Random Jibber Jabber Thread

Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Flaming Pie said:
We both love each other, but he is so stubborn. He isn't willing to accept my decisions or respect my opinions.

Hen my feelings are hurt he doesn't try to work on our communication.
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@Flaming Pie Had to respond: Girl, I've been there and learned this: You are a grown woman with her own child. Try not to let your dad get to you it's either:

a) He forgets you are a grown woman with child of her own and needs to butt out
b) He loves you and wants what's best, but being a guy, can't say that so he bosses you around to show he cares (classic dad of grown daughter move)
c) He wants you to avoid the same mistakes he made so he is critical about anything you say or do and your opinions are wrong too (another classic dad move)
d) All of the above

At any rate, Save yourself a decade of second guessing yourself like I did. I wish I knew then what I know now as my own are nearly grown. Your parents had their time to parent their child, (you) now that child is an adult and the key to parenting an adult is to guide, not boss. Be confident in how you're living your life. Take what your dad says and look at it objectively: Is there a grain of truth to what he's saying? If yes, maybe make some changes for the better, if no, let it roll of your back and move on, confident in the knowledge that you are your own person now.

HUGS TO YOU! (I so know what you are going through)
 
neosapien

neosapien

Well-Known Member
After 13 years I've decided I'm quitting my job at the end of the season. I think I'm going to try and find a job in a totally different field. And just do some sidework relevant to my current occupation to pad the wallet. I kinda just hate people nowadays. What's a job that you don't have to talk to people?
 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
Blue Wizard said:
I'm sick and haven't slept more than maybe 3 hours in the past two days. I show up to work and find out there was a ton of vandalism done during the weekend and the new guy did a bunch of stupid shit and broke some new equipment.

But I saved a birds life this morning, so it was worth it.
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I saved one yesterday! Deja vu
 
I

iamnobody

Well-Known Member
There's this quiet chick at work, that I'm tempted to start calling Ms. Mousy.

Seriously she just appears out of nowhere and squeaks when tries to talk to people.

I won't do that because she's nice and I think she'd take it as me being mean rather than as a term of endearment.


This new kid lucky to still have his job. Dude dropped a dime bag in front of the head manager... the one's pretty uptight.

Manager picks it up, ask "who's is this", and the new kid meekly raises his hand and says, "mine sir."

Manger gives it back, and says "Never bring this into my building again" and that was the end of it.
 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
Blue Wizard said:
If you find out, let me know. I'm just about ready to burn this whole town to the ground.
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I highly recommend neurosurgery. You can be pleasant to anyone for a few seconds before they go to sleep. Most of the office discussion is done by the staff and you just do your assessment and pass off handling to your coordinator. Best of all after the big surgeries they tend not to talk a lot.
 
Flaming Pie

Flaming Pie

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
@Flaming Pie Had to respond: Girl, I've been there and learned this: You are a grown woman with her own child. Try not to let your dad get to you it's either:

a) He forgets you are a grown woman with child of her own and needs to butt out
b) He loves you and wants what's best, but being a guy, can't say that so he bosses you around to show he cares (classic dad of grown daughter move)
c) He wants you to avoid the same mistakes he made so he is critical about anything you say or do and your opinions are wrong too (another classic dad move)
d) All of the above

At any rate, Save yourself a decade of second guessing yourself like I did. I wish I knew then what I know now as my own are nearly grown. Your parents had their time to parent their child, (you) now that child is an adult and the key to parenting an adult is to guide, not boss. Be confident in how you're living your life. Take what your dad says and look at it objectively: Is there a grain of truth to what he's saying? If yes, maybe make some changes for the better, if no, let it roll of your back and move on, confident in the knowledge that you are your own person now.

HUGS TO YOU! (I so know what you are going through)
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It was a combination of him being unaware he was hurting my feelings and him wanting the best for me.

We haven't had a close relationship since my teen years because we both hide our feelings and get loud/irrational when we get hurt. I also developed depression in my teens. I never knew how to express my feelings without swearing or yelling.

My dad said it was because he wasn't a good role model for expressing feelings.

My husband got mad at me for being sad about my father because it reminded him of his father. He blew up at me and told me to give up on my dad because nothing was going to change. He yelled at me and talked over me saying that nothing has changed and it will just hurt me more to try.

Upset, I drove right back to my parents crying. I told my dad I needed a hug and then I just broke down even more. I told him that ever since his heart attack I have realized how important he was to me and I wanted to have a good relationship with him. I wanted to laugh with him and have fun. I wanted to hear things he thought I was doing right and that he loved me more often. I also asked him to ask me for help on things he knows he is okay with me helping with. He is not someone who likes suggestions, so just tell me what you need help with and how you want it done so I can feel like I am useful and important because I want to help him.

He explained a few things about himself and I told him that I will keep them in mind. He said I could say "dad you're being kinda rude" or "dad you hurt my feelings" and he would do his best to make it right.

He held me the whole time we talked and my mom was crying, my brother was crying, my dad was tearing up.

I told him I always love him even when I am mad/upset. I apologized for a few things I said and didnt say. I asked him if he would turn me away if I was crying and he said never.

Then after we watched the end of Game of Thrones and he said that I was very brave for coming over and talking with him. I said I didn't want my husband to be right.

I never want to give up on my dad.
 
Unclebaldrick

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
Flaming Pie said:
It was a combination of him being unaware he was hurting my feelings and him wanting the best for me.

We haven't had a close relationship since my teen years because we both hide our feelings and get loud/irrational when we get hurt. I also developed depression in my teens. I never knew how to express my feelings without swearing or yelling.

My dad said it was because he wasn't a good role model for expressing feelings.

My husband got mad at me for being sad about my father because it reminded him of his father. He blew up at me and told me to give up on my dad because nothing was going to change. He yelled at me and talked over me saying that nothing has changed and it will just hurt me more to try.

Upset, I drove right back to my parents crying. I told my dad I needed a hug and then I just broke down even more. I told him that ever since his heart attack I have realized how important he was to me and I wanted to have a good relationship with him. I wanted to laugh with him and have fun. I wanted to hear things he thought I was doing right and that he loved me more often. I also asked him to ask me for help on things he knows he is okay with me helping with. He is not someone who likes suggestions, so just tell me what you need help with and how you want it done so I can feel like I am useful and important because I want to help him.

He explained a few things about himself and I told him that I will keep them in mind. He said I could say "dad you're being kinda rude" or "dad you hurt my feelings" and he would do his best to make it right.

He held me the whole time we talked and my mom was crying, my brother was crying, my dad was tearing up.

I told him I always love him even when I am mad/upset. I apologized for a few things I said and didnt say. I asked him if he would turn me away if I was crying and he said never.

Then after we watched the end of Game of Thrones and he said that I was very brave for coming over and talking with him. I said I didn't want my husband to be right.

I never want to give up on my dad.
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I hope that your husband settles down a bit and can put stuff into perspective. It sucks to be jacked around by your parents as a grown person but it is the way it is. Hope this breakthrough w your dad leads to a new and better relationship.
 
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