The guinea pig thread. I'm donating my body to the science of passing drug tests.

AnthonyAlmighty

AnthonyAlmighty

Member
Being a cynic by nature, I have a very hard time taking someone else's word that a particular product works. I am especially cynical with something as important as passing a drug test.

I very recently was offered a very good job with a company that is respected in my industry. I decided I couldn't chance popping a drug test, so I set about trying to find products that would help me pass a urine test. I found a home test kit that was very affordable and boasted a 98% accuracy rating, and I ordered 10 of them. I then went to the head shop and asked the guy behind the counter what would get me clean, without any doubts.

He suggested a particular brand/product, I bought 4 of them and headed home. As I was driving, I started to get a little paranoid that maybe what I bought wouldn't work... then what? So I went online and bought a "Never Fail" kit, that offered a 200% money back guarantee and 99.995% pass rate.

I'm dedicating this thread to the results of my own tests. I'm 5'11, 205 lbs, and sort of "corn fed." Thick but not fat. I smoke daily and mostly just the high end stuff.

The Test
Purchased from detoks.com
http://www.detoks.com/detox-testing-devices-c189/2723.html


The Control
The first thing I did was a "control" test. I stopped smoking when I found out I was having a drug test, and it's been roughly 3 days. I haven't been working out or drinking a shit-ton of water. I haven't changed anything really.

As expected the control showed a positive reading for THC in my urine. So, I know that the test strips work!

Detoxify Brand XXTra Clean
https://detoxify.com/xxtra-clean-sour-apple-flavor.html

This is the stuff that the guy at the head shop told me to buy. A little digging online yielded the concoction is actually a masking agent, and not a detoxifier. This could be an issue if the sample is sent to a lab and they specifically test for masking agents.

I drank the full bottle, waited 15 minutes, filled the bottle with water and drank that too. I then waited for 1 hour while sipping on a second round of water casually. At the end of the hour, I pissed on the stick.

Negative! The home test kit came back as negative, but it wasn't a convincing negative. I have pictures of the product and the test strip I am working to get online, and I will post them here.

Next Steps
The "Never Fail" kit will be delivered tomorrow. I ordered 2 of them, so I will run another control, which should show a positive result for THC, and then I will run through the instructions for the kit and post the results.

If this thread is well received, I'm hoping to test multiple products and "get clean now" techniques and post the first-hand results of the tests here for everyone else to read and digest.
 
Amine

Amine

Active Member
I'll be curious to see what works for you and what doesn't, being a fellow 5'11"-er
 
AnthonyAlmighty

AnthonyAlmighty

Member
Sure it does. It gives you insight into BMI. If I was 6'5 205, I would be much, much leaner. :)

Considering that THC metabolites attach themselves to fat cells, which are then stored in your body, it also gives you an idea of how potent a particular product will be... hopefully.

Someone that is 6'0 180lbs will store less THC metabolites.

Johnny Retro said:
Does your height really matter?
Click to expand...
 
B

Benassi

Guest
I've done my homework before I used a product to help me pass... for three different jobs. Smoked everyday and was high AT the urine test. Product called QuickFix. Synthetic urine that works every time. Always a different color hue, $20, read the VERY simply easy instructions, tape it to your side crotch and piss it away into the cup. Works every time for me as well as two of my buddies who'm I've referred to it.
 
AnthonyAlmighty

AnthonyAlmighty

Member
So, leaving nothing to chance, I actually sweet talked the receptionist into telling me which testing facility they were going to use. I then called and said my company was interested in sending candidates there for drug testing, but I wanted to know the procedures used at the facility.

They frisk. I don't think taping/bringing anything in is possible. I do have someone that owes me a solid, and he's agreed to give me a sample--he's a straight arrow sort of dude, but I'm still left with the challenge of actually bringing the sample into the collection room without being scoped.

Suggestions?

Benassi said:
I've done my homework before I used a product to help me pass... for three different jobs. Smoked everyday and was high AT the urine test. Product called QuickFix. Synthetic urine that works every time. Always a different color hue, $20, read the VERY simply easy instructions, tape it to your side crotch and piss it away into the cup. Works every time for me as well as two of my buddies who'm I've referred to it.
Click to expand...
 
B

Benassi

Guest
It's the size of a small flask, unless your balls are the size of grapes, they won't feel it. ;) But that sucks regardless, it is risky.
Go for "The Whizzinator"... sleek strap-on with different colored dicks with a built in bladder and the dicks pee. So you could piss in front of the president and he wouldn't know.

One more for the road... dicks! :lol:
 
bigtomatofarmer

bigtomatofarmer

Well-Known Member
Im very interested in your thread.

To be honest, I always use dehydrated urine with the whizinator, as I do not trust the detox drinks.
Hopefully, with your tests, you can instill some trust in me with those drinks.

Also, if I may make a suggestion. When I go for an interview they always send me to a clinic for the drug test. And sometimes the clinic will send it off to the laboratory as a double check. So anyways, my suggestion is to go to a clinic and have them send your urine to the lab. Thats the only real way to be sure. As the clinic will surely have top notch testing equipment.

