Nice thread pad.
At this moment I'm having a serious brain fart and I can't really remember my journey. I will give what I can remember though.
1994-2001: Happy as can be. No influence of religion or didn't have to think hard to be happy. There was no logic thoughts and there were no illogical thoughts. I just lived in the now.
2001-2002: I remember having an amazing dog that was my friend. I loved that dog and played with him all the time. I don't remember his cause of death but I remember feeling grief. My father told me he went to "doggy heaven. I was so gullible. I didn't question what he told me since it made me feel alot of joy that his death was a good thing. Faith was born.
2002-2006: I would visit my grandma alot and every once in a while she would take me to church. She has a thick spanish heritage and understands spanish the best. Needless to say, the church she took to me had a spanish speaking preacher. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. My grandma would translate the basics for me. God loves you so be good. Don't kill, steal, or be bad. No questioning from me since it wasn't neccessary.
2009: For some reason I catch on to conspriacies and get more interested in those than my "religion" (which I still haven't looked into). I start researching the illuminati, the mayans prophecy, and all that crap. While watching youtube videos, I would watch related videos on religions and how god would stop all these people. I got deep into conspiracies and UFOs which lead me to believe the world was evil and god was the only way to justice. I start researching more about religion and my faith builds a new strength. My faith is the strongest it's ever been at this point.
Through my HS years, I mentioned religion to some of my friends and it turns out most of them were atheists. They wouldn't mess with me or anything. They just said they were atheist and dropped the subject. Nuetral subject with them.
2010: I actually start thinking. I don't want to. I converse with different people on the subject. Friends tell me it's ok not to have a religion. My dad tells me he doesn't think I should question it. I was too scared to ask my grandma since I know she would just be pissed. I pretty much kept my thoughts to myself. "oh well.. I just need to keep my faith strong. Everything will be fine if I trust in god".
2011: I forgot the the name of the "prophecy" but he had thousands of followers. His group started spreading the word that the end of the world is close. "Holy fucking shit!!!! This can't be true!!". I start thinking I'm gonna go to hell for all my bad deeds. I started drinnking and singing bob marley songs in the backyard. Weird.. I "feel" that memory. Gloomy times but I feel like I learned something important. I remember filling a water bottle full of whiskey and walking in the streets at night. One night I called my mom while crying at told her that I don't want to go to hell and that I love her (lol.. calling people while drunk is funny). She tells me not to worry about it and the end of the world isn't coming soon.
I don't believe her though. I ask god for forgiveness and build up my faith. My faith is still strong.
2011 (later): It turns out that dipshit was wrong. I wake up and the world is the same. I realize I was so stupid. How could I fall for something as stupid? I start thinking seriously about my other beliefs. They all seem kind of crazy. But I don't want to think about it because it's a sin. I remember lashing out at a few skeptics here at this point in time who told me my beliefs were crazy. I hear other points from different people.. Alot of people tried to tell me the truth but I'd close my ears and yell "my faith is all I need" (metaphorically of course). I was ignoring the truth. I felt bad for questioning my faith. It was the start of the breakdown.
2011-2012: I gain alot of wisdom and views on life. I realize my beliefs are kind of crazy and I start finding it harder and harder to believe in them. I go through suicidal tendencies. Not being melodramatic. But I like for things to have a point. "what's the point of life if there is no god" I would ask myself. "there is no point.. no point in anything" blah blah depression.
2012: Not too long ago I bounce back from my depression. I feel new and good. I don't need religion any longer and thinking logically comes naturally (well in most cases). I haven't thought of my previous beliefs in conspiracies in a while. I can't believe I actually believed in that stuff.
Some of the years might be off but that's pretty much how it went down.
