forgetiwashere
Well-Known Member
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled
to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed
to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
by 25% this April from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was
the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike
action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a
kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he
currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained,
"We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not
in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to
Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to
tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle , Middlesbrough, Essex,
Glasgow and Australia stated that they would be unaffected as there
are no virgins in these areas anyway.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely
put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.
Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen
on going to paradise.
next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled
to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed
to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
by 25% this April from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was
the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike
action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a
kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he
currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained,
"We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not
in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to
Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to
tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle , Middlesbrough, Essex,
Glasgow and Australia stated that they would be unaffected as there
are no virgins in these areas anyway.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely
put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.
Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen
on going to paradise.
![[420]Haze](/data/avatars/m/309/309354.jpg?1313548682){kind=avatar}
what tent was this sorry man.....?
