Help!

MojoRison

MojoRison

Well-Known Member
Granny weed said:
Thank you to you all for your opinions and advice, tonight we will sit and talk, my husband has given him three weeks to find some where else to live, I feel sick at the thought of him going but have not spoken to my husband about it as yet. We slept apart last night I don't think either of us slept, the silence this morning was deafening. My son is shocked at what his dad has said to him but didn't protest at his request, tonight we will talk properly and I will let you know the outcome. I pray to god a solution can be found for my heart is being pulled in two, my daughter is distraught and has tried to speak to her dad about it but he won't discuss it with her, what a mess this is dam this world I sometimes wonder if its all worth it. :cry:
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It is worth it, there is an image you've had since being a small child of what family means and it is that very idea which colours your decisions now, life's most beautiful and captivating images are born of sorrow and regret. It is only when we are tested do our true selves shine through, see it more of hurdle then a blockade and life will give you the tools to complete the task.
You're stronger then you may think and though it may be darkest ere the dawn, the day is made brighter by the knowledge of a fear conquered.
 
J

joe macclennan

Well-Known Member
sounds like the MAN has a ton of growing up to do. @ 24 I was out, married, bought a house and had a child on the way.

I cannot fathom mooching off my parents into my mid twenties. and will guarantee ya my kids won't either.

lahada is right. He should want to leave @ 24. A friend of mine has a kid roughly the same age and same situation, and he has turned into a real douche.

the guy hasn't held a job for longer than six months...sad really.

I hope the family discussion goes well.
 
Granny weed

Granny weed

Well-Known Member
So tonight we actually sat down and my husband myself and my son talked at length about the problems we have with his activities, the conversation was emotional upsetting but very truthful, and it ended well. My son is going to find a place of his own, his dad told him he loved him and would always stand by him no matter what but he couldn't carry on living the way he is continually worrying what might happen. My son agreed apologised and said we should have told him sooner that their was a problem, hes a good lad and it will break my heart not having him at home but I think its for the best. Peace has been restored in Granny's household. :hug:
 
charface

charface

Well-Known Member
Glad you are feeling better.
I did not mean to insinuate a lack of love on your part.
Clearly you only want good things for your family.
 
charface

charface

Well-Known Member
Dont get too comfortable.
just about the time you get used to privacy they come home and insist I start wearing underwear around the house again. :p
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Metasynth said:
But just to be clear, he fully intends to continue selling cocaine?
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thats what i got out of it.
sorry granny apprently your son had to be told you guys had a problem with him selling cocaine?
i mean really?
 
J

joe macclennan

Well-Known Member
I'm glad you worked it out granny& that he was mature enough to see it for what it was..and that your husband was understanding and thoughtful. It could have went very differently...good for you :)

I'm sure he'll bump his head in the months/years to come...we all have. He just has to do it on his own.

you other guys.....LOL & smh

make me laugh sometimes.
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Granny weed said:
So tonight we actually sat down and my husband myself and my son talked at length about the problems we have with his activities, the conversation was emotional upsetting but very truthful, and it ended well. My son is going to find a place of his own, his dad told him he loved him and would always stand by him no matter what but he couldn't carry on living the way he is continually worrying what might happen. My son agreed apologised and said we should have told him sooner that their was a problem, hes a good lad and it will break my heart not having him at home but I think its for the best. Peace has been restored in Granny's household. :hug:
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Why is he living at home at 24 anyway? Not meant to sound judgemental but ask yourself? At What point is your child a grown up? Tough love is best here. You're just prolonging the inevitable. It's got to run it's course… He'll likely continue whatever he is doing out from or under your roof.

One thing that I learned that has helped me when My SO and I disagree: Men like to have peace in their "castle" They hate having strife in their haven. So it may not be disliking his son as much as it is the absolute requirement of peace in his (your hub's) home. Your job with your son is done, you've raise him, but you are still a wife and partner to this man, and when all is said and done, it's your husband who you lie down with every night. More important to work out stuff with him than with your grown son at this point. Sending you healing and peace
 
Granny weed

Granny weed

Well-Known Member
Metasynth said:
But just to be clear, he fully intends to continue selling cocaine?
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That will be his choice, he knows how we feel and he appreciates that its our home he also knows he's loved and will always have a home with us no matter what he does, but I think he loves and respects us enough to abide by our rules when under our roof.
 
brek

brek

Well-Known Member
My parents have always told me (and still do): "we will be as helpful and supportive of you as we possibly can on any endeavor that MOVES YOU FORWARD IN LIFE". If I was involved in activities that HINDERED my life or caused me to take steps backwards I'd be out on the streets like THAT.

I think many people will take as much as you let them get away with. Apparently your son didn't think selling coke was something you'd have a problem with.

Good luck and I hope all works out. :)

Edit: WOULD have been on the streets with a quickness. I moved out at 17.
 
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