Anyone always have suicidal thoughts?

[Southernontariogrower]

Listen to Harry, he is being totally truthful. Even leaving a message to someone can help, an ear is not always going to be needed after you get things figured out. Hang in and dont dwell on what is haunting you. Please try to focus on something positive. Ive just came through an aweful few weeks and never thought of suicide once, cried alot but the thoughts seem to be past tense after years of coming to terms with them. But for twenty years plus l had those thoughts several times a day, l believe that there is a spiritual realm and we can be affected by it. Even your location can have negetive effects on a sensitive person, welcome to humanity my friend. Shroomhaze l bet your one of the nicest people out there. We all carry shit. Dont let yours control you, you control that urge. Master it mf. Be safe J

 

[quirk]

If you're young, seek help. I know I will end my own life. But only when I can't take care of myself or develop a terminal or debilitating illness. At 73, I figure I've got another 15 years of an active life. Time will tell. Already have it planned out. You know what they say about a parachute. You only need one if you're going to jump more than once.

 

[shroomhaze]

Listen to Harry, he is being totally truthful. Even leaving a message to someone can help, an ear is not always going to be needed after you get things figured out. Hang in and dont dwell on what is haunting you. Please try to focus on something positive. Ive just came through an aweful few weeks and never thought of suicide once, cried alot but the thoughts seem to be past tense after years of coming to terms with them. But for twenty years plus l had those thoughts several times a day, l believe that there is a spiritual realm and we can be affected by it. Even your location can have negetive effects on a sensitive person, welcome to humanity my friend. Shroomhaze l bet your one of the nicest people out there. We all carry shit. Dont let yours control you, you control that urge. Master it mf. Be safe J

thank you for your message friend really touched me. I have been doing a lot better lately focusing on the moment and keeping a positive look for myself while working for a better one ahead.

 

[trichoneum]

I don't envy you shroomhaze. I'm glad you're doing better, I think your situation is a little different to a lot of people due to the geopolitical aspect. It must be awful to be powerless. I watched the Arab Spring uprisings with sadness and dread. We all knew how it would end. Tunisia, where the spark was struck, seems the only country to be even marginally better off. What has happened in Egypt makes me want to cry. Lets not even start on the rest! Everyone is entitled to dwala, surely?
I am pleased you are better day to day. I would advise living in the moment but I also wonder if you can get across a frontier? Do you think a geographical cure may be the answer? I also most respectfully ask whether your depression/suicidal ideation is a reaction to your country's troubles and the changes it has brought you personally, be completely rational if it was, rather than for no logical reason you are aware of; ie were you undergoing a normal human reaction and now are adjusting?
Would you be safe if you or your mental health status became known to authorities?
Questions! I'm sorry, your situation interests me very much and I feel for you deeply. I am also sure that joining the endless stream of refugees in the world is highly undesirable and perhaps to many preferable only to humiliation and death.

 

[shroomhaze]

I don't envy you shroomhaze. I'm glad you're doing better, I think your situation is a little different to a lot of people due to the geopolitical aspect. It must be awful to be powerless. I watched the Arab Spring uprisings with sadness and dread. We all knew how it would end. Tunisia, where the spark was struck, seems the only country to be even marginally better off. What has happened in Egypt makes me want to cry. Lets not even start on the rest! Everyone is entitled to dwala, surely?
I am pleased you are better day to day. I would advise living in the moment but I also wonder if you can get across a frontier? Do you think a geographical cure may be the answer? I also most respectfully ask whether your depression/suicidal ideation is a reaction to your country's troubles and the changes it has brought you personally, be completely rational if it was, rather than for no logical reason you are aware of; ie were you undergoing a normal human reaction and now are adjusting?
Would you be safe if you or your mental health status became known to authorities?
Questions! I'm sorry, your situation interests me very much and I feel for you deeply. I am also sure that joining the endless stream of refugees in the world is highly undesirable and perhaps to many preferable only to humiliation and death.

