Seamaiden
Well-Known Member
Thank you.Props for you seamaiden. Very well written!!!!!!!!
We don't have any children but I have always had an interest in this topic and in the topic of honesty and teaching it to children. Of course the appropriate age should come into play. Kids understand when they are being lied to at a certain level. Its confusing to a child for a parent to say to them not to ever lie but at the same time be a hypocrite and tell them to keep secrets. It sents mixed messages. I then became a liar because it was an easier way out. Now for the last dozen or more years I try to be as honest as possible because I hate liars.
Either way when you lie to your kids you ultimately teach them to lie.
I hated when my parents would make us lie for their own advantage and wonder why we were confused about honesty. I never even considered the thought that your very children could become vindictive and blackmail you. This could very well be the case for some families out there. I know when I started toking my parents knew it but our family was not the communicating kind. All of that was swept under the carpet but yet they would still go away every weekend and leave the house entirely to us.![]()
I'm not sure how the rest of you parents broach this topic but I can imagine it wouldn't be easy.
Good read seamaiden
Lacy![]()
![Smile :) :)](/styles/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
Another thing that I may not have said is this: I am the adult in the relationship. EVERYTHING that goes down is MY responsibility. By that I mean that the risks I take are my responsibility, all my decisions are my responsibility (I'm big on the personal responsibility thing). A lot of people here talk about how to keep good security when you're growing and smoking, yet others whom I can only presume are reading at least some of this stuff don't seem to take it to heart and be able to wrap their heads around the idea that the fewer people who know (especially an innocent like a child) the better off you are.
Explain to us how not telling your kids what you do when they're not in the room is being a hypocrite. Should parents now start discussing their teabagging session with daddy, with a 4yo? What about financial troubles? I mean, it really looks from my perspective that your position is that a parent MUST tell their child EVERYTHING about them, that there can be no secrets, and it doesn't matter WHAT it is, the kids must know. Should I tell my kids exactly why their father and I divorced, no matter how terrible the consequences to them?How did you turn out? Would you rather your parents lied to you? Some parents think lying to their kids is the right thing to do. I don't! Whats worse knowing your parents smoke pot, or finding out they are hypocrite? LOL. I think a hypocrite is one of the worst things in this world, and I refuse to be one!
How does that work, exactly?
By the way, EVERY teenager comes to a point where their folks are hypocrites, no matter what and almost without fail.
![Laughing :lol: :lol:](/styles/smilies/icon_lol.gif)