Losing a parent

GreatwhiteNorth

GreatwhiteNorth

Global Moderator
Staff member
1kemosabe said:
I have never felt so hurt and helpless in my life. Lost my father last night and pain is un real.
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I've lost both of my parents in the last 4 years - regardless of what's said it never gets easier. If I could pick up the phone to talk to them I would gladly give up time off of my own life to do that but alas it is not to be.

I have come to accept it and actually be thankful that it wasn't as prolonged as it could have been.

Good times close family and memories - these sustain me more than anything.

Good luck my friend, it is a difficult journey.
 
srh88

srh88

Well-Known Member
GreatwhiteNorth said:
I've lost both of my parents in the last 4 years - regardless of what's said it never gets easier. If I could pick up the phone to talk to them I would gladly give up time off of my own life to do that but alas it is not to be.

I have come to accept it and actually be thankful that it wasn't as prolonged as it could have been.

Good times close family and memories - these sustain me more than anything.

Good luck my friend, it is a difficult journey.
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Never lost a parent but I lost my brother.. It doesn't ever get easier.. Especially this time of year. All the holidays. It's a really rough time of the year. Especially during family events and they aren't around. Won't say it gets better because really it doesn't.. But like you said gwn.. Just keep your head up and remember the good times
 
tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear it, op. I lost my mom to Alzheimer's earlier this year, it is so very painful. She wasn't just my mom, but my very best friend. What was harder than watching her die was watching her vibrant spirit and incomparable mind disappear slowly over the last few years. If your dad died as himself, be grateful for that, at least. Our reward for living a long life is that we get to watch most people we care about pass, so fucked up...
 
WeedFreak78

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
I feel for you. It's been 4 years since i lost my father and I'm still not over it, I find myself breaking down still over stupid things like a tool I remember him teaching me to use. He had contracted a rare brain disease and went from his normal self to not knowing any of us within a weeks time, on life support within another week and dead within a month of us realizing something was wrong. The lack of closure is the hardest part. During the couple weeks he was still with us he started getting dementia, became aggressive and at one point told the hospital he didnt know us and didn't want us coming around. I couldn't even get a hug from my dying father because he didnt want anything to do with us.

It does get easier, I don't think it ever gets better.
 
It's not oregano

It's not oregano

Well-Known Member
Sorry for your loss.
There are so many posts in this thread I want to 'like' but it feels wrong 'liking' someones heartbreak, if you get what i mean.
I lost my mum to cancer 3 years ago, and i am not in the slightest bit ashamed to say I can still get a tear in my eye when something minor reminds me of her.
After her death, I realised that a lot of people volunteered in her hospice, and i did nothing myself to help others. So I decided to donate blood and have donated 13 times now. Every time I donate i think of her, and know directly because of her death I am now helping save lives.
It may not be possible in your case, but it helped me to get over her death and might give you something to think about.
Don't bottle your emotions up, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Best wishes
 
ANC

ANC

Well-Known Member
It will get better, with time you will remember mostly the good stuff and will smile rather than cry when you think of him.
I lost my dad when he was only 52. I feel like a quarter of the man I was when he was still around though, they leave such a big hole.
 
SunnyJim

SunnyJim

Well-Known Member
My sincere condolences.

Lost my father 3 years ago in January. We had a strained relationship, and weren't on the best of terms when he died rather suddenly.

My only advice in this difficult time is try to reconnect with whomever you've regrettably lost touch over the years before it's too late. Death is so final. No chance for making amends or repairing broken relationships.

Surround yourself with loved ones whenever possible; they have a knack for easing the burden of pain.
 
MarWan

MarWan

Well-Known Member
Sorry for your loss and pain, I lost my own a few years ago.
doing charity work in his name will help, and it would make him proud that he left behind a good child.

almost all things in life start small and get bigger, except for sadness and grieve it starts big then grow smaller with time.
with all my best wishes
:peace:
 
dannyboy602

dannyboy602

Well-Known Member
I totally feel your pain. Not really. But that's what we say to try to relieve each other's misery. We all go through it as Tyler said. I've lost my family. I'm the only one left. I'm an orphan now. I dont know what sustains me. I don't know how I have the strength to go forward, but I do anyway. You carry your memories with you and in a way your father still lives, in you.
I was lucky to have the best mom in the world. She taught me how to love and her love comes through me to everyone I meet. So in a way she's not gone but lives on through other's. It's sustaining. It comforts my pain. I hope in time you'll understand.
 
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