and i think i vaguely remember reading that post while i was catching up on your journals (when i first joined). would you care to share it with everyone here? everyone should have a wife like yours!
So I looked back and found the post I was thinking of... it actually dealt more with having a good relationship with your wife/ girlfriend. So if you would like that advise here is a link:
https://www.rollitup.org/grow-journals/150272-diy-closet-dwc-grow-first-22.html#post2365448
But you need to find a girl, and that's a different story. So there are two major things. 1. You need to know what kind of chick you really should have. 2. Being Honest... not necessarily for the benefit of the relatioship, but rahter for the benefit of time, effort, and emotion spent.
So the fist part, we think we all know. I always liked hot chicks, like cheerleaders, popular girls. The 'hot chicks' at school. I mean I guess we all liked them, but I held out. Dated one of those girls in High school. Real cute, half chinese, she worked at Hooters after school, got a phd, blah blah. Someone on paper a man would be proud to call his woman. But I look back and I fucking hated her... I mean I loved her at the time or something, I don't know. Anyways... it is beyond clear she wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for her. My next girlfriend was a japanese law student, a cheerleader like the first, always wanted a bmw. She liked dancing and having fun. She also was a woman that a man would be proud of to have (on paper). But we were beyond wrong for eachother too.
I'm not sure if that was important (haha), but the point is that I had an image of the 'kind' of girl I liked... a certain style (not emo chicks, or stoner chicks), a certain size (height, weight), a certain look (i liked all things not white), certain goals (to have a good job), certain tastes (expensive restaurants). Anyways, I just made all that stuff up in my head somewhere along the way and I really beleived it. I mean that was what I wanted.
The breakthrough happened with E harmony.... now before you groan, just listen. I didn't find my girl on E Harmony... I never would have... everyone is all Christian and shit (not me man). The part of eharmony that helped was how the matched you based on the questioneirs.
DUDE... Seriously, that's the secret. Because on other sites you look at pictures or profiles and pick things based on what you like, or what you want. But with eharmony the match you with people you 'should' be with. People that fit you. And after a bit you notice a pattern. Like all the hundreds of girls I was matched with, most of them were Teachers, or Nurses, or Librarians, or something like that. Most of them were chubby, and most were older than me. There were more things but those were the main ones.
So what I did was take this information and go about dating the way I had before... only now I was going for the kind of girl eharmony suggested.
I dated three girls that were this 'new type' and oh my gosh was it different. It wasn't like before, I actually liked being with them and could just be myself. The third girl ended up being my wife.
Now about the Honesty thing. You need to be brutally honest with girls right off. Because it's completely STUPID to date a girl for say 4 monthes only to finally tell her you grow pot, or that you hate children. Becuase chances are she isn't going to be cool with those things. And even if she's cool with them she probably won't love them about you. So then you either break up, or pretend for another few monthes that you might realize that you are right for each other... or that you will "change". That's a joke. When people say you don't change they are right. I mean things change over time, but you can't rely on anything working out different. Things stay the same. Either you are perfect for eachother or not... and if you aren't you need to move on, because time is wasting.
So like when I met my wife. We actaully me on Craigslist (no shit). And no... not in the casual encounters section. She posted asking for an educated redneck. I though, well I'm educated and kinda white trash, so close enough. I wrote a nice letter and at the end I said the things I thougt would be 'deal-busters'. I said 1. I don't have car. 2. I smoke a ton of pot. 3. I'm 3 years younger than you.
I figured if she wrote back after that then anything else could be worked out. It did work out, and here we are with me growing pot becuase my wife who has never smoked suggested I start growing.
I'm sorry this was so long, I just wish that everyone could be as lucky as me... and if something I can share can help make that happen, then I'm going to share. Good luck bro.