Favorite stupid joke...?

charface

Well-Known Member
Pete and repeat are walking over a bridge. Pete falls off, whos left?



Pete and repeat are walking over a bridge. Pete falls off, whos left?




Pete and repeat are walking over a bridge. Pete falls off, whos left?
 

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Q: Why did the elephant paint his nuts red?
A: To hide out in an apple tree.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the savanna?
A: A giraffe eating apples.

cn
 

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
(cut and pasted while giggling) cn

John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), also called 'pullets,' and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.


That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing


Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.


The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen. But on this particular morning, John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all.


John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets all over the place with bells-a-ringing. The pullets, upon hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.


He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.


John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.


The result.. The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they awarded him the Pullet Surprise as well.
 

skunkd0c

Well-Known Member
Q. What do you call a Muslim with a slice of ham on his head?
A. Hamed.

Q. What about a Muslim with 2 slices of ham on his head?
A. Mohammed

Death threats welcome :)
 

OLD DUDE

Active Member
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says, why the long face?

Sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says, sorry, we don't serve food!

Two guys walk into a bar, third guy ducks!

A priest, a hooker, and a monkey walk into a bar, bartender says, what is this, a joke?
 

Blue Wizard

Well-Known Member
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.

The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?"

"No", said the farmer.

The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?"

"No", said the farmer.

The third beau came to the door and said, "I'm Chuck...."

The farmer shot chuck.
 

charface

Well-Known Member
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says, why the long face?

?
I went to a family birthday party and one of the little kids wondered out on the
patio where we were having drinks and I swear he had a little horse face so I being a complete douche asked the kid.
Why the long face. I got some weird looks for sure but the kid diddnt understand and I got a good laugh.
I was already gonna burn in hell so why not live a little.
 

shrxhky420

Well-Known Member
johnny is in science class and the are learning about bodily functions... the teacher asks if anyone can use urinate in a sentence... Johnny raises his hand and hesitantly the teacher calls on Johnny... go ahead johnny let's hear your sentence... Johnny replies... teacher urinate but if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten... stay high
 

olylifter420

Well-Known Member
one time pepito was in class and the teacher asked to make a sentence with she...

he said, "leave her alone cheese mine"

LOLL
 

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
This one made me cackle just now ... cn

[FONT=Courier New,Courier] Two economists were sitting at a nudist colony.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier] The one said, "Have you read Marx?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier] The other says, "It's these wicker chairs."[/FONT]
 

doowmd

Well-Known Member
In a recent telephone survey conducted by a Harvard research study it was discovered that 80% of men wake up grumpy in the morning.


The other 20% let her sleep in.
 
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