Thing's aren't going to well

I got out of all these places MYSELF. nobody else helped me. Nobody, my own mother stopped talking to me. I came to realize that It was up to me. And I changed my whole fucking life around alright
So I appreciate the little link I do.
But I don't fucking need it.
 
Impman said:
I don't think too many of these guys have had experience with drug addiction. Smoking weed in place of MDMA is not going to help you. Doing other drugs in place of MDMA is not going to help you. You need to go to a qualified web page and find help, if you think the internet is the way to find help that is.... there are many forums in which you can type to people right now.
Get into recovery! Everyone who has given you advice on HS forum is an admitted drug user. NO one is in recovery here.
You need some god damn tough love... not congratulations and fucking internet high fives. you need real help. Again, it would be wise and responsible of RIU to provide you with a adequate link to find help/recovery. start here:
http://www.na.org/
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i definitely have experience with drug addiction and i'm sure others who have offered help here do too...why would smoking weed in place of mdma not help him? ever heard of the phrase, "the all or nothing attitude will get you no where"?? are you implying weed is harmful to his situation? i don't understand.
 
I Am Heisenberg said:
Thanks Duck! Appreciate it. And yeah I learned that the hard way lol.
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I had to as well.

I Am Heisenberg said:
And by the way I keep getting these REALLY REALLY painful brain zaps when I wake up in the morning or through out the day at sometimes.
This shit sucks any idea what the cause is or when it will go away?
Is it the Methylone or the MDMA you think
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Could be either. It's your serotonin system trying to recalibrate itself. It also happens when people come of SSRI/SNRI antidepressants. Try taking ~5-10g of L-tryptophan an hour before bedtime. It'll help alleviate those zaps and at those doses will actually help you get to sleep.
Impman said:
I don't think too many of these guys have had experience with drug addiction. Smoking weed in place of MDMA is not going to help you. Doing other drugs in place of MDMA is not going to help you. You need to go to a qualified web page and find help, if you think the internet is the way to find help that is.... there are many forums in which you can type to people right now.
Get into recovery! Everyone who has given you advice on HS forum is an admitted drug user. NO one is in recovery here.
You need some god damn tough love... not congratulations and fucking internet high fives. you need real help. Again, it would be wise and responsible of RIU to provide you with a adequate link to find help/recovery. start here:
http://www.na.org/
Click to expand...

NA is a wonderful program for some people. I would guess based on my own experience that that number is somewhere around 5-10% at most. I think my time going was useful but it was not a long term solution.
I also know the buprenorphine doctor I saw when I was trying to get off full agonists had no problem with patients smoking weed. But he was just a psychiatrist specializing in treating addiction who was a recovering alcoholic. Pot can be a gateway away from problematic substance use.

I Am Heisenberg said:
I've been to recovery before. I had an Oxycodone addiction. Now that the cat's out of the bag. Didn't help me at all, the only reason why I never touched that shit agian was because I had so much time over my head I was too fucking scared to pick it up and was tired of being in jail because that's where I spent most of my time as a teenager and a good start as when I was an adult. I have a wife to look after, a house, and a job now. Yeah I get that the internet is no place to get the right "help" but it sure beats me fucking doing some more MDMA right? Shit isn't as easy as it fucking sounds, I know how the programs work. They don't work if you don't work them. And I was in a fucking rehab for 90 days and couldn't stand it. Fucking hated it. SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I GO BACK NOW WHEN I'M A GROWN FUCKING MAN. That would just put me right back where I was almost 4-5 years ago. Miserable.

I get where your coming from. Believe me I do. I'm not new to this shit. I got out of this fucking slum before and I can get myself out again.
I dont need no fucking NA.

EDIT: I've spent hours talking about this shit with other members on this site not just one.
You think I don't know I have a problem? I fucking do, I'll deal with it in my own ways. I had EVERY ADULT I WAS IN CONTACT with telling me I was going to be in federal prison my whole life or wouldn't make it past to see 25, and my life was getting pretty fucking good up until now.
Everyone makes mistakes, everyone. I don't need you fucking bashing me.
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Don't let hate get you down man.
 
Really want to stop? Be alone in a dark room a d take 6 grams of mushroom with the intent purpose of guiding your ship of self
. Then, the next day, excercise till you drop, take a day off. Then excercise again. You haven't blown through your endorphins and that is your last bastion of feel good. The mushrooms will likely spank you for being a bad boy, if they don't, try again in a week.

oh, and while you are at it, take a moment to delight in the marvelous luck you have in not having become habituated to for more uncomfortable substances to kick.
 
