All your shitty jokes

lokie

lokie

Well-Known Member
An amish girl and her mom are riding home in a horse drawn carriage
Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold."

Mother: "Stick your hands between your legs and your body heat will keep them warm."

So the daughter does this and she is amazed how warm her hands got. So the next night she is with her boyfriend running errands:

Boyfriend: "Wow, it is cold out, my hands are so cold."

Daughter: "Stick your hands between my legs and my body heat will keep them warm."

So the boyfriend does this, then later on in the night:

Boyfriend: "It is so cold, now my nose is really cold!"

Daughter: "Stick your nose between my legs and my body heat will keep it warm."

The next morning the daughter wakes up and goes to her mother:

Daughter: "Mother, what is a penis?"

Mother: "Why are you asking such a thing for? Should i be concerned?"

Daughter: "Oh, no worries, I was just wondering. My boyfriend said last night it was cold so i told him to stick it between my legs to make it warm and wow does it make one hell of a mess when it defrosts!"
 
MICHI-CAN

MICHI-CAN

Well-Known Member
Dixonsideproject said:
Here I sit all broken hearted. Tried to shit but only farted. Then one day I took a chance. Tried to fart and shit my pants!
Click to expand...
Do you recycle porta johns?

Reminiscent of the enlightenment of blue fiberglass latrines in the eighties.

And happy you should be. As you only shit your pants. As OSHA requires a sling for controlled descent to avoid back splash.

As once read in in a port-o-let. Proudly proclaiming its variance to said standard due to sub zero temperatures negating probability of said splash back.
 
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