Tryingtomastrkush
Well-Known Member
A 50 cent piece and a dime......one isn't a dime....the other isno one has an answer.
Joke of the day
- Thread starter mygirls
- Start date
simpsonsampson420
Well-Known Member
why do hookers make more money than drug dealers??
they can wash their crack and resell it...
they can wash their crack and resell it...
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
ya we have a brain buster.A 50 cent piece and a dime......one isn't a dime....the other is
very good. you no how many can't figure that out.
password351
Well-Known Member
What did one snowman say to the other?
"Smells like carrots."
A male whale and a female whale are swimming it the ocean.
As they come across a ship the male whale says "Lets shoot water through are blow holes and knock some sailors off the deck".
The female whale agrees and the water's now full of sailors.
The male whale then says "Let's eat them!"
The female whale says "I agreed to the blow job but I'm not swallowing any seamen!"
"Smells like carrots."
A male whale and a female whale are swimming it the ocean.
As they come across a ship the male whale says "Lets shoot water through are blow holes and knock some sailors off the deck".
The female whale agrees and the water's now full of sailors.
The male whale then says "Let's eat them!"
The female whale says "I agreed to the blow job but I'm not swallowing any seamen!"
password351
Well-Known Member
A guy checks into a room at a motel and says to the clerk at the desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," the clerk replied, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she seemed to love to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?' 'Because,' she replied, 'I miss mine.'
Heidi and Pinocchio are walking through the woods. Suddenly Heidi grabs poor Pinocchio, throws him down and sits on his face. "Lie, Pinocchio, lie!!!"
''Best for last'' A boy asks his mom "why am I white and not black?"
The mom replies "the way the party went you're lucky you don't bark"
"No," the clerk replied, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she seemed to love to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?' 'Because,' she replied, 'I miss mine.'
Heidi and Pinocchio are walking through the woods. Suddenly Heidi grabs poor Pinocchio, throws him down and sits on his face. "Lie, Pinocchio, lie!!!"
''Best for last'' A boy asks his mom "why am I white and not black?"
The mom replies "the way the party went you're lucky you don't bark"
Joe Camel
Well-Known Member
A lawyer, a Catholic Priest, a Doctor, and three Boyscouts
Are flying over the Ocean.
Of course the Pilot tells the passengers over the intercom that the planes engines are failing and good luck.
They scour the plane and only come up with 3 parachutes.
The Doctor Grabs the two other men aside to chat.
Listen Guys, "we have lived our lives and made our riches
we should give up the chutes and let these young boys fulfill their lives".
The Lawyer says " Fuck them "
The Catholic Priest says " You Think we have enough time?"
Are flying over the Ocean.
Of course the Pilot tells the passengers over the intercom that the planes engines are failing and good luck.
They scour the plane and only come up with 3 parachutes.
The Doctor Grabs the two other men aside to chat.
Listen Guys, "we have lived our lives and made our riches
we should give up the chutes and let these young boys fulfill their lives".
The Lawyer says " Fuck them "
The Catholic Priest says " You Think we have enough time?"
pitbull1117
Well-Known Member
What do black lesbians like to eat?
COCOA MUFFS
COCOA MUFFS
aknight3
Moderator
truck driver is driving down the road sees a nigger so he swerves and whacks the mother fucker, driving down the road some more he sees another, just before he hits the nigger he realizes its not a nigger its a priest, so instead of hitting him he swerves and stops and asks the priest if he wants a ride, driving down the road 10 minutes later the truck driver sees another nigger walkin on the side of the road, forgetting he has the priest with him he goes to nail him just when he remembers and swerves to miss the nigger just in time...although the truck driver missed him he was sure he had heard a big thump, about 5 minutes later he looks at the priest and the priest says ''dont worry i got him with the door.''
Tryingtomastrkush
Well-Known Member
A truck driver with a shipment of black bowling balls is driving down the road late one night and sees 2 black kids on shoulder, both with broken down bikes.
He decides to do the nice thing and offer the boys a ride. They had to sit in the back with the shipment of bowling balls because there was no room in the cab for them.
A few miles down the road the truck driver gets pulled over for speeding and has a routine check of his truck and cargo done by the officer.
The cops walks around to the back, opens up the door and Immediately gets on his radio frantically calling for back up
"This guys got a truck full of nigger eggs, quick, hurry up and get here. 2 of them have hatched and already stolen bikes!!"
He decides to do the nice thing and offer the boys a ride. They had to sit in the back with the shipment of bowling balls because there was no room in the cab for them.
A few miles down the road the truck driver gets pulled over for speeding and has a routine check of his truck and cargo done by the officer.
The cops walks around to the back, opens up the door and Immediately gets on his radio frantically calling for back up
"This guys got a truck full of nigger eggs, quick, hurry up and get here. 2 of them have hatched and already stolen bikes!!"
Roseman
Elite Rolling Society
Me, Roseman and mygirls were sitting on a pier at the Okefanookee Swamp smoking several joints of Roseman's Northern Lights.
They were enjoying watching the fish jump, the dragon flies fly by, the birds singing, and of course watching all the aligators swim by.
After getting a great buzz going, they decided to remove their shoes, and dangle their feet in the water.
After two more joints and an hour of quite and meditation, mygirls says to Roseman, "Hey, one of these damned aligators just bit my leg off."
To which Roseman replies "Ah? Which one?"
And mygirls answers,
"Hell, I don't know, all of these aligators look alike to me!" LOL
They were enjoying watching the fish jump, the dragon flies fly by, the birds singing, and of course watching all the aligators swim by.
After getting a great buzz going, they decided to remove their shoes, and dangle their feet in the water.
After two more joints and an hour of quite and meditation, mygirls says to Roseman, "Hey, one of these damned aligators just bit my leg off."
To which Roseman replies "Ah? Which one?"
And mygirls answers,
"Hell, I don't know, all of these aligators look alike to me!" LOL
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
im not a girl and not blond. that fucking funny shit bro.. i like it good stuff.
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife.
"Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife.
"But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," his wife pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
"Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife.
"But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," his wife pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."
Roseman
Elite Rolling Society
study the pic
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady with a crown sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look!
What is your secret?"
What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big fat joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every day, and I eat only junk food.
On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."
"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
Attachments
Hayduke
Well-Known Member
I saw a pig fly in 1989....Arrowhead Stadium....Pink Floyd was playing...the acid was bunk
.Dude...that's my ex-wife...she was hot when she was 17...Dentures top and bottom, herpes, 32 but looks 42...I dodged a bullet...and got the kid!study the pic
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady with a crown sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look!
What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big fat joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every day, and I eat only junk food.
On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."
"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
Now...Lest the world thinks that the only people on here are spoiled-assed, lily white, wannabe-gangsta, rich white kids from suburbia...oh... and Canadians, can we just not use the "N" word?
I know the jokes are funny. However this is a public forum, and that crap offended my near translucent ass... imagine how it might make a black dude/ette *feel*...Please substitute "tweeker", "crackhead", "Republican", "Canadian"...wait forget that last one...but nobody really likes those other lowlifes. Or even just the cliché "N word"...everybody will still know what you meant...the flavor will still be palpable.
Lennard
Well-Known Member
Confucious also said he who run in front of car get tired, he who run behind car get exhausted.
ROBINBANKS
New Member
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
ROBINBANKS
New Member
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."