Get something like this and learn how to use it...then it will make things less stressful. Remember, don't scope the leaves...buds only.
http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Mini-60X-100X-Zoom-Lighted-Microscope-Jewelers-Loupe-Magnifying-Glass-/230829936639?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item35be894fff
Man...talk about feeling like a sitting duck. If your place has been compromised...leave! If you have no way of protecting yourself, how can you feel at ease? Fucked up situation. If you can legally own a gun shut down the grow and pick up a nice comfy AR...that's all the insurance you'll need...
Temp is important...I agree. At times it could be bad seeds or genetics but some methods are more effective. The in the cup of water for 24hr method can easily drown the seeds if they crack and you don't get to them in time. I like the paper towel sandwich method in a partially open tupperware...
Lumatek is a great product...anyone can have a bad experience. Some bulbs will burn out prematurely if not recommended for use in certain ballasts. If you want other good reliable ballasts...SOLIS TEK and Phantom...very low failure rate. As far as the light wattage...600watts covers a 4x4 area...
Sometimes you will get lucky depending on the strain...just assume you will have to place a clone or the plant under 12/12 to determine sex. You can also put a light tight bag over a branch for 12 hours a day until it shows sex...just gotta be diligent.
The cardboard box stuffed with clothing will help for sure. As far as the door goes...you can hang a carpet on it to help minimize sound penetration and vibration. You can also line the door frame with some felt padding so the door rests on the felt and not on the frame.
That is the best fan choice hands down...you need power to move the air volume required. It will make more noise then in line/booster fans as you are currently using but you have options to reduce this. One option is a fan speed controller...