Getting off dope

Impman said:

Mescaline can cure Heroin addiction. you need a trip guide to tke you where you need to be.

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I just might pull out a little bit of DMT and see if it wouldn't help me with some of the mental obstacle of kicking.

I've decided that if I was to cave in... even just once... I'm going to get on subs or methadone.

I've tried to quit many times before. I'm not sure where this strength to kick came from. But it just sort of popped up on me and I want to take it as far as I possibly can.

I think the strength came from becoming aware of/thinking about weakness that is opiate dependency. I'm not the type to be ok with seeing myself as weak or out of control. From intensive plant training and intense selecting of genetics to running my business with no compromises and exactly as I want... I have to be in control of things because if shit gets fucked up I need it to be on me. I'll go mad thinking about what went wrong that was out of my control. Opiate dependency does not let me stay in control... for some reason that really set in, in my mind, just recently.

Theres no quick fix man, so dont get your hopes up. But im sure you already know that. I dont know how long youve been an addict, its probably been said, but i dont wanna go through 10 pages. But if youre already through the physical withdrawals, your almost half way there. For me PAWS is always the absolute worst. And if youre still not clean, i would highly recommend going to detox or rehab. Most places will put you on suboxone/subutex/methadone and taper you down over 4-5 days which, imo, is a life saver. I went into detox on a tuesday morning, didnt see the doctor until around 6pm, so i didnt get subs the first day at all because i went in high on morphine, and taking the subs would have precipitated withdrawals. But i did get them the next day and through out the rest of my stay. I was piss scared the day of my release that i was going to be super sick, but i shockingly felt great. I made it almost a whole month after leaving detox until i relapsed, and i relapsed because the cravings just absolutely CRUSHED me, my soul, and my spirit.

I dont really know what im trying to get at anymore lol, but just try to stay strong, stay occupied, and most importantly, STAY CLEAN! Good luck brother.

Also, btw, it was Ibogaine that is suppose to be the addiction killing hallucinogen. Heres a little vid about a guy who used it to get off heroin.

[video=youtube;oqmHPoV29LM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqmHPoV29LM[/video]

Thank you for the encouragement Budzilla. With all the time spent in bed the internet has kind of been my world lately.
These messages are the most positive things I'm experiencing lately.
I'm trying to not think too far ahead right now, but PAWS is something I'll have to face soon.
I hope you are doing well with that right now.

I looked at ibogaine. Like I was saying about losing control... a long lasting psychadelic just doesn't do me well these days. When I was a teenager it was a different story.
DMT however, being short lived, could be a good one time tool to pull out of the bag. I've seen the benefits of the mind from a positive psychedelic experience.

Budzilla420 said:

Theres no quick fix man, so dont get your hopes up. But im sure you already know that. I dont know how long youve been an addict, its probably been said, but i dont wanna go through 10 pages. But if youre already through the physical withdrawals, your almost half way there. For me PAWS is always the absolute worst. And if youre still not clean, i would highly recommend going to detox or rehab. Most places will put you on suboxone/subutex/methadone and taper you down over 4-5 days which, imo, is a life saver. I went into detox on a tuesday morning, didnt see the doctor until around 6pm, so i didnt get subs the first day at all because i went in high on morphine, and taking the subs would have precipitated withdrawals. But i did get them the next day and through out the rest of my stay. I was piss scared the day of my release that i was going to be super sick, but i shockingly felt great. I made it almost a whole month after leaving detox until i relapsed, and i relapsed because the cravings just absolutely CRUSHED me, my soul, and my spirit.

I dont really know what im trying to get at anymore lol, but just try to stay strong, stay occupied, and most importantly, STAY CLEAN! Good luck brother.

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HeartlandHank said:

I just might pull out a little bit of DMT and see if it wouldn't help me with some of the mental obstacle of kicking.

I've decided that if I was to cave in... even just once... I'm going to get on subs or methadone.

I've tried to quit many times before. I'm not sure where this strength to kick came from. But it just sort of popped up on me and I want to take it as far as I possibly can.

I think the strength came from becoming aware of/thinking about weakness that is opiate dependency. I'm not the type to be ok with seeing myself as weak or out of control. From intensive plant training and intense selecting of genetics to running my business with no compromises and exactly as I want... I have to be in control of things because if shit gets fucked up I need it to be on me. I'll go mad thinking about what went wrong that was out of my control. Opiate dependency does not let me stay in control... for some reason that really set in, in my mind, just recently.

