My Grandma Got Raided

beardo

beardo

Well-Known Member
ClaytonBigsby said:
I'm not a dick. I WAS making her pot cookies for her glaucoma and joint pain. She knew what was in them and she loved them. She's home now, so I've heard, so I'm going to go over and act appalled and see what I can do to help solve this thing.
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Glad to hear she's home. Good luck solving your problem, be sure she's careful around the house and doesn't leave rolling pins or marbles at the top of the stairs or shampoo all over the bathroom floor or anything like that, she's at the age where SHE COULD HAVE AN ACCIDENT.
 
ClaytonBigsby

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
beardo said:
Glad to hear she's home. Good luck solving your problem, be sure she's careful around the house and doesn't leave rolling pins or marbles at the top of the stairs or shampoo all over the bathroom floor or anything like that, she's at the age where SHE COULD HAVE AN ACCIDENT.
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Yeah, that would be horrible. I'll start practicing my surprised/horrified face now

 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
amnesiahaze15 said:
lmao.

Fucking old people make me sick. They should all be taking the rap for some one that is younger than them so only old people stay in jail. They complain about pain and the fact that they have no one to help them out is ridiculous. They should have thought about that when they were younger.
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You know I see a website in this for us! You wanna make some extra income? Here's what we'll do. We'll match up the indigent elderly who'll take the fall for all these young toughs. It works out all the way around, the oldsters get three hots and a cot, and all the sex you couldn't want and the young guys get to cause a little more mischief!

We could charge based on crimes. I've really been interested in finding more passive revenue streams and this is another wonderful money maker idea.
 
ClaytonBigsby

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
This is why I share. Some of you folks have some great ideas.

I did go over to see her. I swore it wasn;t me and she gave me stink eye for a long time, bt she's not 100% sure, so she can't get too mad at me. She IS f'in pissed about the dentures and thought it was the coppers on her own. I helped her back to the barn for a look and noticed a couple of middle school aged boys in a house nearby....... I suggested they might know something. I think I might go over later tonight and plant some trimming shears near their bike track. Maybe a bucket of paraphernalia. They look like assholes anyway, and I bet it was one of them that robbed her house last year anyway.
 
charface

charface

Well-Known Member
ClaytonBigsby said:
This is why I share. Some of you folks have some great ideas.

I did go over to see her. I swore it wasn;t me and she gave me stink eye for a long time, bt she's not 100% sure, so she can't get too mad at me. She IS f'in pissed about the dentures and thought it was the coppers on her own. I helped her back to the barn for a look and noticed a couple of middle school aged boys in a house nearby....... I suggested they might know something. I think I might go over later tonight and plant some trimming shears near their bike track. Maybe a bucket of paraphernalia. They look like assholes anyway, and I bet it was one of them that robbed her house last year anyway.
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If you need some root balls n whatnot let me know.
 
panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
First off when ya go visit Nanna in jail download a power of attorney form & tell her it's for her own good she signs it , this way everybody is in the clear when you empty her IRA account & cash her social security checks , dont forget to get any pin numbers for her checking/savings accounts while your there , this money should pay for the time you spend visiting her in the cooler .

Next thing is to open up a dozen or so new ( High $ Limit ) credit cards in grammies name , then ya go on a whirlwind tour of all the high end electronic shops & buy yourself a $500,000 state of the art Mcintosh hifi system , that should help take care of the PTSD your suffering from loss of plants , good music on a world class system allways makes ya feel better .

Next ya gotta work on financial reimbursement to make up for lost wages , contact Henry Winkler & have Fonzie set up a reverse mortgage on the old girls house & land , by the time she get's done doing her bit Gran gran will forget she even had a house & you get back all the cash she cost you over crying about a meager $800 a month increase in her Edison bill .

Me-maw is allready toast , you gotta look out for yourself now that she cant take care of you anymore , right ?
 
ClaytonBigsby

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
panhead said:
First off when ya go visit Nanna in jail download a power of attorney form & tell her it's for her own good she signs it , this way everybody is in the clear when you empty her IRA account & cash her social security checks , dont forget to get any pin numbers for her checking/savings accounts while your there , this money should pay for the time you spend visiting her in the cooler .

Next thing is to open up a dozen or so new ( High $ Limit ) credit cards in grammies name , then ya go on a whirlwind tour of all the high end electronic shops & buy yourself a $500,000 state of the art Mcintosh hifi system , that should help take care of the PTSD your suffering from loss of plants , good music on a world class system allways makes ya feel better .

Next ya gotta work on financial reimbursement to make up for lost wages , contact Henry Winkler & have Fonzie set up a reverse mortgage on the old girls house & land , by the time she get's done doing her bit Gran gran will forget she even had a house & you get back all the cash she cost you over crying about a meager $800 a month increase in her Edison bill .

Me-maw is allready toast , you gotta look out for yourself now that she cant take care of you anymore , right ?
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Damn. I almost feel guilty for not sharing some of this new found money with you. POA you say? That sounds fucking grand! Maybe I WILL make an anonymous call to let the police know it WAS her grow and they are being played. She does have an extensive record. Maybe I call a landscaping company out to clean up and ask the workers to go into the barn to get some round up for the driveway, only there's a guy porking a goat (I hired on CL for this purpose) in there and as the worker comes out looking all disgusted I take his picture. Mail that pic to 5.0 telling them he's one of the guys growing the shit and just found out it had been raided.

She did just get one of those motorized scooters. I'ma pimp that shit out with tassles and a cup holder for my whiskey sour. Boom box in the basket while I scoot on down to the bins to pop some tags.


GODDAMN!! How's a guy supposed to sleep tonight with all these sugarplums....
 
A

amnesiahaze15

Member
I just told off my grandfather because he is a scared ass bitch.

"Why don't you get some credit cards and some personal loans before you go so you can spend some money"? He says "ohh I cant do that if I cant pay it back. I don't have money" WTF! Who gives a flying fuck you cant pay! That's why u cant walk, cuz you don't take any chances! That's what I told him.
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Fuck this shit. This whole fucking story is bullshit.

We all know that your bitch gramma ain't no fool. She's been playin' your ass like kaizer fucking soze this whole damn time, son. You gotta get thinkin' man, and quick.

The only out I see is if you straight up 86 that old walking dead. E-lim-in-ate, son!

You could make it look like an accident... Like, hang her ass with her pants down or something- you know, auto erotic asphyxiation or some shit.

Maybe put some drano in her tea and once she's gonzo you smash her bifocals on the ground and put a similar looking jug beside it on the counter so it looks like the blind old cuntbag couldn't tell the difference between the two and slammed home some drano!

Anyway you cut it, she's gonna turn you in bro. She's gotta go. You or her.... Who's it gonna be?
 
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