MrEDuck said:
Somewhere in there I learned to respect drugs and not abuse them. Or to stay the fuck away if I couldn't.
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great advice here, i had to stay the fuck away

op you need to just loose all contact with anyone associated with your mdma ways
and settle in for the stuggle, dont replace another drug over that drug

Honestly if you pulled in many girls but you have a wife , let her divorce you

i used to be a drug addict your literally making your body fall apart on the inside dude, you need to stay away from drugs youre an addict not a sometimes user, anything you touch you get addicted too
 
sunni said:
great advice here, i had to stay the fuck away

op you need to just loose all contact with anyone associated with your mdma ways
and settle in for the stuggle, dont replace another drug over that drug

Honestly if you pulled in many girls but you have a wife , let her divorce you

i used to be a drug addict your literally making your body fall apart on the inside dude, you need to stay away from drugs youre an addict not a sometimes user, anything you touch you get addicted too
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Let my wife divorce me? Are you fucking kidding me? NO. That will never happen. She's all I got left.
I regret cheating on her. To the fullest. THE WORST decision of my life. I'm just young and made some really poor choices.
I understand what you're saying, but that will never happen, or atleast I would try my very fucking hardess to stop it.
Thanks anyways though and yeah I know I'm an addict. Been trying to hide it my whole life
 
I Am Heisenberg said:
Let my wife divorce me? Are you fucking kidding me? NO. That will never happen. She's all I got left.
I regret cheating on her. To the fullest. THE WORST decision of my life. I'm just young and made some really poor choices.
I understand what you're saying, but that will never happen, or atleast I would try my very fucking hardess to stop it.
Thanks anyways though and yeah I know I'm an addict. Been trying to hide it my whole life
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as much as we wanna think about ourselves you need to think about the emotional toll youre putting her through perhaps a seperation is in order while you restore yourself to the person you want to be for her, i suggest you get treatment, serious treatment.

Cut yourself away from anyone you cant trust yourself with. any contacts or friends who will reenforce your bad behaviour until you can trust yourself to say no and stick with it
 
Some people don't need programs or the programs don't work..
I banged meth,dope,coke,vailum,pils,molly..for several years(cept the molly,only did that once..)..I just said I've had enough,and yes I fell of the wagon(only twice..I did a few lines of coke)..but I was tired of the shit in my life..I didn't have help,in fact had a girl who wanted me to keep using..she's in jail for 10 years now for larceony of a controlled substance..guess I seen the road I was on and the 'last exit befor you get off' sign..rehab is for quitters..they quit on life..everything is in dispare and they find themselve in a room with 20 other fuck ups saying 'so theis is where no self control getsa a person'..usually the fact you go to rehab is enough to sober one up a little..the fact I knew id end up there was enough for me to quit,that and I tried to set still for an hour jabbing myself in the arm but couldn't hit the vein..that was a breaking point for me 'why am I doing this to myself? To black out for a few hours?'..hmmm...I listened to the voices in my head for once..they get ignored often...
 
rory420420 said:
Some people don't need programs or the programs don't work..
I banged meth,dope,coke,vailum,pils,molly..for several years(cept the molly,only did that once..)..I just said I've had enough,and yes I fell of the wagon(only twice..I did a few lines of coke)..but I was tired of the shit in my life..I didn't have help,in fact had a girl who wanted me to keep using..she's in jail for 10 years now for larceony of a controlled substance..guess I seen the road I was on and the 'last exit befor you get off' sign..rehab is for quitters..they quit on life..everything is in dispare and they find themselve in a room with 20 other fuck ups saying 'so theis is where no self control getsa a person'..usually the fact you go to rehab is enough to sober one up a little..the fact I knew id end up there was enough for me to quit,that and I tried to set still for an hour jabbing myself in the arm but couldn't hit the vein..that was a breaking point for me 'why am I doing this to myself? To black out for a few hours?'..hmmm...I listened to the voices in my head for once..they get ignored often...
Click to expand...

treatment could mean either by yourself or actual treatment.
not everyone can just go cold turkey. i did , but not everyone can
 
depression and all the bad shit u feel is just part of the withdrawal. the mental withdrawal. the longer
you go living normal the more normal u will feel. u said u had an Oxy habit and u kicked it and are fighting this MDMA?
suprising man. Oxy is serious physical and mental withdrawal. if u kicked it then u know time is the best healer.
and a counselor/physciatrist is great for confiding it and getting shit off ur chest.. and if your ashamed or whatever about it dont tell anyone your going. its only for
u any ways right>? fuck em. talking to a non bias person you dont know is really helpful for some reason lol
 
