Lost all ambition in my life

[Feisty1UR]

I don't know where else to post this, but a lot of people on here have been great for help and advice. Let me start off by saying I'm only 18 years old. Ever since I was 16 I've had a black cloud above me stopping me from progressing. I finished school with GCSE's that aren't up to par - D's in English and maths. Everything else I've achieved a C or higher. But most of the good jobs & apprenticeships require you to have at-least C's in English and especially maths to qualify for a position. So money has been an issue, and I've just been working online making about 7k/yr max. I don't want to work in a dead end job for the rest of my life.

I was happy for most of last year, I went to the gym constantly with a good friend from school he's roughly 5"5, and I'm 6"3. He's roughly half the size of me, so when it comes to the gym it's almost impossible for us to lift the same weights etc. We haven't been hitting the gym as often and we have hardly been for the last 8-10 months. I went from 180lbs to 210lbs. Not ripped, but slightly toned. With a less slender, more "bulky" look. That gave me a boost in confidence. I've lost most of the muscle I put on now. He had a great outlook on life, boosted my confidence ALOT. But he's in a relationship now, and we haven't spoke since. He was the 1 truly good friend I could rely on just for a few hours each day to get out and enjoy life. Even if it was at the gym for an hour or two each day. I haven't seen most of the friends I had in school since we graduated. They haven't bothered to contact me at all. I have to wait until September before I can go back to college to re-take my GCSE's. Then once I finish my GCSE's I have no idea what I want to do.

I keep putting myself down, and I get into a state of mental depression. Thinking I should just end it all.. I get anxiety also, I've never been in a relationship. I've never got close with a girl. That makes me feel even more worthless. I had an amazing childhood upto this point, out most days in town causing trouble with groups of friends. Riding our BMX's for miles and miles each day and coming back late. I loved life, and I didn't know how great it was, now everything is different. I don't know where I'm headed, but at the moment to make money I've reverted to growing weed to get by. I have no idea what else I should do, it's my only option at the moment. I never knew the world could be this cruel. I've came to the realization that life isn't all fun and games at some point you grow up and everything changes and it's never the same.

I just want to know if someone else has been in the same situation as me and can relate, and if they ever managed to get out of this cycle. Because I feel like I'm turning psychotic and I can't deal with this anymore.

 

[Diabolical666]

You think its bad now...psssssh you better buckle up bitch

 

[Purpsmagurps]

Ride the waves man. The highs and the lows. The highs gotta go away and make room for the new ones I've noticed... you are still too young to know what you want man. It took me till 25 to figure it out that everybody is just as lost as I am. The more you look deeper for answers though the more contradicted they become in time. Nothing is for sure. Don't hold yourself to a path of certainty and don't feel down if it doesn't go your way, life will set the opportunities in front of you when you are truly ready. I threw raves and Edm shows here in Portland for two years and it turned my life around. Get involved in the scene it's more than enough to point you in the right direction. Meet new people and do crazy spontaneous shits and don't overthink it l, and everything else will come in time.
Days keep getting better and better after that bud. Take care Lil homie

 

[Purpsmagurps]

The Egg

By: Andy Weir


You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

 

[a senile fungus]

I find that my happiness comes from a sense of satisfaction of self. I am satisfied with myself when I accomplish things to my own personal standard, when I do well for myself and others. If I can lay my head to rest at night knowing that I've done work that day, then I will be happy and sleep well.

Some of the unhappiest days in my life were in times when I knew I wasn't doing the absolute best for myself, and my feelings didn't change until my habits and behavior changed for the better. My feelings didn't change until my behavior and habits changed for the better.

You seem smart enough, you write well enough. The world isn't cruel, she doesn't owe you anything. You want it, you make it happen. No one will do it for you. Once you realize these things and you become a creature of action then the world will open up for you.

