do your parents know?

Lacy said:

Props for you seamaiden. Very well written!!!!!!!!

We don't have any children but I have always had an interest in this topic and in the topic of honesty and teaching it to children. Of course the appropriate age should come into play. Kids understand when they are being lied to at a certain level. Its confusing to a child for a parent to say to them not to ever lie but at the same time be a hypocrite and tell them to keep secrets. It sents mixed messages. I then became a liar because it was an easier way out. Now for the last dozen or more years I try to be as honest as possible because I hate liars.
Either way when you lie to your kids you ultimately teach them to lie.

I hated when my parents would make us lie for their own advantage and wonder why we were confused about honesty. I never even considered the thought that your very children could become vindictive and blackmail you. This could very well be the case for some families out there. I know when I started toking my parents knew it but our family was not the communicating kind. All of that was swept under the carpet but yet they would still go away every weekend and leave the house entirely to us.

I'm not sure how the rest of you parents broach this topic but I can imagine it wouldn't be easy.

Good read seamaiden

Lacy

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Thank you. I have worked very hard to be the best parent to my kids that I could be, always.

Another thing that I may not have said is this: I am the adult in the relationship. EVERYTHING that goes down is MY responsibility. By that I mean that the risks I take are my responsibility, all my decisions are my responsibility (I'm big on the personal responsibility thing). A lot of people here talk about how to keep good security when you're growing and smoking, yet others whom I can only presume are reading at least some of this stuff don't seem to take it to heart and be able to wrap their heads around the idea that the fewer people who know (especially an innocent like a child) the better off you are.

GROWUROWN said:

How did you turn out? Would you rather your parents lied to you? Some parents think lying to their kids is the right thing to do. I don't! Whats worse knowing your parents smoke pot, or finding out they are hypocrite? LOL. I think a hypocrite is one of the worst things in this world, and I refuse to be one!

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Explain to us how not telling your kids what you do when they're not in the room is being a hypocrite. Should parents now start discussing their teabagging session with daddy, with a 4yo? What about financial troubles? I mean, it really looks from my perspective that your position is that a parent MUST tell their child EVERYTHING about them, that there can be no secrets, and it doesn't matter WHAT it is, the kids must know. Should I tell my kids exactly why their father and I divorced, no matter how terrible the consequences to them?
How does that work, exactly?

By the way, EVERY teenager comes to a point where their folks are hypocrites, no matter what and almost without fail.

Seamaiden said:

Acting as a responsible parent who is involved in my children's lives is one major way that I demonstrate that I can both use and be responsible, that I can enjoy yet keep my priorities straight, and thusly nullify anti-pot arguments.

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WOW! LOL...... I Must have struck a nerve. I do not want to clutter up this persons thread with a debate between just me and you, if you want we can start another thread for this, and debate away! Anyway I was just debating with you, and don't recall calling you any names, like you did to me throughout your reply. If I have called you names please forgive me. Opinions are like ASSHOLES, we all have them! So no matter if I agree with you or not, I would hope we can do it with out getting personal. As far as what you wrote, I would love to reply, but between the 2 of us we have already taken so much space on the thread that I am sure us 2 only care about. So want to start another thread? LOL.
But yes I am a parent, a soccer coach, and baseball coach, not only am I there for my kids, but I also am there for about 30 other kids with the sports I coach. I don't smoke pot in front of my kids, NEVER DRINK, Never do drugs. My point is though, I am going to talk to my kids, and not just go along with what they are taught at school, especially DARE! Most things in DARE I might agree with, but not when It comes to a herb from the earth. Don't think I am just a wreckless person and not resposible with my children, I just have different views then you, but am a great and very involved in my childrens life. Way more involved in my childrens life and activities then most parents are. You say you are involved too, which is great, but if no one knows you smoke pot, it is not doing much for the anti pot movement, like you said. Anyway I better shut up, if you want to start another thread I am game! Best wishes to you! and no hard feelings from me to you!

Seamaiden said:

Thank you. I have worked very hard to be the best parent to my kids that I could be, always.

Another thing that I may not have said is this: I am the adult in the relationship. EVERYTHING that goes down is MY responsibility. By that I mean that the risks I take are my responsibility, all my decisions are my responsibility (I'm big on the personal responsibility thing). A lot of people here talk about how to keep good security when you're growing and smoking, yet others whom I can only presume are reading at least some of this stuff don't seem to take it to heart and be able to wrap their heads around the idea that the fewer people who know (especially an innocent like a child) the better off you are.


