Right in the funny bone

Why do birds fly upside-down over Oklahoma? Cuz its not worth shitting on.

Whats the difference between jews and pizzas.... jews scream when you put them in a oven.

Next time you see a big lumpy ass say this in a southern accent: God damn! It looks like two raccoons fighting in a corn sack.

A monkey was smoking a joint in a tree. A little iguana walks to the foot of the tree and yells to the monkey, 'whatcha doin' up there?' The monkey replied, 'smoking a joint, c'mon up!' After the session, the iguana says to the monkey, 'my mouth is SO dry!' The monkey told him where the pond was, not far from their tree. The iguana gets to the edge of the pond to drink, but is so high he falls in. A huge crocodile pushes him back onto land, and said, 'what's wrong with you?!' The iguana said, 'I got wasted with a monkey in a tree right over there!' The crocodile walked to the base of the tree and looked up and said, 'Hey, monkey!' The monkey looks down, his eyes widen, and he says, 'FUCK! How much water did you DRINK???'

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.

Two gorillas were at a Kane concert the mother gorilla said to the younger gorilla if I threw you on to the stage do you think they would shoot Kane ?

Two gay guys are walking past a mortuary when one turns to the other and says "Hey, wanna stop in and suck down a few cold ones?"

Maybe I should go over to beautiful and post some mars squirrels.

oldtimer54 said:

Two gorillas were at a Kane concert the mother gorilla said to the younger gorilla if I threw you on to the stage do you think they would shoot Kane ?

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You made me google that

ARE THERE ANY BIPOLAR BEARS IN THE HOUSE? what did the gunslinger preacher say? pew pew pew pew. I just now made those jokes up. I suck.

How long does it take to paint a bus red?

I hate being bipolar, it's awesome!