The Real Peter Parker's Story-Telling Thread

The Real Peter Parker

Well-Known Member
There are rules to post in this thread.

1. You may not post unless you have a story.

2. You should state whether your story is fictional or truth.

3. You can respond to other's stories, without adding your own story, if you have already submitted a story.

Anyways, this is my story.

On Saturday my roommate and I decided we wanted a cat, so on Sunday we did what we could to find one. We found one, that came with everything, and it was free, but it was already taken. We went to a pet store and they referred us to the Humane Society. When we went there they had a 35 dollar adoption fee and all the cats were hacking, so we told them this is disgusting and left.

But, when we looked in the newspaper for a town over, it's about 30 miles away, we found the ad that we wanted. When I called an old lady answered and I told her I was interested in a cat and wanted to know what her asking price was [Since the ad said "Not FREE"] Her voice gets all low and evil she says "You got a snake boy?" and I say what? she says "Do you have a snake you ornery nincompoop?" I say no, I was calling you about the kitten, she says "You gonna feed it to your boa constrictor?" [at this point I think I'm the butt of some MTV joke or something]

But anyways the end of that conversation was that I explained to her that I wanted the cat as a pet, and she agreed to let me come take a look at them and pick one, for free. So we get over there, it's an old lady on a cane and an old man on an oxygen tank and they have a really nice place out in the country 2 new cars, a classic Jeep, work trucks, these people were loaded anyways.

When we went inside the house with them and talked about the cats with them, I had picked the female one because I was under the impression they are more likely to not spray their piss everywhere, [and also it had short hair, which means their shit doesn't leave the litterbox with them] but when I told my friend [who was acting as my roommate, who was really at work] and his girlfriend I liked the dark colored one, the old lady says in the goofiest old-lady voice, "It's got a BLACK TWAT."

Well it did have a black twat, but nobody else commented on it. Anyways the old lady gave us a rattling mouse toy and a lot of food, and she was really nice for being a little goofy, and I spent better than $20 on all this stuff I bought for the cat and my roommate also bought some shit, so it's all cool, Lucy [Sky Diamond], the college party cat.

Hopefully you enjoyed that story, as I enjoyed living it. That was a factual story.
 

partyreefer

Active Member
ill bite...

I fucked up; HARD this year. Heres one of many stories that used the majority of my luck...

BTW: 100% factual
I drive a muscle car, i like to drive fast... I had 2 girls in the car (actual females not plants -.-) and about 2 zips of some nice nice in the middle console... anyways. i'm doin about 90-95mph on route 38. when a ricemobile flys by me and blows a yellow, me being the jackass i am slams on the gas and gets up to about 100 and blows a SOLID red. About ten seconds later theres the piggelton right behind me flashin his shit in my eyes and whatnot... So i pull over into a mini strip mall type parking lot and he walks up and as soon as my window rolls down he says "Anything i need to worry about in this car?"(sometime during this conversation he smelled the area my window would usually occupy and about 3 feet back, im positive; by the look on his face he smelled it both times) obviously my reply was "no sir" but to that i got a death stare and "not even a little marijuana?" and with the straightest face possible i looked him dead in the eyes and said "there is absolutely nothing you need to worry about in this vehicle officer." the SECOND i say that he goes on his breaker and calls something in, then he takes my license and registration and as soon as he turns around a second cop pulls in and shines his shit in my goddamn eyes too (real quick... who else FUCKING HATES that light on the side of the cop car...) and the 2 officers get to talking and i turn to the 2 girls im with and say "i guarantee there gunna say there bringing k nine... DONT freak, hes gunna say theres a chance u can get bit and bla bla bla, just let me do the talking and disreguard anything he says". the second cop who just came into the lot gets out too and they both walk over....... then i came up with what might be the best excuse ever... I told the cop i have too many points and i commute to college and if i get another point i lose my license and my parents will kill me and bla bla bla (i was a senior in HS at the time) so he comes back 2 minutes later and points to my empty windshield and says see that radar detector there? (i dont own a radar detector...) thats obstruction of view, now have a nice day son and that was it... it might not seem like alot to you but let me reidderate... i had 2 ounces of banger all bagged up in .8s so for those who dont have the same hobby as me, thats 70 bags. and i was doing 95+ in a 45. AND i blew a full red light. and all i got was an obstruction of view... LESSON LEARNED
DONT ADMIT A GODDAMN THING TO ANY COP EVER> ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU; ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU SAY CAN HELP YOU. EVEN IF YOU PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE IT WILL BE DISREGUARDED IN COURT. ONCE AGAIN... ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU. (nothing can be used for you...) so SHADDAP! lawyer up! and admit nothing -.-
 

Kodank Moment

Well-Known Member
Ha well this is %100 truth.