Explain to us how not telling your kids what you do when they're not in the room is being a hypocrite. Should parents now start discussing their teabagging session with daddy, with a 4yo? What about financial troubles? I mean, it really looks from my perspective that your position is that a parent MUST tell their child EVERYTHING about them, that there can be no secrets, and it doesn't matter WHAT it is, the kids must know. Should I tell my kids exactly why their father and I divorced, no matter how terrible the consequences to them?
How does that work, exactly?

By the way, EVERY teenager comes to a point where their folks are hypocrites, no matter what and almost without fail.

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Thats very easy to answer without even reading all of what you wrote, that makes them a hypocrite because they go along with the anti drug teachings at school, which I too go along with but not along with the pot teachings. So I hope that clears it up for you, don't go along with teachings and let your kids think what thing if its something you do. Thats my point. If you tell your kids about teabagging you are nuts, they don't teach that at school, you should discuss what they learn at school, and drugs they start early. Tea bagging is probably something that won't be taught at school, there for I won't have a different opinion to teach them. LOL Very funny though!

my parents found out when i still loved with them

i overheard my mom/sister talking,and my sister said something about how my mom should smoke some weed,and my mother said "if i had some i would"

so i went to my room and got some,and brought it to her...hopeing she was being serious

she got mad,and took it
later that night i caught her smokeing it ._.

now she calls me up every so often asking if i have any

No hard feelings on this end, I've just been curious as to how certain things work. I don't remember any name-calling on your part... hm.. was there? Obviously, for those who have reproduced and care about their spawn, such a subject does indeed touch a nerve, wouldn't you agree?

I actually opted my kids out of the schools' DARE programs because both are special needs boys and for a while required certain medications. The program made understanding that some people need medications (also known as drugs) very difficult for my boys.

I did soccer for YEARS, and I have to say, I don't miss it one bit! Then the high school football thing, don't exactly miss that, either, but it was very, very good for the youngest boy.

As it stands now the youngest one doesn't use, though he does smoke cigarettes, and the oldest one got a medical use card (he tends towards anorexia and has appetite troubles). I like to think that I have a pretty healthy relationship with them.

Seamaiden said:

No hard feelings on this end, I've just been curious as to how certain things work. I don't remember any name-calling on your part... hm.. was there? Obviously, for those who have reproduced and care about their spawn, such a subject does indeed touch a nerve, wouldn't you agree?

I actually opted my kids out of the schools' DARE programs because both are special needs boys and for a while required certain medications. The program made understanding that some people need medications (also known as drugs) very difficult for my boys.

I did soccer for YEARS, and I have to say, I don't miss it one bit! Then the high school football thing, don't exactly miss that, either, but it was very, very good for the youngest boy.

As it stands now the youngest one doesn't use, though he does smoke cigarettes, and the oldest one got a medical use card (he tends towards anorexia and has appetite troubles). I like to think that I have a pretty healthy relationship with them.

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Well we agree, if your kids are not in D.A.R.E and not getting the anti marijuana teahings, then there is no reason to talk to them about it. I guess I started off all wrong. But if they are being taught something I don't agree with you can be sure I will let them know my thoughts, then they can make their own decision about it. As far as the names, I thought you were calling me a fool or something. LOL. No hard feelings though, and one thing we both do have in common is we try to be THE BEST PARENTS WE CAN BE! Good luck to you!

My parents found out when I was 16, very shortly after I started. They were both around a lot of drugs growing up, so it was easy to for them to know if I was just a little off.

well i turned out fine. im happy i learned the truth at a younger age. i have a friend who smokes more then anyone i know but when she was younger she would tell her mom that she would call the cops bout the pot if she didnt get her way so i guess it just depends on the kid.

~dude

GROWUROWN said:

Well we agree, if your kids are not in D.A.R.E and not getting the anti marijuana teahings, then there is no reason to talk to them about it. I guess I started off all wrong. But if they are being taught something I don't agree with you can be sure I will let them know my thoughts, then they can make their own decision about it. As far as the names, I thought you were calling me a fool or something. LOL. No hard feelings though, and one thing we both do have in common is we try to be THE BEST PARENTS WE CAN BE! Good luck to you!

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Thank you, and to you as well (you've got moxy doing the coach thing).

