Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

herbose

Well-Known Member
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a shit."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass."


The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?
 

herbose

Well-Known Member
A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified.
The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he finds his wife. "Good God, Dear," he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!"
She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."
 
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