 

[Feisty1UR]

The Egg

By: Andy Weir


You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

I'm not really into reading, but that was kind of visualizing? It's definitely given me a different perception. I've done a good amount of LSD to have the same kind of experience. But not to that point. To be honest it's pathetic I've even mentioned LSD I shouldn't have to do any drugs to feel alive. Your right, I need to get out more and get involved. But I don't know where to start. Most of my nights include jacking off, smoking bongs, playing xbox, searching the web and talking to friends over skype.

I need to break this. How did you get into raving and starting up your own edm sets? or just meeting new faces in general

 

[Feisty1UR]

You think its bad now...psssssh you better buckle up bitch

I'm not saying it's bad, it's the fact I've got nothing to worry about. That's the problem. I'm doing nothing, it's the same shit, different day. It never changes.

 

[a senile fungus]

I'm not saying it's bad, it's the fact I've got nothing to worry about. That's the problem. I'm doing nothing, it's the same shit, different day. It never changes.

Until you change it.

It is so cliché, but you are your own biggest obstacle right now.

Kids are starving out there, people getting killed over bullshit. Realize your privilege and make the most of it!

 

[Feisty1UR]

Until you change it.

It is so cliché, but you are your own biggest obstacle right now.

Kids are starving out there, people getting killed over bullshit. Realize your privilege and make the most of it!

In my consciousness I keep thinking that too, we're all privileged.. But after so long it's like second nature, and you get bored of it. Some days I feel like just packing everything I need into one bag and just walking and walking as far as I can until I'm somewhere else, a change of scenery. If I landed in a nice tropical place like hawaii and lived the rest of my life sipping from coconuts in the sun with my own beach hut. wife and a few kids. That would be the life. But that's faaaaaaaar down the line

 

[OGEvilgenius]

Sounds like a lot of young guys.

1) Your buddy should still have time for you. Just flat out. If he doesn't, his relationship is doomed. Trust that. As much time? Obviously not. But you should never just give up on your friends when you start a relationship.

2) To get a woman you need to understand them. They want a guy who is confident, reliable, a good protector and a good provider. These should be your priorities in life. You should stop worrying about women all together actually. You've really young. The more you ignore them, the more interest they will tend to have in you as long as you carry yourself with some confidence and have an income. That's on the short term anyway. Long term requires more obviously. But those 4 things never really change. A lot of guys are brought up on Disney movies and ridiculous situations in fiction that have no baring at all on how things really work.

3) Everything you do right now, do it for yourself. If you start doing things because others think it's a good idea you will probably just wind up resenting them. Get yourself established - don't be afraid to take risks especially at your age. If you do something and fail at it - that's hard, but at least you know it was all you. So many folks wind up getting upset and annoyed with life because they're trying to please everyone else. The only thing that matters at this point in your life is you - that doesn't mean be an inconsiderate asshole, just that you should make decisions that are for your benefit primarily and because you want to make them. Later in life kids take the place of you, but only kids. Never let a woman dominate your life. They won't be happy, you won't be happy. Be yourself and the appropriate girl will find you IMO.

4) Don't get on prescription drugs for this. They have no efficacy and are dangerous. Just reading your post I'm sure you will get some shit advice suggesting you do this. Don't. It's normal to feel down about things when things aren't going as you hoped or envisioned. You just gotta take ownership and slay your dragons. Figure out what you want. Growing weed is a very honorable and reasonable thing to do. Are you doing it to get by or do you genuinely love it? If it's just a job - well, at least it's better than some. It will keep you fed while you figure out exactly what it is you want out of life beyond a wife and kids. Because figuring that thing out is what is going to likely bring you the wife and kids and also bring happiness and fulfillment.

 

[vro]

Relationships are scams these days. Dont be in one unless you want to settle down and have kids. Have sex with korean prostitutes instead. Do anything to make money because you are already dead anyways.

 

[Feisty1UR]

Sounds like a lot of young guys.

1) Your buddy should still have time for you. Just flat out. If he doesn't, his relationship is doomed. Trust that. As much time? Obviously not. But you should never just give up on your friends when you start a relationship.

