my pants. (sorry I'm quite baked) just the visual



I hustled back to my dining room chair and chugged the pancake syrup. !





I was awakened several hours later to a boot nudging me in the ribs (this seems to be a repeating theme in my existence it happened on the Champs once too). I could not move. The end of the syrup had slowly leaked from the bottle into my fanned hair and I was stuck like a fly in flypaper on my back on the floor.











 
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Diabolical666

Well-Known Member
When im stoned i cant sit still. I envy the couch stoners sometimes because as soon as a have one bong rip im off like a lightning bolt to do everything i can posssibly think of. Ive worked every day for almost two weeks straight and i cant lift my arms today im so sore. I just harvested a bunch of new strains and ive been smoking them and working my ass off. Today i not smoking so i can chill the fek out and rest my aching bones. Maybe ill eat some weed candies, thooose on the other hand chain my ass to the couch all day :lol:
Im the same way on a dab....zoom, zoom, zoom. Its the only way i can be mobile plus energy!
 
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