Hey man, you are on point about where my depression comes from. The state of my country and how it affects me every day is really stresfull. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to find a way out of this country but no luck so far. I am trying to let go and just stay in present and try to appreciate things I have, it can be hard sometimes tho because my passion for marijuana in this country puts me at risk of losing the little freedom I have. I don't even know if keeping my passion is worth it anymore and thought about not being near any drug for a long time. But I can't change that part of me, I have tried so hard but I just can't. I have dreams and ambitions, they cause suffering to me. I see beauty in life every day but have to be in a place of suffering every day, it's just really difficult. Me and my girlfriend think we will go through these awful times and hopefully move out of the country where I can work with what I love. If my mental state was known where I'm from no one would do anything, where I'm from mental health is not seen as something real. I don't mind tbh because no one understands where I'm coming from, only a select few people do. I don't think I have chronic depression im just severely disturbed by where I stand atm, I do not like being a mere robot, putting a fake mask for everyone I see and talk to. My family does not care for who I am they want me to be just like them and listen to the government, they don't want me to have my dreams and live my own life. So they go out of their way to make my life harder because I tell them I won't just give up on who I am. Things like that are so common where I'm from, people work for hours on end all their life. They don't like their jobs no one does here! No one actually can follow their dreams unless they are rich af, and that is rare unless you are stealing money with the government. I am unsatisfied with the state of the world but being in one of the worst is even more disturbing to me. Although I count my self lucky because there are worse countries with a lower standard of life, ours is not exactly like that. I am grateful to have a roof over my head, have warm water all the time, have internet. It's just so hard to not be who you truly are, because who I am disturbs my family, and the government. I know for a fact my family will call the cops on me to put me behind bars. Its just fucking disturbing
I do want to refuge to US, Canada, Aus just somewhere where I can have a tiny amount of freedom in my own little world is what I desire deeply. But countries don't just accept people in their country with open arms, its very difficult to earn the right to be there.

 

[Autofire]

You need to take ownership of yourself mate. Don't let outside events control how you feel about yourself and others. The worst thing you can do is say all these things are going on around me and making me feel bad. Nothing is making you feel anything. Your state of being is 100 percent your own choice. Seriously your life ain't that hard, you gotta remember that there are people living in tin huts on some of the poorest countries in the world who go to bed with an empty belly and still wake up and smile.

Don't fool yourself into a state of mind where things outside of your control are deciding who you are. You are not sad because of the things that are happening you are sad because because you allow yourself to be controlled by the things that are happening.

You should consider cutting right down on weed too. It's probably not doing you any favours

If you step up and take ownership of yourself you will begin a healthy life.

Love to you brother

 

[MoroccanRoll]

Hey Shroomhaze, thanks for posting and puttin this out there. Just posting this shows some serious balls (yeah, i don't know if shroomhaze is male or female but, honestly, i've met some chicks with serious balls). Suicide as a solution? Yeah, i think lots of us have been there at one point or another in our lives. What does it really solve? Not much. It may end our pain but there are better ways to do that,

How can we all be part of the solution? Our contribution doesn't have to be grand. Making a small contibution to the greater good is more than most people achieve in a lifetime. How can you contribute? A personal contribution can be as simple as trying to reduce your own waste stream. Use less. Another contibution to the world is as simple as a smile or a kind word . You will be amazed at the impact you can have on the world around you.

Don't give up. You are the solution.