Now that they're grown and one of the three (between my husband and I) is a new father, I get to play grandmaw. I guess I'm as ready to do that as anything else, eh? I did not mean to directly call you a fool, it was more of a general "you're a fool if you think" directed to anyone.. meh, probably not making sense. And yeah, we definitely agree on the responsibility that goes into teaching our kids.

For the record, my folks know I smoke weed. What they don't know is that the first weed I smoked is what my friends nicked out of their stash. I was 11 or 12, I think, had never kissed a boy and still thought most of them had cooties.

I think if your parent teaches u to go against society at the wrong time it will have major negative effects. They need to be with in society rules untill they are mature enough to know what to rebel against. * imagine ur kid saying well I thought I could do it cuz I think the rule shouldent be. And imma break it until u Dnt care. * what fun that will be
and yes my parents know I smoke they Dnt like it it but... They Dnt care now LOL
Only smoke joints infront of them though... Feel to weird to hit the bong... But I'll vap

Yeah kids really shouldn't smoke until they're over 18. It will have negative effects on their undeveloped brain.

If you smoke pot, how do you stop your kid from wanting to try it at say 14/15 years old? I would like to show my kid pot and have him/her comfortable smoking in front me if they choose to smoke but not before 18. How does one do that?

The same way one explains how it's ok for an adult to drink. An adult has full cognitive reasoning and is also completely and totally responsible for his or her behavior. Your kid does something and it's mom and dad who get nailed.

My parents found out because they thought i was goin to bed early alot because i was tired from smokin early in the day. I was actualy goin to "bed" eArly to smoke out my window ;D anyway now aftr 2 stints in rehab my pArnts have accepted it n even put my bong away for me if i forget to put it away haha

My parents knew when i was 14 or 15..

I had 10 pills and i was doin a friend of mine a favor and i got snitched..

thus breaking the whole cycle..

Now? about 5-6 years..

My mom and I are pretty chill. I dont smoke in front of her, but I am in my comfort zone well enough to go talk to her high..she'll ask, she'll talk about it for 3 seconds and then we'll move on with our life and just discuss life.

cruzer101 said:

Well, yes my parents know. they have for 30 years. I actualy smoked with them. My mom once, she said she didnt feel it but she sure looked stoned. that was the end of that. My Dad asked me to score for him after they divorced. I got him an oz of Colombian Gold. $60 That tells you how long ago that was.

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When was this ? wow 30+ years ago?

ANyways, my dad is 59 so he lived through all the good times, pot was very present. My dad was exactly the type of smokers I currently am, he NEVEr let it interfere with his studies, he was a party animal and smoked but NEVER let it get in the way of his straight A's at private universities.

My dad has told me stories of his pot days and I always stated how innocent it is, while using alcohol as a scapegoat hehe
So I'm sure he would be 100% ok with it, if he ever knew I smoked.

I believe my mom probably knew when I was younger, but to this day I'm not sure if either know for sure.

My mom is the mix of anti-drug and open minded/ tolerant woman so I don't think she'd really mind ever. My neigbors when I was a kid sometimes smoked and the smell went in her window and she'd say "come smell this, they are smoking pot" LOL!

and I always grow up in an atmosphere where weed wasn't shunned at all, they just let thing unfold the way life should. No talks of drugs or sex, EVER.


So I don't think they know, but if they did it would be alright.

my parents are gone now but way back then when i first started to party with friends i told them i would probably try it. after that i think they prefered to remain ignorant cause they never ask me again if smoked

Yup - so long as I don't go overboard with it and have breaks from it they don't bother me about it (95% of the time I have it before bed anyway...) - my mums actually helped with my plant when I've been away before now

I hardly smoke pot, but when I did in high school I'm sure my mom was worried about my lack of motivation. Mostly I blame the deconstructionist mindset... That's bad if you want your kid to be successful and all that crap. If she ever got mad, it was because she was worried about my future, bla bla bla. I was a good student, went to college, and am really responsible so any of my experimentation with "illegal drugs" has ultimately been a total non-issue. The idea of rehab for me would have been pretty ridiculous...

One year, my whole family got high before grandma and grandpa came over for Christmas (because my sister's husband had some and it seemed like a fun spontaneous stress reliever at the time). It's a fun memory for the six of us. That kind of thing rarely happens, but again, it's not because we are all into getting high per se; more of like pot is seen as an additive to life.