So I was at a party with an ex-girlfriend...which was a bad idea in the first place. Never take an ex anywhere. Ever. So we left a hockey game and I was like "hey, instead of goin home..you wanna come to this party?" she says sure and we arrive. Well I was under the impression I was going to be taking her home very early in the morning from the party so I wasn't trying to get hammered. So I drank lightly and kind of just wondered around the party and watched some kid on ecstacy and cough syrup touch a car washing glove (the big yellow fluffy ones) to his face and listen to techno. He seemed to be enjoying his night. While looking for a bathroom I also stumbled into a room where someone was vomiting everywhere. It was fucking disgusting. So time passes and the party starts to mellow out. It's like 2 a.m. and there is nowhere to sleep. Couches and beds had been taken. I came prepared and had a blanket and a pillow in my trunk. Fuck a DUI. So me and the ex crashed in the car. I was about passed out when she told me she was on the rag and needed some water and asprin and was going inside. Well it turns out she went inside and started using peoples cell phones to call one of her friends to come get her. Well my friend calls me at like 3 a.m. and informs me of this so I come inside and find out whats going on. She says she is just gonna have her friend get her cause she wants to leave..so I was like cool now I dont have to drop your ass off. Friend shows up...some big blonde bitch. Like 5'10" 170lbs...and just starts acting like her stink don't shit. She was almost 21 I think and for some reason thought everyone was a fag or a bitch etc..so her shitty attitude attracted the host of the party...he found out I knew the girl who knew the big bitch so I was to do the talking. So I said "hey, get the fuck out. I was told you need to leave, so get your friend and go" Well that pissed her off and she storms downstairs in search of my ex. Well she comes back upstairs with the ex in tow and they are both switched into bitch mode. The ex starts yelling about me being a dick and the big girl is talking shit. So I just said "hey, get your shit. Get the fuck out. Kick rocks bitch" well she kept yelling and so I said "Listen cunt, get the fuck out or we can escort your out. Doors that way" Well at this time I was drinking a glass of water and standing in a corner between the breakfast bar and slider door. Well I guess the c-word sent the big girl into over drive because about 2 seconds after I set my water down I got blasted in my teeth by the bitches fist. So I pushed her back and yelled some bullshit before I got jacked again in the teeth. This time I yelled stop bitch but got hit again. Pushed her back and saw her coming for shot number 4...so I cocked back and leveled her ass. Didn't ko her..made her stumble a lot and fall on her ass...which then prompted my buddy to inform her that she just got laid the fuck out. Well the host bounces everyone from his house. I got out to leave in my car and the chick has her car backed up ass end to my ass end and she starts her shit as im walking out and backs into my car...then for the next few days people harrased my cell phone.

First and only time I have ever hit a woman. Still feel kind of bad. But she deserved what she got.
 

The Real Peter Parker

Well-Known Member
As soon as I get hit all bets are off. Despite Spiderman's docile appearance, there is rage I don't know about that I tap into at weird times. Besides, I hate bitches, there's some type of a double standard or what? Women want equal rights, but only if that includes that in court their side is taken, only if they can hit men but men cannot hit back. I'm for equal rights, in a correct way, but not the way it is now... We may have to revert back to Bible times, the woman listens to the man, the man tells his wife how to act, and she puts up and shuts up.
 

g00sEgg

Well-Known Member
Mmmk. I'm lame? You, my sir, are the one with the spider-man avatar. I was just pointing at the fact more people might actually enjoy this thread if they didn't have to tell a story just to be able to comment on others'.
 

g00sEgg

Well-Known Member
I never flamed you...you were the onee that came at me. I just suggested something. Quit being a baby...plz.
 

VansStoner1748

Well-Known Member
My first stoned story....be nice


This is a very short story about a young boy named timmy housanfouzer. Little 7 year old timmy only wanted the best in life. Cool cars,finest candy, and the hottest 10 year olds around. Oh yeah and a kawi green 636. He wanted that 636 so damn bad. He talked about it all the time. He even dreamed 3-5 times a week about having that beast between his legs. One time he even got the chance to sit on one and make her roar. Boy it was great. But timmy Didnt know how to get one. He thought if he could just sell the neighbor hood kids some of his friends candy he could make some profit. He began to sell candy by the gram. After about two weeks he was selling an ounce candy a day, Only making about 40$ an oz. Cause he did have to pay his friends for giving him the candy. After he had enough money to buy his own oz of candy thats just what he did. Now he can keep all the profit from pushin weed. After a month he had nearly 2 grand saved up and after another month he was ready to buy it.


Finally it was the day. He would go to the dealership and buy his dream in full. But first he had to run by his best friends and sell him a QP of candy as he promised him the day before. Right when timmy knocked on his friends door He knew it was a sting. Almost 20 6th graders rushed him. Threw him down and told him he was going down. Timmy got 3 hours in the pin(One of the 6th graders garages). Once he was out he still had his money waiting for him. He went to his local motorcycle dealership and purchased a 2005 636, Of course in kawi green. Was it worth being Burned by his best friend,Throw in the pin,and Waisting 3 hours of his life. Fuck yeah it was.
 

g00sEgg

Well-Known Member
So quick to make rules and you've only been here a month. How old are you, damn.

We really need a better way of weeding out the youngins.
 

The Real Peter Parker

Well-Known Member
So quick to make rules and you've only been here a month. How old are you, damn.

We really need a better way of weeding out the youngins.
The deal is I was on grasscity.com since Dec 2006, then I made a comment about homosexuals and became banned. Now if I figure out a way to ignore people, and not have to view their posts, I will be done dealing with you.

On your inquiry of my age, I am 19, a freshman at a college in Kansas, United States.
 
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