Good luck on your journey.....
 
bigtomatofarmer

bigtomatofarmer

Well-Known Member
Ahh damn, We posted about the same time, I didnt see your last post when I posted.

Thats weird that they would frisk you. They've told me to empty my pockets, but they never touch or frisk me
 
AnthonyAlmighty

AnthonyAlmighty

Member
I'm certain it's not a penitentiary style rub-down, but regardless, it's a risk.

That being said, I'm going to go to the head shop tomorrow and check out the size of the synthetic bottles. If they are small enough to tape to my taint, I'm in business.

bigtomatofarmer said:
Ahh damn, We posted about the same time, I didnt see your last post when I posted.

Thats weird that they would frisk you. They've told me to empty my pockets, but they never touch or frisk me
Click to expand...
 
B

Benassi

Guest
Well you only need a certain amount of piss for them to use. It's like, 1/4 of this little vial. Tiny amount. I'd look around for containers you can transfer the product into. But, because they test for Temperature you need to make room for the tiny heat pad they give you.
 
bigtomatofarmer

bigtomatofarmer

Well-Known Member
AnthonyAlmighty said:
I'm certain it's not a penitentiary style rub-down, but regardless, it's a risk.

That being said, I'm going to go to the head shop tomorrow and check out the size of the synthetic bottles. If they are small enough to tape to my taint, I'm in business.
Click to expand...
you also need a heating pad.

but beware of the heating pads that reach a max temp of 145 degrees f. they are too hot. and yes they do check the tempature imediatley after they take the sample

you can find reptile shipping heating pads that are the perfect tempature for what you need.

good luck bro, I say make an appointment with the clinic and do a trial run. before the job sends you
 
AnthonyAlmighty

AnthonyAlmighty

Member
Quick little internet search reveals synthetics with a heat strip on the side of the bottle... regardless, I'm investigating all options. I can't afford to pop this test--this job is a once in a lifetime opportunity type thing.

Benassi said:
Well you only need a certain amount of piss for them to use. It's like, 1/4 of this little vial. Tiny amount. I'd look around for containers you can transfer the product into. But, because they test for Temperature you need to make room for the tiny heat pad they give you.
Click to expand...
 
Mr.Therapy Man

Mr.Therapy Man

Well-Known Member
whizzanator is the only way, all that other shit you just made a large donation to your headshop.I figured out why our local headshop guy has not had the hell beat out of him.Everybody he sales that shit to goes to jail and when they get out they cant touch him or they will go right back.Trust me I am a pain clinic patient and get pissed ever three months.I really learned the ropes when lost my pain doctor and had to go to the methadone clinic for a year.That synthetic dont work either,it shows up on the adulturant strip,so do those drinks.I see peoples parole violated on those drinks,only way is to stop or sub urine
 
Mr.Therapy Man

Mr.Therapy Man

Well-Known Member
Mr.Therapy Man said:
whizzanator is the only way, all that other shit you just made a large donation to your headshop.I figured out why our local headshop guy has not had the hell beat out of him.Everybody he sales that shit to goes to jail and when they get out they cant touch him or they will go right back.Trust me I am a pain clinic patient and get pissed ever three months.I really learned the ropes when lost my pain doctor and had to go to the methadone clinic for a year.That synthetic dont work either,it shows up on the adulturant strip,so do those drinks.I see peoples parole violated on those drinks,only way is to stop or sub urine
Click to expand...
I know its hard to find somebody who doesn't smoke or are on BIG PHARMA's shit. Here is some info about the adulterant strip.http://www.medicaldisposables.us/product.php?productid=45&cat=0&page=1
P.S dirrerent website's say dirrerent shit. Most say if you have a Urinary track infection it will show up under nitrates
Whizzinator is no longer being sold buy puck technology. It's now being sold under Alternative Lifestyle Systems. It's being sold as a sex toy for a golden shower.. I bought mine last year right after they raided puck and spectrum labs. I haven't checked the local headshops . I hate to say this to all you stoners out there who need one for P.O. and work but I hope you can't get them from the local headshops If the only place you can find them is off of a dildo site. Maybe it'll lesson the suspicion on me
 
AnthonyAlmighty

AnthonyAlmighty

Member
Well, I went in for a simple drug test through Lab Corp, and I passed the test. I used a combination of synthetic and natural urine. I bought a "never fail" kit online and followed the instructions. Right before I went in for the test, I checked using one of the test kits I purchased online, and it said my urine would pass, but I didn't want to chance it.

I filled the cup about half way to the line with synthetic and then topped it off with my own. Smart? Dumb? I couldn't tell you, but after doing a little investigation on the Labcorp process that was ordered in, I knew they would only send the sample off to the lab for scrutiny IF the initial 10-drug screen was inconclusive or positive.

I got the results from the lab two days later, and everything is kosher! I start work on the 24th.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top