I Had to Put the Naked Smackdown Down Last Night

CaptainAhab

Member
So last night, by apartment neighbors are having a party. It goes on until about 2, with music, people, noise, whatever is going on, over there, that echoes through my walls. I put up with it, because I know what it's like. Anyhow, I fall asleep.

About 3:30am, bass and voices start shaking my walls, so I get my haggard ass out of bed, go to my front door, which is adjacent to theirs, then kick their door a few times and tell them to turn the music down. I go back to bed.

A few seconds later, guy starts pounding on my door, so I go and answer it, naked, and just poke my head out. He asks what the problem is, and I tell him that the music is too loud, and if he'd turn it down. He gets in my face, and then notices that I'm naked. He goes, "You're naked," and in my entryway, I tell him, "I'll kick your ass naked if you don't back the fuck off me."

He then goes, "You have a small dick," which is about what it looks like when its just chilling, and not blown up, jumbo style. That's white man. So I spit in his face, and sock him in the stomach, then push him off, and try to close the door. He kept trying to push his way into my apartment, yelling, drunk, and screaming, so I open the door and sock him again, then close the door really hard on the arm he was trying to stick through my entryway. Dick and balls flying everywhere.

After that, he said "Come outside, nigga" (he's asian, by the way). I tell him to go fuck himself, that I'm naked, and that he got punked by a naked guy. Also, I said that he's racist for calling me a nigger.

The music was turned down shortly after.

Pretty entertaining story if you ask me. What say you?

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bowlfullofbliss

Well-Known Member
I got a good laugh. Getting owned by a naked guy would tough to live down if his friends saw it LOL!

I really hope you're not bs'ing cause that's the funniest thing I've read all day.
 

brandon727272

Well-Known Member
I would be pretty depressed if I got my shit rocked by some naked guy I was bitching at lol. Especially if afterward he said you just got punked by a naked guy
 

april

Pickle Queen
Did ur penis smack all around during this event? did it get hard from the excitement? does that even happen to men from adrenalyn rushes?

Either way well played, next time knock him down and squat on his face placing ur junk on his nose lol, that will make him think twice lol
 

xKuroiTaimax

Well-Known Member
*actually cracking up* I am trying so hard not to laugh loud and wake everyone up at that... Lol...

I now I just have a looping mental image + sound effects of: "You're naked?! NIGGAAAA!" *smack* going through my mind. Oh my.

So that's why my browser was going crazy- we posted at the same time... and April is making me blush again...
 

bundee1

Well-Known Member
No I think your penis and testicles recede so they don't get hurt. A kid in my dorm was the JV ice hockey goalie. He took a slapshot in the cup and had his testicles retract into his abdomen. He was in the hospital until they dropped a few days later.

Good show naked man. watch your back.
 

april

Pickle Queen
No I think your penis and testicles recede so they don't get hurt. A kid in my dorm was the JV ice hockey goalie. He took a slapshot in the cup and had his testicles retract into his abdomen. He was in the hospital until they dropped a few days later.

Good show naked man. watch your back.
Wait his balls went back inside his body? whoa, what about his penis? did it retract like a turtle head? damn i know so lilttle about the thing i luv most in this world, PENIS. Was he ok ? poor dude if i was his lady i would have wanted to yank them out :P
 

xKuroiTaimax

Well-Known Member
Wait his balls went back inside his body? whoa, what about his penis? did it retract like a turtle head? damn i know so lilttle about the thing i luv most in this world, PENIS. Was he ok ? poor dude if i was his lady i would have wanted to yank them out :P
*giggling uncontrollably*

Remember 'Frank and Beans'? There is a need for such threads... We should go over and ask more crazy questions. No, wait, I need to avert my eyes


Yank them out.. Lol Poking is fun because it twitches
 

bundee1

Well-Known Member
The penis contracts to become a smaller target. I think blood is also flowing to your muscles during a fight.
He recovered just fine.
 

bowlfullofbliss

Well-Known Member
*giggling uncontrollably*

Remember 'Frank and Beans'? There is a need for such threads... We should go over and ask more crazy questions. No, wait, I need to avert my eyes


Yank them out.. Lol Poking is fun because it twitches
I think a certain wolf ate too much bunnies.....er......I mean Easter Bunny.. candy LOL.
 

Pipe Dream

Well-Known Member
This reminds me of a comedian but I can't think who. Talking about stripping down when someone's getting ready to fight you because "no one wants to fight a naked guy". Your story was pretty funny too, especially the comments. "you have a small dick"....classic LOL.
 

1Shot1Kill

Active Member
This reminds me of a comedian but I can't think who. Talking about stripping down when someone's getting ready to fight you because "no one wants to fight a naked guy". Your story was pretty funny too, especially the comments. "you have a small dick"....classic LOL.
I once knew a guy who would get naked to break up fights. Really weird...
 

CaptainAhab

Member
I'm glad that everyone likes my story. I'm surprised that none of the Asians inside the other apartment came out, though. Then again, maybe I'm not.

I'm going to have to watch my back, though. I was watching the Last Samurai last night before I went to sleep last night, coincidentally, and a big theme in the movie is that the Samurai can't stand the shame of defeat. In other words, they'll probably be back at some point and try to get me.

If it does happen, I'll have my clothes on, and I'll be on a gook flippin' rampage. You messin' with Mr. Pork and Beans
 
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