The Pet Rock is more popular than Obamacare

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
The problem with what you said? There already IS a brand of hierarchy that seizes your candy. Are you not seeing it? Why hasn't the "magic" of the Constitution prevented it?
admittedly the government takes some of the candy, but most of it makes it through the bureaucratic gauntlet and arrives at it's destination.

the guy who makes the candy gets a taste of his product.
the guy who actually delivers the candy gets to wet his beak too.
the guy who runs the candy store lets some of that candy stick to his fingers as well.

the only group who handles the candy, keeps some of it, but DOESNT facilitate the candy's travel from the Gum Drop Mountain Mines to the Candy Castle near your house is the government, but their actions are intended to ensure that the candy doesnt take a side trip to china for a coating of benzene and ethylene glycol.

they also patrol the highways to reduce brigandage by the Blackstrap Pirates, and their delicious leader Captain Syrup:





also, Dibs.
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
Please go on about Candyland, since it is so relevant to the rest of the thread, where you fail to contribute anything pertinent and logical.
well since you have no desire or ability to explain your (increasingly hypothetical) "philosophy", your positions, or your (yet to be proposed) solutions to the social ills plaguing western society, we must assume your secrets like deep within the arcane strategies of Candyland (or possibly Chutes and Ladders) so we must delve into these forbidden mysteries ourselves.

it's difficult and dangerous going without an experienced guide.

Day 117 our native bearers fled when we stumbled onto the Chompsky Rhetorical Graveyard, and they refused to go any farther, so we pressed on alone.

Day 260 through the jungle canopy we occasionally catch glimpses of the ruined Lost City Of the Trotskyites, but no matter how hard we trudge it always seems just out of reach

Day 420 shit son... what if we were all just like, you know... vibrations man...

Day 421 these local herbs are powerful and debilitating. we should bring some home for study, if we survive.
 

abandonconflict

Well-Known Member
Slaves... not such a big deal, really. Black slaves were also owned by some freed black men. They were also a hot commodity amongst Native Americans and quite common. They were also a top selling commodity amongst Africans. They are also still owned in the mid east.
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
Can't logically defend capitalism? Insult Noam Chomsky, that will make Abandonconflict go away.
Day 435 the legends say the native tribes are hostile, using ad hominems and passive/aggressive statements to protect the secrets of their lost Crypto-Marxist Culture but we remain undaunted. we press on, though it may cost us our lives and even our sanity.
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
Day 500 we can hear the chanting now, it haunts our dreams. "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!" "Thats racist!"
it is maddening!
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
Day 518 the Strawmen came out of the jungle in waves. they took Andy, Frenchy and our last supply of Funyuns. if this diary ever reaches civilization, tell my wife i love her.
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member

I had to look up MLP, ...duh... my little pony
Day 525 we made it through the territory of the Strawmen, but the border was marked with gruesome trophies of past interlopers. Red Herrings and Reductio ad Absurdums attack out of the jungle constantly. Harry took a Special Pleading arrow to the face but didnt die. i had to finish him, it was the only mercy we could offer. better a clean death than what the natives will do to him.
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
Day 537 we made it to the Lost Temple of the Chompskyites. the natives arent pursuing us, i think they fear the spirits which guard this place. we have begun translating the inscriptions. perhaps we will discover the secret wisdom which cost us so dearly to reach.
 

Dr Kynes

Well-Known Member
Day 542 we have pieced together the inscriptions on the walls of the Lost temple of the Chompskyites. it's just one phrase repeated over and over:

"Seize control of the language and you control the debate"

it's written everywhere, thousands of times all in different hands and with different symbology.

i guess the legends were right, the lost wisdom of the Chompskyites WAS their downfall.

sweet mother of gods! they are coming! if anyone reads this diary, for god's sake dont follow us! the secret wisdom is Bullshit!

oh shit here they come! noooo! not Internet Memes!! anything but that!! yeaargh!
 
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