What did you accomplish today?

dangledo

dangledo

Well-Known Member
420God said:
Thank god it wasn't the bacon. I don't know if I could live with being allergic to it. :-?
Click to expand...
I'm not sure I'll ever be the same after smoking some deli-cut bacon covered in brown sugar then glazed with real maple syrup the last twenty minutes of a three hour smoke. Ruined me. NOTHING will ever be the same. Screenshot_2017-05-13-10-02-01.png

Screenshot_2017-05-13-10-02-13.png

Candied bacon ftw. Once cooled it was firm enough to hold straight out.
 
cat of curiosity

cat of curiosity

Well-Known Member
Indacouch said:
LMAO ....if I have bacon a penis is in order GP.View attachment 3941647
I made pancakes a few months back......I'm no longer allowed to cook when the wife's relatives come to visit.

That was my mother in laws plate.

She seemed hungry
Click to expand...
inda to wife ''what's for breakfast, honey?"

inda's wife "i'm sleeping, go eat a dick!!''

inda's reply ''just did! would you like one as well?"

well played @Indacouch , well played ;)
 
Indacouch

Indacouch

Well-Known Member
I actually have kind of a funny story to share.

Last night around 2am i was watching some soft porn on my phone before bed , to get relaxed for sleep of course. I've tried the sounds of nature CDs and naked meditation but neither work as good as some softy before bed...anyways I was just finally getting tired when I got a text on my cell ...mind you it's very late ...initially I thought the volume was to loud and momma caught me again...but it was my elderly neighbor who is usually in bed by 6pm .....she said hey I just heard a few loud noises and I think there's someone on our properties ....were the only two houses next to eachother...we both have big properties so it's not like a city neighbor were spaced apart .....our houses use to be dairies back in the day and there's actually an old milk house on her property still ........her husband died a while back and I've known them forever , so she has my number incase of emergency or she needs anything in general.....so I text her back and said stay put il be rite over don't panic........so I grabbed my little friend ((not my penis)) and my slippers and headed out the door ......as soon as I open my side door I heard a noise as well ......of course the elderly neighbor is texting me at panic rate making my phone light up and ring ....blowing my cover to any would be intruder ....so after a few minutes of listening and letting my eyes adjust from soft porn to pitch black warrior vision ..I start walking towards my shop near my driveway ....all the sudden a loud ass noise of something falling startles the fuck outta me and it's on my property under my car port .....so I'm in full on take a motherfucker out mode now .......I get up to the corner and start peaking around and I can hear shuffling and it sounds like people going through my tools ......so I get my light ready as well as my little friend ((not my penis)) and I do a quick 3,2,1 count and go around the corner pointing my little friend ((not my penis)) and shining my light ....and to my surprise there's a momma possum and several smaller ones taking serious interest in little indas bucket of sidewalk chalk...o_O

We all kinda look at eachother in shock and I clap my hands and momma possum turns and leaves and the little ones follow rite behind ...........I haven't seen any possums in a long time here at the house or in the barn .....I have one raccoon that lives outback and I leave dog food out for him to enjoy ....he's huge .


Obviously I text the neighbor and told her I found several intruders and single handedly took care of all of them like a real badass.image.jpg
That's the raccoon I have around the house .....dark pic but you can kinda see him
 
Bareback

Bareback

Well-Known Member
Indacouch said:
I actually have kind of a funny story to share.

Last night around 2am i was watching some soft porn on my phone before bed , to get relaxed for sleep of course. I've tried the sounds of nature CDs and naked meditation but neither work as good as some softy before bed...anyways I was just finally getting tired when I got a text on my cell ...mind you it's very late ...initially I thought the volume was to loud and momma caught me again...but it was my elderly neighbor who is usually in bed by 6pm .....she said hey I just heard a few loud noises and I think there's someone on our properties ....were the only two houses next to eachother...we both have big properties so it's not like a city neighbor were spaced apart .....our houses use to be dairies back in the day and there's actually an old milk house on her property still ........her husband died a while back and I've known them forever , so she has my number incase of emergency or she needs anything in general.....so I text her back and said stay put il be rite over don't panic........so I grabbed my little friend ((not my penis)) and my slippers and headed out the door ......as soon as I open my side door I heard a noise as well ......of course the elderly neighbor is texting me at panic rate making my phone light up and ring ....blowing my cover to any would be intruder ....so after a few minutes of listening and letting my eyes adjust from soft porn to pitch black warrior vision ..I start walking towards my shop near my driveway ....all the sudden a loud ass noise of something falling startles the fuck outta me and it's on my property under my car port .....so I'm in full on take a motherfucker out mode now .......I get up to the corner and start peaking around and I can hear shuffling and it sounds like people going through my tools ......so I get my light ready as well as my little friend ((not my penis)) and I do a quick 3,2,1 count and go around the corner pointing my little friend ((not my penis)) and shining my light ....and to my surprise there's a momma possum and several smaller ones taking serious interest in little indas bucket of sidewalk chalk...o_O

We all kinda look at eachother in shock and I clap my hands and momma possum turns and leaves and the little ones follow rite behind ...........I haven't seen any possums in a long time here at the house or in the barn .....I have one raccoon that lives outback and I leave dog food out for him to enjoy ....he's huge .


Obviously I text the neighbor and told her I found several intruders and single handedly took care of all of them like a real badass.View attachment 3941679
That's the raccoon I have around the house .....dark pic but you can kinda see him
Click to expand...

