Best Joke to Tell High?

A man walks into a bar.....

The next man ducks.

This black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says, Oh my god! He's beautiful, where did you get him?
The parrot says Africa...theres millions of them!!

This thread is pretty damn entertaining, like, stevie wonder vs helen keller in a tennis match entertaining.
I dont really have a joke, but let me leave you all with a couple of comic strips.
The second one cracks me up.)

OMG that 2nd one is a riot! LOL

Noone has really stepped over the line...I guess I'll go there.

How do you make an 8 year old cry twice?
You wipe your bloody cock on their teddy bear.

not my idea of funny, and i'd never do it, nor do i condone it, but here goes...
q.. what do you tell a chic w/ two black eyes??
a.. nothing, you already told her twice.

and another.. why didn't anyone hear helen keller fall off the cliff??
she had gloves on..

how did helen keller burn her hands?
trying to answer the waffle iron..

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama are flying in Airforce One for a weekend getaway in Camp David. After a rough patch of turbulence, the pilot announces over he intercom, "Presidents, the plane has been damaged and is going to crash. We need to parachute to safety, but there are only two parachutes left." The pilot then bails from the plane. Clinton hands Bush a pack and gives him a firm handshake. Bush thanks him, and jumps out of the plane. Clinton then hands Obama a parachute. Obama replies, "Maybe we should flip a coin to see who gets the last chute." Clinton responds, "No need to worry, George has my gym bag," as he pulls out the other parachute.

MrDank007 said:

Noone has really stepped over the line...I guess I'll go there.

How do you make an 8 year old cry twice?
You wipe your bloody cock on their teddy bear.

Click to expand...

His*

You cant go there unless you take it all the way man lol

A baby seal walks into a club.....

These ones are kind of bad, don't read them if you get offended. lol

Why do women have legs? So they dont leave slime trails like snails.
What do you call a puerto rican on a bike? Thief.
Why did god bless black people with such big dicks? Because he fucked up and put pubic hair on their heads.

I also have this little burn I do to people it goes something like:

"K, so if I have 3 black roosters, how many eyes do they have alltogether?" 6
"How many tails?" 3
"How many beaks?" 3
"How many legs?" 6
"How many feet?" 6
"How many wings?" 6
"How many hairs are on a white cat?" No clue.
"well how is it you know so much about black cocks and nothing about white pussy?"

When Mrs. Ghandi went to Moscow, Khrushchev took her for a tour of the city in his limo. Recalling his visit to India, He started giving her a hard time about the sanitary conditions there.
"When I was in Delhi, I saw human excrement lying everywhere."
Poor Mrs. Ghandi was terribly embarrassed, but only for a moment, because just ahead was a man sitting on his heels, shitting on the side of the road. She pointed this out.
Khrushchev was livid and didn't hesitate: "Driver, get out immediately and shoot that man!"
The driver got out, walked up to the man with his gun drawn, spoke briefly, and then returned to the car. "Sir, I can't shoot that man, he's the Indian ambassador."
No offense...its a joke......

same with this....


Why are there so many homes for battered women?
Because they just don't fucking listen!! [ I don't explain jokes, but I would like to point out on this one that I think it's funny because the man's attidude is so ludicrous. If you weren't aware that beating women was wrong, you would not find any humour in this joke...]


Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So you can tell them apart from feminists.

see now no offense to anyone once again,,its only a joke....

Q:how do you get a condom on an elephant?

hint: you take the "T" out of the, and the "F" out of way

the answer is in your answer
ask a friend if you havent figured out the answer

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. And the answer is yes!
i read this in a book btw

Crazy people take the Psychopath thru the forest

lol i don't have any jokes but Doug Benson does!
[video=youtube;zDW1seLdNVU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDW1seLdNVU[/video]

Downey said:

Q:how do you get a condom on an elephant?

hint: you take the "T" out of the, and the "F" out of way

the answer is in your answer
ask a friend if you havent figured out the answer

Click to expand...

Downey said:

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. And the answer is yes!
i read this in a book btw

Click to expand...

do I need to be high to get these jokes or something? 'cause I don't get it, lol

Two nuns are riding bicycles back to the convent. The first nun says "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies, "I know... its the cobblestones."

A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street when they passed by a little boy bent over tying his shoe. The Priest turned to the Rabbi and said "Lets fuck him!" The Rabbi looked at the Priest and said "Out of what?"

whaddya call a white baby with white wings? an angel. Whaddya call a black baby with black wings? a bat.