2) To get a woman you need to understand them. They want a guy who is confident, reliable, a good protector and a good provider. These should be your priorities in life. You should stop worrying about women all together actually. You've really young. The more you ignore them, the more interest they will tend to have in you as long as you carry yourself with some confidence and have an income. That's on the short term anyway. Long term requires more obviously. But those 4 things never really change. A lot of guys are brought up on Disney movies and ridiculous situations in fiction that have no baring at all on how things really work.

3) Everything you do right now, do it for yourself. If you start doing things because others think it's a good idea you will probably just wind up resenting them. Get yourself established - don't be afraid to take risks especially at your age. If you do something and fail at it - that's hard, but at least you know it was all you. So many folks wind up getting upset and annoyed with life because they're trying to please everyone else. The only thing that matters at this point in your life is you - that doesn't mean be an inconsiderate asshole, just that you should make decisions that are for your benefit primarily and because you want to make them. Later in life kids take the place of you, but only kids. Never let a woman dominate your life. They won't be happy, you won't be happy. Be yourself and the appropriate girl will find you IMO.

4) Don't get on prescription drugs for this. They have no efficacy and are dangerous. Just reading your post I'm sure you will get some shit advice suggesting you do this. Don't. It's normal to feel down about things when things aren't going as you hoped or envisioned. You just gotta take ownership and slay your dragons. Figure out what you want. Growing weed is a very honorable and reasonable thing to do. Are you doing it to get by or do you genuinely love it? If it's just a job - well, at least it's better than some. It will keep you fed while you figure out exactly what it is you want out of life beyond a wife and kids. Because figuring that thing out is what is going to likely bring you the wife and kids and also bring happiness and fulfillment.

Thanks for clearing all this up for me, It's opened up my eyes. It's kind of cleansed me, in a way. I was working in a nightclub last year for about half of it. Behind the bar, and I've had many girls come on to me. I know I have what it takes to be confident and to provide an income for myself. But that's the just the start of it. For now, growing weed is a sure fire way for me to live comfortably. I know many people that smoke, and would pay good money for quality bud. However it's illegal if I get caught. I'm screwed. That will be on record, so employers in future would probably discard me right away. Like you said, I need to take risks. I just need to move past this point and have the courage to be productive and use the time while I can to provide for myself and keep myself happy.

 

[OGEvilgenius]

Thanks for clearing all this up for me, It's opened up my eyes. It's kind of cleansed me, in a way. Everyone offering advice. I was working in a nightclub last year for about half of it. Behind the bar, and I've had many girls come on to me. I know I have what it takes to be confident and to provide an income for myself. But that's the just the start of it. For now, growing weed is a sure fire way for me to live comfortably. I know many people that smoke, and would pay good money for quality bud. However it's illegal if I get caught. I'm screwed. That will be on record, so employers in future would probably discard me right away.

Like you said, I need to take risks. I just need to move past this point and have the courage to be productive and use the time while I can to provide for myself and keep myself happy.

If I were you I'd keep growing, make the cash you can. Do it smartly. Learn from those who have come before you. If you're gonna retail, you don't grow, you just know a guy from Cali and he hooks you up - retail to one person only and no more (and don't do it long, just make the cash to reestablish yourself). And he doesn't hook you up cheap if you know what I'm saying... the lower you go the more obvious it is you are the source. Keep prices high, take advantage. Then leave and find a place where you'll fit better. I wouldn't want to risk my whole life growing personally, although I would if it were grow or not grow. But there are definitely better options these days for those who want to get into this business as an entrepreneur.

*edit*
If you're not comfortable doing that where you're at, and that's perfectly reasonable - don't do it. Remember, do this shit for YOU - no one else, especially not some random fucker on the internet well intentioned as they might be. Don't be afraid to move somewhere that will fit your lifestyle better. Sounds like you're in a repressive state and that blows.