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i really am proud of you for making it a week, but seeing that youre going to experiment with other drugs like dmt really disappoints me, you should just do your best and quit the drugs, why sub one for another? why?
it seems like you want a back up because you just wanna get high doesnt matter what it is, i urge you to stay strong, you have support youre not lacking any support so come here when you have an urge, talk to someone get your mind off things, but dont go and do other drugs.

Day 48 you think a week feels good man. I replaced my need to be high with literally being high on life. I actually remember things now, can sleep without scratching.. And I can pee a steady stream haha

HeartlandHank said:

I looked at ibogaine. Like I was saying about losing control... a long lasting psychadelic just doesn't do me well these days. When I was a teenager it was a different story.
DMT however, being short lived, could be a good one time tool to pull out of the bag. I've seen the benefits of the mind from a positive psychedelic experience.

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Let me know how the DMT goes for you and if it helps you with your addiction at all in any way. Ive got a few grams of DMT thats been laying around for the last year or 2 but to be quite honest, that stuff scares the shit out of me. But if it can do something major to help with an opiate addiction, ill have to give it a shot.

K so I don't normally talk about this but dude you don't want to go subs or methadone. Stay away and that's from somebody who was completely there.

i had a seriously bad opiate addiction not gonna specify but all I can say is one day it's all fun and games, then all the sudden your so far lost its not even funny.

If you've made it a week man your through the worst and it'll only get better.

Also doing things (other drugs) in place of what you feel you've lost only leads back to the same insanity. It's a vicious cycle!

im seriously gonna pray for u man!

To end, dude stay strong! Your gonna feel the need for the rest of your life, not physically but mentally. Find tools for your brain to combat your dark side, be aware it's there and adjust to it. This addiction can take you to places you've never thought possible.

Spiral outward brutha not inward! Hurts way to bad once you finally reach the bottom!

I dont know man, PAWS for me is worse than the actual withdrawals even though the withdrawals are hell. The constant cravings so bad that somedays all i do is lay in bed and shake, the sleeping for only 4 hours a night, but waking up every half an hour of that 4 hours just tossing and turning and having that last for months on end, the depression, the anxiety, the social phobia, being scared of having to interact with people and the restless legs. Its seriously enough to drive me totally bat shit crazy sometimes. I personally havent found anything that makes it better. Usually ill take diphenhydramine and dextromethorphan to sleep at night (non recreational doses), but other than that, youve just got to grind your teeth on those rough days and just try to make it through.

If youve never been, i would suggest going to some Narcotics Anonymous meetings. You dont have to believe in god or that whole "higher power" bullcrap. But if you just go and not just listen, but talk too, it will make you feel a bit better. You can spill your guts to a room full of essentially strangers, but know that every single person in there has gone through/is going through the same thing you are, they know exactly how you feel, and can 100% relate to you. As a drug addict, its hard to find people you can honestly and bluntly talk to and have them understand and not think youre the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

Anyways man, i wish you nothing but the best and hope you can kick this shits ass and never look back. Remember, just one day at a time. Good luck

Best of luck to you brother. It's just an Internet forum thread, but as fellow growers, we are sort of a family despite all of the rod measuring that transpires around here. Sincerely hope that you'll use this thread as the catalyst to re-igniting your life and starting fresh, instead of letting it plummet into the dishonorable depths of futile attention seeking. A lot of drug addicts love talking about how they're drug addicts, yet never actually do anything about it. You seem sincere. Ill say a prayer for you.

HeartlandHank said:

I just might pull out a little bit of DMT and see if it wouldn't help me with some of the mental obstacle of kicking.

I've decided that if I was to cave in... even just once... I'm going to get on subs or methadone.

I've tried to quit many times before. I'm not sure where this strength to kick came from. But it just sort of popped up on me and I want to take it as far as I possibly can.

I think the strength came from becoming aware of/thinking about weakness that is opiate dependency. I'm not the type to be ok with seeing myself as weak or out of control. From intensive plant training and intense selecting of genetics to running my business with no compromises and exactly as I want... I have to be in control of things because if shit gets fucked up I need it to be on me. I'll go mad thinking about what went wrong that was out of my control. Opiate dependency does not let me stay in control... for some reason that really set in, in my mind, just recently.

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i am currently fighting this very demon my friend, i wish you the best of luck, only YOU know whats good for YOU end of story, when your ready, youll be ready, good luck...for me buprenorphine program has saved my life, i started on 16mg i am currently taking 3mg per day and tapering .10 mg per week, good luck

aknight3 said:

i am currently fighting this very demon my friend, i wish you the best of luck, only YOU know whats good for YOU end of story, when your ready, youll be ready, good luck...for me buprenorphine program has saved my life, i started on 16mg i am currently taking 3mg per day and tapering .10 mg per week, good luck

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Good stuff man glad the decrease still works! Took me four years to get off methadone, hurt worse than ever ended up cold turkey stylin it at the end but like it said previously when your truly and I mean truly ready to stop you'll do what needs to b done.

ive been 100 percent opiate free for almost five years now. The joys I have just to wake up normal still chokes me up some mornings. I'm in control of my life and that's a gift in itself.