I am a country boy and have a lot of wild life stories. But let me share just one possum story.
It was 1983 and my best friend and I was possum hunting it's after midnight and we have 13 live possumsin the trunk when we spot 3 crossing the road so my friend does a Duke's of Hazzard move into the parsonage yard we both bale out and give chase I catch 2 on one side of the house and start heading back to the car when I hear a load freeze MF and wouldn't you know it's duty dog repeatedly screaming freeze MF but I have a possum in each hand and if you had a possum by the tale you know it's a dance or you get bite , so I say open the trunk and he does but at moment 13 possums at same time hiss and snare and the young cop must have pissed himself, bc he screaming f... F.... F... and tells us that our hunting is over for the night. My friend got kill two weeks later .

RIP Cary .

Ohh we when to jail the day before he got killed . I miss the hell out my friend, best damn catfisherman I ever seen.
 
mr sunshine

mr sunshine

Well-Known Member
Indacouch said:
I actually have kind of a funny story to share.

Last night around 2am i was watching some soft porn on my phone before bed , to get relaxed for sleep of course. I've tried the sounds of nature CDs and naked meditation but neither work as good as some softy before bed...anyways I was just finally getting tired when I got a text on my cell ...mind you it's very late ...initially I thought the volume was to loud and momma caught me again...but it was my elderly neighbor who is usually in bed by 6pm .....she said hey I just heard a few loud noises and I think there's someone on our properties ....were the only two houses next to eachother...we both have big properties so it's not like a city neighbor were spaced apart .....our houses use to be dairies back in the day and there's actually an old milk house on her property still ........her husband died a while back and I've known them forever , so she has my number incase of emergency or she needs anything in general.....so I text her back and said stay put il be rite over don't panic........so I grabbed my little friend ((not my penis)) and my slippers and headed out the door ......as soon as I open my side door I heard a noise as well ......of course the elderly neighbor is texting me at panic rate making my phone light up and ring ....blowing my cover to any would be intruder ....so after a few minutes of listening and letting my eyes adjust from soft porn to pitch black warrior vision ..I start walking towards my shop near my driveway ....all the sudden a loud ass noise of something falling startles the fuck outta me and it's on my property under my car port .....so I'm in full on take a motherfucker out mode now .......I get up to the corner and start peaking around and I can hear shuffling and it sounds like people going through my tools ......so I get my light ready as well as my little friend ((not my penis)) and I do a quick 3,2,1 count and go around the corner pointing my little friend ((not my penis)) and shining my light ....and to my surprise there's a momma possum and several smaller ones taking serious interest in little indas bucket of sidewalk chalk...o_O

We all kinda look at eachother in shock and I clap my hands and momma possum turns and leaves and the little ones follow rite behind ...........I haven't seen any possums in a long time here at the house or in the barn .....I have one raccoon that lives outback and I leave dog food out for him to enjoy ....he's huge .


Obviously I text the neighbor and told her I found several intruders and single handedly took care of all of them like a real badass.View attachment 3941679
That's the raccoon I have around the house .....dark pic but you can kinda see him
Click to expand...
You lost me at "soft porn".
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Indacouch said:
I actually have kind of a funny story to share.

Last night around 2am i was watching some soft porn on my phone before bed , to get relaxed for sleep of course. I've tried the sounds of nature CDs and naked meditation but neither work as good as some softy before bed...anyways I was just finally getting tired when I got a text on my cell ...mind you it's very late ...initially I thought the volume was to loud and momma caught me again...but it was my elderly neighbor who is usually in bed by 6pm .....she said hey I just heard a few loud noises and I think there's someone on our properties ....were the only two houses next to eachother...we both have big properties so it's not like a city neighbor were spaced apart .....our houses use to be dairies back in the day and there's actually an old milk house on her property still ........her husband died a while back and I've known them forever , so she has my number incase of emergency or she needs anything in general.....so I text her back and said stay put il be rite over don't panic........so I grabbed my little friend ((not my penis)) and my slippers and headed out the door ......as soon as I open my side door I heard a noise as well ......of course the elderly neighbor is texting me at panic rate making my phone light up and ring ....blowing my cover to any would be intruder ....so after a few minutes of listening and letting my eyes adjust from soft porn to pitch black warrior vision ..I start walking towards my shop near my driveway ....all the sudden a loud ass noise of something falling startles the fuck outta me and it's on my property under my car port .....so I'm in full on take a motherfucker out mode now .......I get up to the corner and start peaking around and I can hear shuffling and it sounds like people going through my tools ......so I get my light ready as well as my little friend ((not my penis)) and I do a quick 3,2,1 count and go around the corner pointing my little friend ((not my penis)) and shining my light ....and to my surprise there's a momma possum and several smaller ones taking serious interest in little indas bucket of sidewalk chalk...o_O

We all kinda look at eachother in shock and I clap my hands and momma possum turns and leaves and the little ones follow rite behind ...........I haven't seen any possums in a long time here at the house or in the barn .....I have one raccoon that lives outback and I leave dog food out for him to enjoy ....he's huge .


Obviously I text the neighbor and told her I found several intruders and single handedly took care of all of them like a real badass.View attachment 3941679
That's the raccoon I have around the house .....dark pic but you can kinda see him
Click to expand...
Epic. From soft porn to marauding marsupial mommas. Tiny ninja bow
 
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