 

[neosapien]

Focus on getting a J- O- B. It will give you some stability and normalcy. Growing weed, crunching numbers, changing tires, blowing dudes, whatever. Then just focus on becoming the best in that profession. And the rest of life will fall into place.

 

[Feisty1UR]

If I were you I'd keep growing, make the cash you can. Do it smartly. Learn from those who have come before you. If you're gonna retail, you don't grow, you just know a guy from Cali and he hooks you up - retail to one person only and no more (and don't do it long, just make the cash to reestablish yourself). And he doesn't hook you up cheap if you know what I'm saying... the lower you go the more obvious it is you are the source. Keep prices high, take advantage. Then leave and find a place where you'll fit better. I wouldn't want to risk my whole life growing personally, although I would if it were grow or not grow. But there are definitely better options these days for those who want to get into this business as an entrepreneur.

*edit*
If you're not comfortable doing that where you're at, and that's perfectly reasonable - don't do it. Remember, do this shit for YOU - no one else, especially not some random fucker on the internet well intentioned as they might be. Don't be afraid to move somewhere that will fit your lifestyle better. Sounds like you're in a repressive state and that blows.

I live in the south-west of the UK. I think it's the UK in general that zombifies people, everyone's the same. No one is really upbeat, where else can I move? I've got about 40k to my name.

edit: If I'm growing in a 3x3 I can expect maybe 12-15oz per harvest if I'm lucky. Correlates to roughly 2400-3000. It would be perfect if I had my own place to grow more without a tennant stopping by every 2 months. I can expect to have my own place very soon, if things go to plan + work on other things after and if I really wanted to go far enough be pretty well off by the time i'm 30.

 

[a senile fungus]

LOL

i've got enough cash right now to feed me and my dog until harvest time. and pay for electricity and other bills. that's it, nothing else in the budget.

i think you're doing alright man ... lol

 

[Feisty1UR]

LOL

i've got enough cash right now to feed me and my dog until harvest time. and pay for electricity and other bills. that's it, nothing else in the budget.

i think you're doing alright man ... lol

I wouldn't say 40k is a lot, It's taken over 3-4 years to make this. While I've been living at my parents. Ideally I want to move out by the time I'm 19. Another 4 months.

Once I start paying bills, furniture + everything else i'm sure all of that will deteriorate almost instantly lol

 

[OGEvilgenius]

I live in the south-west of the UK. I think it's the UK in general that zombifies people, everyone's the same. No one is really upbeat, where else can I move? I've got about 40k to my name.

edit: If I'm growing in a 3x3 I can expect maybe 12-15oz per harvest if I'm lucky. Correlates to roughly 2400-3000. It would be perfect if I had my own place to grow more without a tennant stopping by every 2 months. I can expect to have my own place very soon, if things go to plan + work on other things after and if I really wanted to go far enough be pretty well off by the time i'm 30.

Ahh, in the UK. Shit's bad there man. Prices are high though - if you have a mate you can trust implicitly I'm sure you guys could make some bucks and then figure out a way to clean it up and move outta the country. Spain's nice I hear. That's probably where I'd look - they let people grow truck loads.

 

[Feisty1UR]

Ahh, in the UK. Shit's bad there man. Prices are high though - if you have a mate you can trust implicitly I'm sure you guys could make some bucks and then figure out a way to clean it up and move outta the country. Spain's nice I hear. That's probably where I'd look - they let people grow truck loads.

There's definitely a good market for it over here, I know a good few guys that are willing to help out. I need to start looking for the kingpins ideally but obviously those type of people will be very wary of who they trust so it's hard to gain connections. things are a lot more simpler where it's legal.

Most people here only want a few g's. nobody buys oz's. hardly ever. i'm going to have a load of bud and not enough people to sell to.

 

[Nyan Rapier]

Second puberty is a bitch. That nice loving time between the age of 18-24 where most people are going to school, working 40+ hours a week, and selling weed. Society doesn't really prepare us for this time in our lives. We're on the same boat, dude.