Treatment works for some people some times. I found that I had a long commute every day for my company to continue to grow and my family to propser. I had given up most drugs but fell for meth as a way to continue to do everything I had to do every day. More interestingly, a lot of people owed me money and most of them could pay in meth. So I started out by telling my wife every time I intended to take it. That went on until I started taking it every day. One Christmas day, I woke up and realized that even on a day in which I had no obligations I couldn't get through it without a line. I proceeded to dump my half oz of crank down the toilet. Except that I couldn't quite manage that. I checked gave the bag to my wife, moved into a motel and checked into rehab. At rehab they told me that I would have to give up drinkinig as well. I have a penchant - When I make an agreement with someone, I keep it if at all possible. My agreement with the rehab place was that I wanted to get better, and I would have to do what ever they said to do to make that happen. They were the experts so I did as they said.

I also bet that I could show everyone that alcohol was not my problem. So I quit, that day, for 5 years, after my 6 month token, I quit going to AA, for me it was stupid, I simply never had a problem drinking.

As far as the meth was concerned? I ate skittles by the pound, chasing it with quarts of Coke.

But many of the folks here have the right idea - you are going to have to give up all of the friends you have who have access to X. Most of them aren't really your friends anyway. The ones who are won't give you any more.

And the second thing, I have talked about before is being lazy. BE LAZY. The hardest part of giving something up is access, and the second is modifying your behaivor - the lazier you are about your drug of choice the easier it is. "Hey DUDE! I got the purest X you can imagine here, it's just five miles away". Lazy will tell you that it is just too far out of your way and too much out of your day. And if you are REALLY crazy - think about going, but only if you don't take your car - walk, better yet, run.


Anyway, that was what worked for me and I believe I've purposefully had meth once afterward, after 20 years thereabouts.


The other thing is - once you start stopping, don't stop stopping but figure that you might fail. Cigarettes had me more than anything else in the world - 26 year 2 pack a day smoker. Two weeks after I quit my wife filed for divorce. I would NOT let that stop me from stopping. I timed my cravings and found that they lasted 7 minutes. I really only had to hold out for 7 minutes. Oh that craving might come back in another 10 but I knew I only had to last 7.

Might work for you as well.

Time them and see.
 
don't know about the mdma addiction but i was a heroin addict for 12 years before i got clean for real and i will say it always seemed to me when i had any prolonged period of sobriety up untill about the six month mark i would be a constant ebb and flow of emotion. Cry for no reason happy one minute, absolute lows the next, but the worst was the energy part which 3 years in and i still don't have the same pep i used to.
Could be age though, or the 8 years in prison, maybe just the scars of life in general we all have...
All i can say is this, things do get better with time. Sometimes i fealt like it wasn't getting better so why should i live what i deemed a boring existence if i wasn't seeing an improvement.
I stuck it out and looking back can clearly see my progression over time.
Hang in there brother. addiction is a motherfucker but it is still a choice to use, i dont buy the disease theory. Humans are amazing in that we can adapt and survive almost anything...so do it man adapt survive and keep it moving.
 
canndo said:
The other thing is - once you start stopping, don't stop stopping but figure that you might fail. Cigarettes had me more than anything else in the world - 26 year 2 pack a day smoker. Two weeks after I quit my wife filed for divorce. I would NOT let that stop me from stopping. I timed my cravings and found that they lasted 7 minutes. I really only had to hold out for 7 minutes. Oh that craving might come back in another 10 but I knew I only had to last 7.
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That's genius, I was wondering if you could expand on that at all? What were those 7 minutes like? My dad has been smoking 1-2 packs a day since he was 13 (now 58 ), I feel like cancer, or worse, is right around the corner for him..
 
The 7 minutes were a sliver of hell, if I could spend them posting online(my misery is forever recorded online) or doing something, they would pass but I clung to that number and it worked. Time the craving and take splice in it. You don't ha e to hold out forever ar a month or a day, only 7 minutes, only 7 and then it is over.
 
When I was getting off SSRI's (after years of use) I found weed helped me out quite a bit with some of the weirdness that accompanied. Not sure it would work the same with MDMA but perhaps? Either way bro, you need to stop. Just outright stop.
 
OGEvilgenius said:
When I was getting off SSRI's (after years of use) I found weed helped me out quite a bit with some of the weirdness that accompanied. Not sure it would work the same with MDMA but perhaps? Either way bro, you need to stop. Just outright stop.
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I found pot helpful as well kicking an SSRI. And I agree completely that he needs to not touch MDMA for a LONG time. I did 5 years personally. After another 5 of using it once or twice a year I finally have a baseline tolerance.
 
Might work for him..I realized mdma doesn't work anymore for me..I took the break for years..still don't work...I'm sad about this,but,I did it to myself...
 
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