Unclebaldrick
Well-Known Member
I watch the news most evenings. Not only because of my advanced age but also because I consider it a useful place to observe the decline of Western civilization.
Believe it or not, the news was once not chosen by the videos submitted by drooling idiots from their iPhones.
Let me give the latest example... Tonight, the ABC news reported on a baby that was expected to be a girl (from the ultrasound) but was actually born...... (drumroll) a boy! Why was this mind numbingly stupid shit reported on? Because the producers thought that the video of grandma being surprised by this kid's dick was too priceless for us not to see. "That sonogram operator is going to have some explaining to do." the idiot newsman says.
On my "most egregious" list of fucked up reporting was when the simpering fool of a newscaster was trying to report on a cod fishing ban. The actual news story was just that - cod fishing is banned on the New England coast. But they couldn't just say that, they had to use George fucking Clooney to make the story relevant to the imbeciles at home. I swear, it went like this; "we all remember George Clooney playing the quintessential fisherman in "The Perfect Storm" (still picture of Clooney in The Perfect Storm). Find out why fisherman like him are upset tonight - after the break.". After the break, the news opens with a climactic scene from "The Perfect Storm" - Clooney fighting giant waves. After the clip is finished the newsman mentions that cod fishing is banned in the Gulf of Maine.
Oh I miss real news. We are all doomed you know.
Believe it or not, the news was once not chosen by the videos submitted by drooling idiots from their iPhones.
Let me give the latest example... Tonight, the ABC news reported on a baby that was expected to be a girl (from the ultrasound) but was actually born...... (drumroll) a boy! Why was this mind numbingly stupid shit reported on? Because the producers thought that the video of grandma being surprised by this kid's dick was too priceless for us not to see. "That sonogram operator is going to have some explaining to do." the idiot newsman says.
On my "most egregious" list of fucked up reporting was when the simpering fool of a newscaster was trying to report on a cod fishing ban. The actual news story was just that - cod fishing is banned on the New England coast. But they couldn't just say that, they had to use George fucking Clooney to make the story relevant to the imbeciles at home. I swear, it went like this; "we all remember George Clooney playing the quintessential fisherman in "The Perfect Storm" (still picture of Clooney in The Perfect Storm). Find out why fisherman like him are upset tonight - after the break.". After the break, the news opens with a climactic scene from "The Perfect Storm" - Clooney fighting giant waves. After the clip is finished the newsman mentions that cod fishing is banned in the Gulf of Maine.
Oh I miss real news. We are all doomed you know.
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