It's good to know where you strand, did you get the apprentice in your country? Are you sure something is not warping your perception of reality, like conditioned feelings? Strong emotions like fear and hate can cause us to severely filter reality and that starts with confirmation bias, but doesn't end there. What passes for thinking in the untrained mind is most often just rationalizations of conditioned feelings, we all are conditioned to feel that the world should be a certain way and of our rightful place in it. I mean making social war on innocent brown folks for shits and giggles to the point where a fellow cuts his own throat ain't normal.
You appear to have your perceptions altered or perhaps there are other reasons of a pathological nature.