Favorite stupid joke...?
- Thread starter gioua
- Start date
Kalebaiden
Well-Known Member
That's what she said.
Jimmyjonestoo
Well-Known Member
Blonde calling 911 : " come quick my house is on fire."
Operator : "how do we get there?"
Blonde: " big red fire truck duh."
Operator : "how do we get there?"
Blonde: " big red fire truck duh."
shrxhky420
Well-Known Member
bear ask the rabbit, "do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur"
rabbit: "no"
bear grabs rabbit and wipes his ass...
why is 10 afraid of 7?
7 8 9
knock knock
who's there
boo
boo who
don't cry it's just me
stay high
rabbit: "no"
bear grabs rabbit and wipes his ass...
why is 10 afraid of 7?
7 8 9
knock knock
who's there
boo
boo who
don't cry it's just me
stay high
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Knock knock
(who's there)
Madame.
(Madame ... who?)
Madame dick is caught in my zipper.
cn
(who's there)
Madame.
(Madame ... who?)
Madame dick is caught in my zipper.
cn
racerboy71
bud bootlegger
ouch, i hate when the potato's get above the meat....
Hepheastus420
Well-Known Member
A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says,
"Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing
"That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,
"... So how many is a Brazilian?"
"Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing
"That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,
"... So how many is a Brazilian?"
Total Head
Well-Known Member
knock knock
who's there?
fuck.
fuck who?
fuck you.
who's there?
fuck.
fuck who?
fuck you.
olylifter420
Well-Known Member
this became lame... then made funny again due to Michale Gary Scott
MrFrance
Well-Known Member
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.
Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job"
Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."
Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job"
Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."
Jimmyjonestoo
Well-Known Member
Two muffins are sitting next to each other in a muffin pan in the oven....The first muffin says " damn its hot in here". The second muffin replies " HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!"
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Lame joke enjoyed in grade school (wanna hear a dirty joke?):
Two white horses fell in the mud.
Extra super dirty version:
Three came out.
cn
Two white horses fell in the mud.
Extra super dirty version:
Three came out.
cn
Urca
Well-Known Member
what do you call fake noodles? Impasta!
so the 7 dwarfs went to church one day, and after the service Dopey pulls the priest to the side and asks, "father, are there any midget nuns?" The priest says, 'no my son there are not"
all the other dwarf bust up laughing.
a week later, the 7 dwarfs go to a catholic school, ran by nuns. Dopey asks the head nun, "Mother, are their any midget nuns?' and the nun replies, No my son, there are not. Once again the dwarfs cant contain their laughter.
dopey travels to see a cardinal, and asks, "please tell me, are there any midget nuns?!" and the cardinal replies, no my son there are not, but perhaps the pope would know
the dwarfs continue laughing.
finally, dopey goes to see the pope. He says, "your excellency, please, tell me, are their any midget sons" and the pope replies "of course not my son, what in the world gave you that idea?"
The dwarfs cant take it any longer and shout "HAHA dopey you fucked a penguin!!!"
so the 7 dwarfs went to church one day, and after the service Dopey pulls the priest to the side and asks, "father, are there any midget nuns?" The priest says, 'no my son there are not"
all the other dwarf bust up laughing.
a week later, the 7 dwarfs go to a catholic school, ran by nuns. Dopey asks the head nun, "Mother, are their any midget nuns?' and the nun replies, No my son, there are not. Once again the dwarfs cant contain their laughter.
dopey travels to see a cardinal, and asks, "please tell me, are there any midget nuns?!" and the cardinal replies, no my son there are not, but perhaps the pope would know
the dwarfs continue laughing.
finally, dopey goes to see the pope. He says, "your excellency, please, tell me, are their any midget sons" and the pope replies "of course not my son, what in the world gave you that idea?"
The dwarfs cant take it any longer and shout "HAHA dopey you fucked a penguin!!!"
shrxhky420
Well-Known Member
everyone should know this one...
"Three tomatoes are walking down the street, papa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him, says 'ketchup!"
and a few more for good measure...
Q: What invention made it possible for humans to walk through walls?
A: The door
Q: Why don't San Francisco Cheerleaders where skirts?
A: When they do, their balls hang out.
Q:What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
A: A mechanic.
Q: Why do girls fart after they pee?
A: They can't shake, so they blow dry
Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Don't pay her
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can
...stay high
"Three tomatoes are walking down the street, papa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him, says 'ketchup!"
and a few more for good measure...
Q: What invention made it possible for humans to walk through walls?
A: The door
Q: Why don't San Francisco Cheerleaders where skirts?
A: When they do, their balls hang out.
Q:What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
A: A mechanic.
Q: Why do girls fart after they pee?
A: They can't shake, so they blow dry
Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Don't pay her
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can
...stay high
BuddySkunk
Active Member
What does Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?
...
40 Year old meat, between 8 year old buns....
Raunchy, I know.
...
40 Year old meat, between 8 year old buns....
Raunchy, I know.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Q: Why is it illegal for atheists to get blowjobs?
A: Nobody to talk to when they come.
cn
A: Nobody to talk to when they come.
cn