Poll: Which is better- a beef fart or a beer fart?

Which are more satisfying and effective to those around you?

  • Beef, it's what's for dinner

    Votes: 2 22.2%

  • Beer- is there even a question

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • pinworm's farts are the most lethal

    Votes: 5 55.6%

  • moose farts

    Votes: 2 22.2%
  • Total voters
    9
Indagrow

Indagrow

Well-Known Member
Grapes and apples give me the most fulfilling air movements... But PBR by far the itchiest/scratchiest farts


Edit: didn't mean to dub post but I felt scratchy had to be added
 
tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
One time in HS we played a music gig for the Museum of Science and Industry. I ate a bunch of fake crab meat appetizers and we stole a bottle of peach schnapps from their bar. We found an unoccupied room, got fucking drunk, and proceeded to play Office Chair Bumper Cars (where we just slam into each other zooming around in office chairs). Someone knocked me off my chair and I let out this long, silent fart. It was the very worst thing any of us have ever smelled, and I realized that I could produce them continuously and at will. It was like discovering a super power. When we went back to play our set, I just kept letting them go and my fellow musicians were choking and gagging while fucking up their parts while I looked around, seemingly confused and concerned. The ride home was the best, my friends all had their heads out of the windows screaming and begging me to stop this sadistic onslaught. I laughed manically, and just kept letting them go. I swear I could fart every 20 seconds or so. They were hot, very long, and silent. I've never been able to recreate those digestive conditions, and over 20 years later those farts are still the stuff of legend. Good times...
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
tyler.durden said:
One time in HS we played a music gig for the Museum of Science and Industry. I ate a bunch of fake crab meat appetizers and we stole a bottle of peach schnapps from their bar. We found an unoccupied room, got fucking drunk, and proceeded to play Office Chair Bumper Cars (where we just slam into each other zooming around in office chairs). Someone knocked me off my chair and I let out this long, silent fart. It was the very worst thing any of us have ever smelled, and I realized that I could produce them continuously and at will. It was like discovering a super power. When we went back to play our set, I just kept letting them go and my fellow musicians were choking and gagging while fucking up their parts while I looked around, seemingly confused and concerned. The ride home was the best, my friends all had their heads out of the windows screaming and begging me to stop this sadistic onslaught. I laughed manically, and just kept letting them go. I swear I could fart every 20 seconds or so. They were hot, very long, and silent. I've never been able to recreate those digestive conditions, and over 20 years later those farts are still the stuff of legend. Good times...
Click to expand...
upload_2016-4-6_13-4-23.jpeg
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
I always liked giving someone the surgeon. As a kid when you sit behind the driver in the backseat. You fart into your cupped hand and then slam it onto the face of the driver in the front seat. Fuckin hilarious and more points if you get it over their eyes, mouth and nose all in one.

Oh, and beef fart. They tend to be thicker and heavier, more dense perhaps. I'm sure pada can give us the science behind it.
 
tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer said:
I always liked giving someone the surgeon. As a kid when you sit behind the driver in the backseat. You fart into your cupped hand and then slam it onto the face of the driver in the front seat. Fuckin hilarious and more points if you get it over their eyes, mouth and nose all in one.

Oh, and beef fart. They tend to be thicker and heavier, more dense perhaps. I'm sure pada can give us the science behind it.
Click to expand...
Love Michael and V-Sauce!


 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer said:
I always liked giving someone the surgeon. As a kid when you sit behind the driver in the backseat. You fart into your cupped hand and then slam it onto the face of the driver in the front seat. Fuckin hilarious and more points if you get it over their eyes, mouth and nose all in one.

Oh, and beef fart. They tend to be thicker and heavier, more dense perhaps. I'm sure pada can give us the science behind it.
Click to expand...
That's what I meant earlier when I said "throwing a fart" as very effective skill.

tyler.durden said:
One time in HS we played a music gig for the Museum of Science and Industry. I ate a bunch of fake crab meat appetizers and we stole a bottle of peach schnapps from their bar. We found an unoccupied room, got fucking drunk, and proceeded to play Office Chair Bumper Cars (where we just slam into each other zooming around in office chairs). Someone knocked me off my chair and I let out this long, silent fart. It was the very worst thing any of us have ever smelled, and I realized that I could produce them continuously and at will. It was like discovering a super power. When we went back to play our set, I just kept letting them go and my fellow musicians were choking and gagging while fucking up their parts while I looked around, seemingly confused and concerned. The ride home was the best, my friends all had their heads out of the windows screaming and begging me to stop this sadistic onslaught. I laughed manically, and just kept letting them go. I swear I could fart every 20 seconds or so. They were hot, very long, and silent. I've never been able to recreate those digestive conditions, and over 20 years later those farts are still the stuff of legend. Good times...
Click to expand...
RFLMAO. I would've locked the windows and turned up the heater....
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
That's what I meant earlier when I said "throwing a fart" as very effective skill.
Click to expand...
I knew what you meant but there's a diff between throwing one or cupping one and slamming one onto the face of an unsuspecting driver. With cupping/throwing the excitement level it creates is around a 6-7 and the danger is around a 1. The surgeon makes the excitement about an 8 and danger gets heightened to a good 6-7, or even higher if you're in a tunnel with oncoming traffic.
 
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