Ask Uncle Baldrick - Advice For The Lovelorn

UncleBuck said:

so the redder the better?

please answer in the form of a limerick.

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Fuck you MOM - I DO WHAT I WANT!!!

I'm feeling like a Haiku this morning...

Never seen blood in semen,

You should go immediately to the hospital...

Your dick may be turning inside-out.


I totally didn't use the right number of syllables. I'm a BAD ASS...

UncleBuck said:

so the redder the better?

please answer in the form of a limerick.

Click to expand...

Is this a problem I see
Blood in my ejaculate and pee
Should I go see a quack
Is he gonna tell me I'm wack
Perhaps the 2 uncles just excite me!

Pinworm said:

Dr. Baldrick. I am currently making a book of sex coupons to give to a friend, but I am running out of things to put on them. Can you help with some ideas? Thanks in advance.

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there's always:
screeching seagull
when you stick your dick into the the sand the proceed to have sex with a female or male, whatever your preference, thus a very unusual hurtful sensation

The Alabama Hot Pocket: 1."the art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)"

The Flying Camel: "As your gal is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move."

angry dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

WeedFreak78 said:

there's always:
screeching seagull
when you stick your dick into the the sand the proceed to have sex with a female or male, whatever your preference, thus a very unusual hurtful sensation

The Alabama Hot Pocket: 1."the art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)"

The Flying Camel: "As your gal is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move."

angry dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

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Sorry I have been slacking on this. Had a lot of time watching our baby and deviant sex practices is a pretty big jump. I should have time to get in the mood over the weekend.

Oh, and @UncleBuck , that is the only known way to get head from a vampire.

Just bought a new bike. Pic enclosed. Will I be run off the road into a ditch by Mexican drug lords and kidnapped then sold into the sex trade? I know...too good to be true right?

dannyboy602 said:

Just bought a new bike. Pic enclosed. Will I be run off the road into a ditch by Mexican drug lords and kidnapped then sold into the sex trade? I know...too good to be true right?
View attachment 3419392

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That is so fucking hot!

Pinworm said:

That is so fucking hot!

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I bought a second helmet. Wanna go for a ride?

dannyboy602 said:

I bought a second helmet. Wanna go for a ride?

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OMFG! Are you serious? YES!

@dannyboy602 Take me home and sketch me like one of your French girls, Jack!

Lol. This place used to be pretty fucked up. Good times.

So basicly I mee this girl p a night put while I was visiting family thing is I was tldrinkkgn si ce lunchtime I rember standing out side when the bar closed looking up at tje sky after a good night out thinking I think I'll go home now then these two chick's appear beside me n I voted me out I was already hammered but screw it I felt like I'd meet my soul mate thst nite n ye we became friends n I fucken love her n dot know why I'd allspice started using meth but not there when ingot home she did nithign but fuck with my head i ended up having psychosis n went back to rehab left halfway thrue tk go be with her moved acceoss the ducking country to be with her things lasted dlike a month or two before she left me to go be with jer ex who dident believe her idk of I do tbh bit still u dkt ignore urlart er when thay think tjere in danger soen I vestsgstig needs to be doen ony part to get closer but I ended up homeless for a couple weeks n now I'm stuck in a state with no one I like being alone n stuff but I miss my family I feel like all was was some one that could fulfill her needs n that bang fuck u I'm out I dot knlw how the fuck to get over it I'm trying like fuck to look after myself barley eat processed food bee taking shillajiit n but I drink n get alcshole poisnifnalot of I jad weed to last od ne fine bit a half is only gun a last me a week iv learned alot about shit in tje last few years but I dot know where to go from here cant go to a dr tbwubdont give a fuck thay just look at everyone like tjere drug addict tbf I am one but fuck underlying conditions I really don't have any hole any more drugs don't help nutrition wo t help my brain just fucken tapped sorry to be a sokky bitch n troll of u what but I eaitjer need tk find answers or I cam go postel or I csm tey n turn all tjwt pain n just try n make people laugh n shit lol I couldn't even handle night shift cleaning mcdonalds

Just found this topic aaaaaannnnd it pretty much went like I thought it would go.......