I just thought I would update with a little story. This shows off how much of an anger problem I have, and how much of a dumbass I am.
Alright today I went to the docs early to get the cast off my right hand after getting a boxers fracture a few days ago, my left pinky is still very messed up and I cant fully move it, and all the knuckles and joints on that hand are swollen.
So later on, I checked up on the plants and went to move my lights around and stuff. I eventually got it all done and I was getting ready to put my reflector cardboard and fan up. First it took me awhile to get a positon, and then the fan kept falling off the box, but problem was, I had absoulutely nothing else to raise teh fan up. So I ended up getting pissed because the fan wouldnt stay on teh box.
I started smashing the box with the fan, and eventaully it was unusable. then the shit in the box started spilling and I got more pissed. I eventaully threw everything in the box everywhere. then I hit the wall half-assed with my non-injured hand [has been previouisly injured hitting a wall though, but it was fine at the time]. It left a small dent from my middle knucle. then I smashed teh top of my grow box.
It took me about a minute to realize the lights fell on the plants. then I was so pissed because they took 20 minutes to setup, literally. It took me awhile to setup too, and they are only half-ass setup. so then I was so fed up and realized how hot the plants must be not having a fan blowing for so long. and i had absoulteuly nothing else anymore.
I got pissed and started smashing the fan on the ground, and ended up smashing the finger next to my pinky on the underside, very hard. Didnt notice it at the time, but I realized I popped a blood vessle, I may post a picture, its nearly 1/4" in radius, pure purple-black. hurts like a BITCH and I can barely type now, because its right near the tip where you hit the keys.
Later on I punched a hole in my closet wall with my "good hand". then my dad comes up and starts asking me what I was slamming. my grow was super close to being compromized, im so lucky he didnt have me open my room door to talk to him like he usually does.
I think I fucked up my "good hand" from hittingt the wall, it is hurting quite a lot to move it around.
I am an IDIOT.