I wouldn't claim to be married either if that was the best I could do.Bro. Even echelon1k1's jokes are better than yours. You need to work on your delivery.
A little tid-bit you should know... I'm not married. So the "YOUR wife" joke doesn't apply.
Oh well. Better luck next time.
How many drinks do you gotta get in you each night before hopping in bed with that nightmare?