Besides smoking, how do you deal with stress?

My birthday is coming up this Wednesday sep 7 today I cashed my check and lost my wallet with all my cash in it... it's not a good birthday because my first and only baby was born almost a year ago a few weeks after my birthday (she was born sep 23) she had a condition the doctors didn't catch and even tho she fought hard she passed on October 5th at 12 days old. Def gonna be my most sour and saddest birthday don't plan on celebrating but now I'm at a all time low my baby momma and I split up about 3 months ago from the depression and stress. I'm not asking for anything or fishing for donations (I don't have a bank account or any cash apps) I just want some advice on how to not feel like the world is crushing me.. been about 15 years since I had any new clothes just hand me downs and used shoes. Lost my job when I would go to all the doctor appointments and it's been hard to get on my feet again... I just need some advice or kind words to lift me up... I realize this isn't the correct place but this isnthe only place I visit as far as forums.



Again I'm not asking for ANYTHING just words of wisdom to guide me back to stable ground... I never felt this lonely and can't talk to my family because I don't wanna burden them anymore


I hope everyone is doing well and is having a good summer and or year

Any family? Please reach out because family first, you know?
Second, talk about it with friends. Unload. Accept it. Very hard - but accept it.
Now : move on. Do something every day to move forward. Your new full-time job is improving your situation. The key word here is RESOLVE. Move forward. Do something every day to improve.

Best of fucking luck - the best helping hands are at the ends of your arms - if I can do it - you can.

I hope you find a happy place. If it were me, I would do whatever I can to not make it about myself or the ex. Do something in memoriam to your child. Maybe.. (big maybe here) if you are heading on a track to try to mend things in the relationship.. try to include her. Be creative & open minded to her thoughts on it if you decide to bring it up. It doesn’t have to cost a thing. Spend time not money. It’s much more valuables. An idea.. would be to visit the resting place with a couple of trinkets meant to be in the child’s life. Talk about the things you could be doing if things were different. It’s gonna be hard as shit.. but you probably have a lot to get off your chest as far as emotion. Let it out the cage. Don’t let it eat you.
I hope you are headed toward positivity.

when it gets bad...ur stuck in ur head...it's a prison we make. you need to remind your soul and spirit that you are not really stuck inside your head. I tell people in this situation (surprisingly often) they should close their eyes for a few breathes....ok while your eyes are closed you try to find some kind of distant light in your head then take a single step towards it....that's it that's all it takes to shut ur voices up if done right. this resets ur central nervous system briefly to realize you're not really stuck under that pile of worrisome stressful life, and all you gotta do is take a step in any direction to be walking towards a better life you envision. ok today may not be fun as you take all those steps you need to take towards the better tomorrow...but if you keep walking your head begins new internal conversations with itself...hopefully better more constructive ones. depression is no joke...PTSD is even worse. find a way to get thru the day, any way you want or need. I work out weight lifting to cope. also copious amounts of pot seems to add white noise to my head, helps me get thru the day....oh and music....omg i wouldve gone Ted Bundy/Unibomber by now without music.

Try a shrink.

Masterbation.

Beer

bazoomer said:

Masterbation.

Click to expand...

Do you mean masturbation? Lol.

I get lost in music. I know you said besides smoking, but the two go hand in hand for me. If it isn't music then it is a project I'm working on or just getting outside in the woods. Doesn't have to be something big or expensive, just anything that brought me to a different headspace.

I lost my mom to covid 4 days after Christmas. My first birthday without her was in May and I didn't want to celebrate either. It was a really low point for me. I started looking at every negative situation I was facing as an attack to my soul. Felt like the world was out to get me, but then realized that feeling was manifested by my head.

I'm fighting those battles everyday, but when I get low, I tell myself at least I'm not fighting for my last breath, put on some tunes, and get lost for a bit.

Be kind to yourself, the voice in your head is the loudest voice you hear, it's the most influential. For me walking or hiking is the best way to heal, I have to express stress and self-doubt through physical exertion, at certain points in my life it was the only thing that could quiet the negative voices inside my head.
Find someone to talk to, even just a little. I know that sounds obvious and I get your comment about not wanting to burden your family anymore, but it is important to externalize some of these feelings. When I've been down, like really, really down in the pits of self loathing and lost a sense of who I was or why I even exist, I would go hang out with a friend and maybe just talk a tiny bit about what was hurting, it didn't have to get to deep, and then go do something fun together. It saved my ass. Take tiny steps, it adds up eventually, and you're worth the effort.

Exercise in the great outdoors

Read a book, take up a hobby.



Don't laugh. Do something.




Learn a skill.



Stay busy.

Music weed fishing hiking etc shooting isnt a bad one either just keep busy ig

MickFoster said:

Do you mean masturbation? Lol.

Click to expand...

No, I've been doing it for over 50 years, I've now mastered it.

Walking. #1 thing, taking walks.

DDP/YRG Yoga

Meeting up with my car club buddies

I just replied without taking much time to read your post.

I am so genuinely sorry about your baby. That's tough and I can't even imagine the depth of which that hurts. I wish you the best with everything.

This may be kinda silly but for me personally, "I'm not the only one" is a biggie for me. . .. and not in a "it could be worse, look at that person" kind of way, but more like I try to realize the sadness and anger of others as I'm dealing with it, it helps me "lighten the load" on myself and remember that life is a shared experience for us all.

Stay strong, man. I wish you all the best.

Do you exercise? If not you could start there. Exercise is a great mood elevator as you engage your natural endocannabinoid system.

i really enjoy hot yoga and lifting weights and jiu jitsu. But a hard run which is free is Just as good or better for your mental health.

also finding a job or having a healthy daily routine can help re-align your life to the positive.

Try to hang out with successful and happy people. You become the average of your friends.

Sorry for your loss.

I find doing random acts of kindness help me because it gets me to focus past my own feelings and emotions.

I’ve been without a job for 2.5m now after being fired. (New owners and entire store quit with 2 months, including my managers) I know how you feel as I try looking for a new job, but have a wrist injury that keeps me away from better paying jobs because of my weight restrictions for lifting. I think i have a job and then I see what is required for lifting and must skip it. Pretty sure I’ve been battling depression for most of the year with no appetite and I dropped 50lbs (gain some back) So I found myself getting high a lot and just played/walked around with my dogs, and then I lost my eldest dog a month ago to cancer. I knew we didn’t have long with him (almost 11years) but his death sort of reset what I thought I had made progress wise. I sort of getting back to where I was before that but still battling this unknown anxiety/depression. (Plus long hauler Covid with constant nausea feeling) Still walking my other dog (with a new pup coming November) with music playing and a little weed, is right now is my happy place. Walk the dog 3-5KM a day and I feel better for doing so, and is my daily moments of Zen (even when picking up his poop) Hang in there and don’t be afraid to ask for help and I think this was a good first step in doing so.