Joke of the day

Q: Did you hear about the 13 year old boy that got hold of his fathers' Viagra?
A: They rushed him to the hospital with 3rd degree burns on his hands.

Q: What do you call a dwarf eskimo with a hard-on?
A: Frigid Midget With A Rigid Digit!

The Penis Tax..............

The only thing that the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it's pissed off, 30% of the time it's hard up, 10% of the time it's in the hole.

On top of all this, it has two dependents, and they're both nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1999, penises will be taxed according to size !

To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this
information on page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 inches................Luxury Tax...............$50.00

8 to 10 inches.................Pole Tax..................$30

6 to 8 inches...................Privilege Tax............$15.

4 to 6 inches...................Nuisance Tax.......... $5.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION ! ! ! ! ! ! !

***** Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains

Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Service

smokinHerbOnDaCurb said:

The Penis Tax..............

The only thing that the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it's pissed off, 30% of the time it's hard up, 10% of the time it's in the hole.

On top of all this, it has two dependents, and they're both nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1999, penises will be taxed according to size !

To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this
information on page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 inches................Luxury Tax...............$50.00

8 to 10 inches.................Pole Tax..................$30

6 to 8 inches...................Privilege Tax............$15.

4 to 6 inches...................Nuisance Tax.......... $5.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION ! ! ! ! ! ! !

***** Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains

Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Service

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+ reps

A woman was complaining about how the "time of the month" made her hungry. "I have the munchies, so it must be hormonal," she said. This guy overhearing her said, "That's funny... usually when I have the munchies, it's home-grown-al."

smoking weed is fun to do
i bet one day you’ll do it too
a bong a blunt maybe even a joint
they all get you high, get my point
so with one single puff,as you take it all in
this is where the fun begins
i may be as high,as high as the sun
but who gives a fuck its not hurtting no one
some say its bad, like all other drugs
but you’ll say fuck it once you look at these buds
with these few last words i tell you my friend
light that blunt up and let the fun begin

Found this one on the net.There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".
100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; "hey man, got a light?"

i hope this doesn't offend anyone. this was told to me by my best friend who's black.


this is a little jonny joke.

it's fourth grade spelling class and the teacher asks the class what their father's do for a living. they are to spell what he does for a living, and a qoute he would give about his profession. she asks little susie first, and little susie says" my father is a doctor. D-O-C-T-O-R, and if he was here he would say, a apple a day keeps the doctor away." teacher say's very good susie. the teacher now ask's jamal for his awnser. jamal replies "my father is an electrician. E-L-E-K-T-R-I-S-O-N, and if he were hear he'd say turn your lights out when you leave your house." teacher say's good, but you spelled electrician wrong. sound it out and we'll come back to you. she now asks little jonny for his anwser. jonny says" my father is a bookee. B-double o-K-double e, and if he were hear he'd say 10/1 the ni663r can't spell electrician........................

THE MAN JOKE

3 things to remember when WE get old
1st thing is NEVER PASS UP A BATHROOM
2nd DON'T WASTE A HARDON
3rd AND NEVER TRUST A FART

what's out of bounds and looks like a shuttlecock?


jade goody on her wedding day

ok so the husbands at work and his wife called him up and says, what would you like for dinner, and he says JUST RUN AROUND THE HOUSE A FEW TIMES AND WARM DINNER UP FOR ME. LOL

mygirls said:

so did you all hear that they where hiring trappers in washinton dc.
Aparentally their was a coon and a beaver trying to get in the white house. Lol

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hahahahha i love that one fockin naggers

his wife also looks like a beaver, lmao

Three men were on a trip and they got lost way out in the country. It was getting very late and they were tired and needed to sleep so they thought they would stop at a farmhouse and ask if they could stay there for the night.

They stopped at the next farmhouse they came to and asked the farmer if they could spend the night. He said yes and said that he only had one bed for them to use but it was a king-sized bed and he thought they could all fit in it. The three men all climbed I the bed and went to sleep.

The next morning they all woke up at about the same time and one man on one side of the bed said, I had an amazing dream, I dreamt that a woman was giving me a hand job all night long. The man on the other side of the bed said that is amazing, I dreamt that a woman was giving me a hand job all night long. The guy in the middle said, I dreamt that I was skiing.

mrheadie said:

i hope this doesn't offend anyone. this was told to me by my best friend who's black.


this is a little jonny joke.

it's fourth grade spelling class and the teacher asks the class what their father's do for a living. they are to spell what he does for a living, and a qoute he would give about his profession. she asks little susie first, and little susie says" my father is a doctor. D-O-C-T-O-R, and if he was here he would say, a apple a day keeps the doctor away." teacher say's very good susie. the teacher now ask's jamal for his awnser. jamal replies "my father is an electrician. E-L-E-K-T-R-I-S-O-N, and if he were hear he'd say turn your lights out when you leave your house." teacher say's good, but you spelled electrician wrong. sound it out and we'll come back to you. she now asks little jonny for his anwser. jonny says" my father is a bookee. B-double o-K-double e, and if he were hear he'd say 10/1 the ni663r can't spell electrician........................

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best joke on this thread that had me going!

Q: Did you hear about those three black guys who drove off a cliff?

A: Me neither.

Just think, if the pilgrams had shot a cougar instead of a turkey, we'd be eating pussy on Thanksgiving.

[font=verdana,arial]what is the similarity between sex and a [/font]
[font=verdana,arial]snow storm?[/font]
[font=verdana,arial]you never know how many inches you are[/font]
[font=verdana,arial]going to get, and how long it will last[/font]