Great Stoner Quotes

me and a couple buddies jus chillin one day and my friend josh ends it like this
"man i'm cooked, dude im blazed, i'm i'm ...... fuck i forgot"

same kid

" hey dude lets go um um um ....." i say "smoke" he says " smoke"

i think hes a victim of the good ole short term memory loss or i like to call it brain shits

Johnny Retro said:

Me and my buddys are talking about a movie and someone gave away the ending. (btw were all baked of course)
So i was like, common man..now i dont wanna see the movie, you ruined it
And my other buddy, "wait stop thinking about it...youll probly forget"

Click to expand...

LMAO - AWESOME MAN..
I was with a group of friends at uni well baked and lost the draw for the late night trip to the 24hr garage. My friend Dan decided to come with me. When he was at the counter buying cigs i was checkin out the cake and biscuits for my cravings when i spotted something that looked like a swiss roll but written on the front in big letters was "DAN CAKE".
Not particularly funny now but at the time it took 5 mins of me rolling on the floor in fits of laughter before the guy behind the counter threw me out.

God, HALF MOON DAN CAKES are brill if you got the munchies!

The sim's Bob Newbie said:

God, HALF MOON DAN CAKES are brill if you got the munchies!

Click to expand...

No way man, your the first person who's ever heard of them.
i thought the cake was called a dan cake but its the maker, just found their websit dancake.com, salivate at your leisure.
Where bouts in uk u from???

i remember a time we were smoking cracking weed i looked out of the window and tured to my buddy daz and said it was windy outside he said no it's thursday then my other mate said so am i letts go to the pub i could'nt stop laughing for ages has anyone ever miss heard things when stoned another time we were at a friends house completly mangled mate was laying on bed when my other friend asked him if he wanted a pillow he tured round and said yes i want a polo

Not a quote, but on on boy scout camping trip we all were walking on a set of railroad tracks blazing away. We heard a train coming, we all panicked and ran in all directions. All we _had_ to do was take 2 steps to the side.

(yeah, we had a ultra cool troupe and troupe leader)

BigBudBalls said:

Not a quote, but on on boy scout camping trip we all were walking on a set of railroad tracks blazing away. We heard a train coming, we all panicked and ran in all directions. All we _had_ to do was take 2 steps to the side.

(yeah, we had a ultra cool troupe and troupe leader)

Click to expand...

haha it's amazing how toking makes you over think things sometimes

BigBudBalls said:

Not a quote, but on on boy scout camping trip we all were walking on a set of railroad tracks blazing away. We heard a train coming, we all panicked and ran in all directions. All we _had_ to do was take 2 steps to the side.

(yeah, we had a ultra cool troupe and troupe leader)

Click to expand...

hahahaha this reminds me of one time we smoked while we were takin shrooms (gotta do it before they set in or youll be freaked out haha) but we were walkin around downtown and a damn cab came behind us ( we were walkin in the middle of the road) and he started honking and flashing his lights lol we all ran like full speed off and my buddy yellin holy shit a dinosaur lmao ity took like forever to find his ass lol

So a bunch of us were sitting around smoking and one of my buddies say "Try to blow the smoke out of your ears. I Know it's impossible but it gets you hella high."
Of course we all tried haha

One time my cousin and I were smoking, and I was telling him how I blaze at work all the time and this was said :

Cousin: "Dude you're such a pot head. You're probably lazy as hell at work"

Me: "Bitch, I will build an ark high as fuuuuuck. I will make Noah's Ark look like the Forrest Gump shrimping boat"

we were laughing hysterically for 15 minutes lol

and no, neither of us are religious lol just random THC induced convo

"Dam wouldnt it be funny shiit if the bong tiped over???? BOOM!! FUUCKKKKKKK it DID!"

ok guys i never really had one untill now and i found it tonight and it is now my sig.
i couldnt believe the dude really did this!!
but its funny lmao well to me is is!

i grow everglades bud said:

ok guys i never really had one untill now and i found it tonight and it is now my sig.
i couldnt believe the dude really did this!!
but its funny lmao well to me is is!

Click to expand...

OMFG that is retarded dumb. hahahahahahhahahahaha like all condom are latex. WTF does he use, a milkyway wrapper?

fuck that "i cant find my keys" weed, this is "i cant find my couch" weed.
lol

kho20 said:

hahahaha this reminds me of one time we smoked while we were takin shrooms (gotta do it before they set in or youll be freaked out haha) but we were walkin around downtown and a damn cab came behind us ( we were walkin in the middle of the road) and he started honking and flashing his lights lol we all ran like full speed off and my buddy yellin holy shit a dinosaur lmao ity took like forever to find his ass lol

Click to expand...

Goddamn I couldn't stop laughing at that shit! Good stuff man!

My personal all time best comes from my first time smoking weed. My friend got some cheap weed. Well we start smoking it and it and I wasn't getting as high as I thought I should. So I said, how did he know this wasn't bunk. H e said he had been getting his weed from this guy for for as long as he'd be smoking, about 3 weeks. I then asked how would he know if he was smoking bunk. He said he just would.

I then go on to say if he had never smoked the real thing he'd never know what it was like. Kinda like a placebo. Or like in The Matrix where the one guy talks about chicken and what it tastes like.

The epic stoned quote "Dude, what does chicken taste like?"

And another is the high test my friends and I came up with. Get your friend's attention and say "ham and cheese sandwich" slower than normal. If you both don't bust up laughing, you aren't high.

Rigamortis is a dinosaur. (the rigamortis, the stiffest of all dinos)

Thats trigonometry, not *math*.

Heres a great stoner story

I have a Bukket a (Waterless Gravity Bong) me and my friend karl were taking hits, 1hit=1 bowl when i wasnt looking he packed the bowl full of cigar tobacco, i took the full Gravity Bong hit of cigar tobacco started coughing my brains out while karl is siting there laughing at me, then i say "DAMM MUST OF BEEN A LOT STEAMS IN THAT BITCH" not knowing that it was cigar tobacco

The Bukket

Karma's a bitch.