Remember, this is why I asked you to be as specific as possible in your explanation. I have no idea what, to you, means "deny self". What does that mean? I appreciate you replying back, I'm not trying to split hairs, I'm just an experimentation kinda guy. I plan on using your instructions, following them exactly as you lay them out, and seeing what happens.
Pada, I hear you. to deny self is a process that is very hard and is different for every person. The easy way to put it I guess is that the Lord tells us we should seek the things of God and not of man. So in saying that he is asking us to put faith in the fact that he has made a covenant with us and if we have faith in his word and come to him in submission and of an open heart in faith that he will provide the peace and shelter in him that we seek. Basically you have to have no ulterior motives, because he can see our heart he knows if we are being genuine or not regardless of what we do. If we do come to him as in answer his call genuinely he will take you and change you. I am really reluctant to give instruction due to the fact that this is an issue of the heart and God working in your spirit. I would just say that you know what is on your heart, as well as you know the things that you have reservations about that stir something inside you. You should make it a point to read the 10 commandments and understand how God see's them and what he is saying through them to us. After doing so I would pray to him and open up to him and tell him that you haven't kept the commandments and that you can't keep them and understand that only through the sacrifice of his son Jesus who was perfect and did keep the commandments can your relationship with God be restored.
It all begins at the Garden, when you answer the call you have to understand that Adam and Eve were created perfect and had a relationship with God. When they took of the tree at that moment sin entered the world and is severed the relationship instantly they had with God because God refuses to dwell with sin. After the relationship was severed God sent his only begotten son who was perfect and kept all the commandments to die for mans sins to restore the relationship between man and God through the repentance and faith that through the sacrifice of his son Jesus he would save you and it would restore the relationship between you and God.
A good way to look at it is as follows:
Leave all emotion and preconcieved notions out and ask yourself these things.
1. Have you ever stolen or taken anything that did not belong to you no matter how small or trivial? According to the Commandments God calls a person that has a thief.
2. Have you ever look upon another with lust? According to the commandments God calls the person that has an adulterer.
3. Have you ever taken the Lord's name in vain? According to the commandments God calls the person that has a blasphemer.
4. Have you ever told a lie no matter how small? According to the commandments God call the person that has a liar.
With that being said and that is just 4 of the 10 commandments and you were standing in front of God and he was going to render judgement upon you according to his law; would he find you guilty?
God told us that the wages of sin is death. With that being said where would he send you? Heaven or Hell?
OK, we'll see what happens. I'm going to follow the instructions you provide exactly as you lay them out. We'll test this out and see what happens.
What if nothing happens though? What then? Are you going to say that I didn't do it right? That I missed a step? That I just didn't believe it enough? I didn't surrender the correct way? I had ulterior motives from the start?
That's what I don't want to happen. I don't want to do this experiment and have nobody change their opinion. You say this is the way to reaching God, to understanding God, so I'm going to do it and see what happens. I want you to be respectful enough in the end, just like I will be, if the results don't pan out the way you thought they would, OK? Can you agree to that before we get started?
I can tell you this, if you indeed approach God with an open heart and genuinely answer his call you won't have to worry about it panning out it will change your life and as time goes on you will grow and grow in your walk and understanding of the character and love of God.