Indagrow said:

And I can pee a steady stream haha

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I forgot that was normal until recently... haha. It does feel really good. I'm hoping to avoid pulsating urination for the rest of my days.

sunni said:

i really am proud of you for making it a week, but seeing that youre going to experiment with other drugs like dmt really disappoints me, you should just do your best and quit the drugs, why sub one for another? why?
it seems like you want a back up because you just wanna get high doesnt matter what it is, i urge you to stay strong, you have support youre not lacking any support so come here when you have an urge, talk to someone get your mind off things, but dont go and do other drugs.

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I know what you mean by that. substituting, doesn't matter what it is, just need to get fucked up.
I have been experiencing that... i've been thinking about cocaine, which I haven't been interested in for a while now.

With DMT however, it's really not like that. Smoking a little too much weed sometimes has the same effect. It's sort of stepping outside of yourself and taking a look. Sort of like an internal second opinion. I don't think I am actually going to do it though. I prefer a positive happy entrance into that sort of thing. I'm not really there at the moment.

Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. You know you are a badass for kicking cold turkey. I know I'm using tramadol at the moment, but I am trying to get through this without going the sub/methadone route. I'm just trying to do my best right now. Thank your for the encouragment. You've always been good shit Sunni.

I'm all emotional right now. It's kind of embarrassing. I take 100mg of tramadol, even out, then look at what I typed and feel stupid. haha. I'm going to lay off the fishing for love thing for a little bit..

HeartlandHank said:

I know what you mean by that. substituting, doesn't matter what it is, just need to get fucked up.
I have been experiencing that... i've been thinking about cocaine, which I haven't been interested in for a while now.

With DMT however, it's really not like that. Smoking a little too much weed sometimes has the same effect. It's sort of stepping outside of yourself and taking a look. Sort of like an internal second opinion. I don't think I am actually going to do it though. I prefer a positive happy entrance into that sort of thing. I'm not really there at the moment.

Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. You know you are a badass for kicking cold turkey. I know I'm using tramadol at the moment, but I am trying to get through this without going the sub/methadone route. I'm just trying to do my best right now. Thank your for the encouragment. You've always been good shit Sunni.

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no problem cant say it was easy and i wont, just like how switching from a giant excessive meat eater to full blown vegan wasnt easy, or how going from smoking a pack a cigs everday to cold turky non smoker wasnt easy , nothing is easy, not a fucking thing, but oyu need to push through the temptations!
In the end you'll feel so wonderful about yourself.

nothing to say that ain't been said just my prayers to ya hank. all I have is this minute so I better use it.

Be careful with that Tramadol my friend, taking too much of that stuff can induce a seizure and can lower your seizure threshold for a long while if im not mistaken. Im sure someones told you that before, but like i said, i dont wanna dig through 10 pages of posts to see whats already been said and not lol

HeartlandHank said:

I just might pull out a little bit of DMT and see if it wouldn't help me with some of the mental obstacle of kicking.

I've decided that if I was to cave in... even just once... I'm going to get on subs or methadone.

I've tried to quit many times before. I'm not sure where this strength to kick came from. But it just sort of popped up on me and I want to take it as far as I possibly can.

I think the strength came from becoming aware of/thinking about weakness that is opiate dependency. I'm not the type to be ok with seeing myself as weak or out of control. From intensive plant training and intense selecting of genetics to running my business with no compromises and exactly as I want... I have to be in control of things because if shit gets fucked up I need it to be on me. I'll go mad thinking about what went wrong that was out of my control. Opiate dependency does not let me stay in control... for some reason that really set in, in my mind, just recently.

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I fervently counsel against methadone. That is "committing suicide to avoid getting killed" imo. cn

Congrats on a week, or so. Its a big first step. Im coming up on six months. It does get better, bro. For me suboxone is a life saver, its just the medical community prescribes it wrong. When I was using, and had to come off, the day after my last dose, I would take some subboxone, and maybe some the next day. I might get the shits a little, but other than that nothing. I don't have the urge to go score anymore, but if it was offered, who knows. You are not alone man.

cannabineer said:

I fervently counsel against methadone. That is "committing suicide to avoid getting killed" imo. cn

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i concur with this. methadone takes over your life just as bad as the dope