 

[Gundi6969]

The question is weird I know but I always consider suicide as an option. This may sound depressing for people but I am really not suicidal anymore. But I never stopped considering suicide as an option. Im going through probably the hardest times I have ever been through and there is a chance it is in fact going to keep getting worse, I dont know what future will bring so I dont think about it most days and try to stay in the present. But I know I might get stuck in a place in my life with no way out soon and when that happens I might just say fuck it and hope for the best about what will happen after death. This comes from a place where a person has lost their freedom to do almost anything in life, his choices in life has become very narrow in a third world country and might just keep loosing more and become just a slave. I dont why I put this here I guess a little weird to put on a cannabis forum lmao

See there is always a way out.
For up. There is down.
For yes. There is No.
Light.Dark
In.Out
Stuck.....Release.
Let go. If it is guilt. Go to a mountain top and scream out your apologies.
If it is sadness.
Write it down burn, if necessary, and say it out loud.
There is always a way out and a feeling is just a feeling if u ride it out from start to finish. It gets easier. I used to not be able to talk about my childhood abuse but when I began to just let the memory happen and when it played out a few hundred times or so that initial sting in the throat. Well, it wasn't as bad. And now its just like. Damn. They was some fkd up ppl around me. But I made it and you will too.

 

[Gundi6969]

I feel you, it is a terrible thought that can feel like it never goes away.

It sounds simple, but I've come to realize that helping others subsides the thoughts. It takes my mind off being down about myself and seeing a light that brings joy to others.

Another trick if my mind can't adjust off of depressive thoughts is cleaning. Only if it is one room or just vacuuming or something that makes my place look nicer, it helps ease the feeling.

awesome advice. I was just reading an article that said a messy living space contributes to depression.

 

[Gundi6969]

You need to take ownership of yourself mate. Don't let outside events control how you feel about yourself and others. The worst thing you can do is say all these things are going on around me and making me feel bad. Nothing is making you feel anything. Your state of being is 100 percent your own choice. Seriously your life ain't that hard, you gotta remember that there are people living in tin huts on some of the poorest countries in the world who go to bed with an empty belly and still wake up and smile.

Don't fool yourself into a state of mind where things outside of your control are deciding who you are. You are not sad because of the things that are happening you are sad because because you allow yourself to be controlled by the things that are happening.

You should consider cutting right down on weed too. It's probably not doing you any favours

If you step up and take ownership of yourself you will begin a healthy life.

Love to you brother

 

[trichoneum]

Hey man, you are on point about where my depression comes from. The state of my country and how it affects me every day is really stresfull. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to find a way out of this country but no luck so far. I am trying to let go and just stay in present and try to appreciate things I have, it can be hard sometimes tho because my passion for marijuana in this country puts me at risk of losing the little freedom I have. I don't even know if keeping my passion is worth it anymore and thought about not being near any drug for a long time. But I can't change that part of me, I have tried so hard but I just can't. I have dreams and ambitions, they cause suffering to me. I see beauty in life every day but have to be in a place of suffering every day, it's just really difficult. Me and my girlfriend think we will go through these awful times and hopefully move out of the country where I can work with what I love. If my mental state was known where I'm from no one would do anything, where I'm from mental health is not seen as something real. I don't mind tbh because no one understands where I'm coming from, only a select few people do. I don't think I have chronic depression im just severely disturbed by where I stand atm, I do not like being a mere robot, putting a fake mask for everyone I see and talk to. My family does not care for who I am they want me to be just like them and listen to the government, they don't want me to have my dreams and live my own life. So they go out of their way to make my life harder because I tell them I won't just give up on who I am. Things like that are so common where I'm from, people work for hours on end all their life. They don't like their jobs no one does here! No one actually can follow their dreams unless they are rich af, and that is rare unless you are stealing money with the government. I am unsatisfied with the state of the world but being in one of the worst is even more disturbing to me. Although I count my self lucky because there are worse countries with a lower standard of life, ours is not exactly like that. I am grateful to have a roof over my head, have warm water all the time, have internet. It's just so hard to not be who you truly are, because who I am disturbs my family, and the government. I know for a fact my family will call the cops on me to put me behind bars. Its just fucking disturbing
I do want to refuge to US, Canada, Aus just somewhere where I can have a tiny amount of freedom in my own little world is what I desire deeply. But countries don't just accept people in their country with open arms, its very difficult to earn the right to be there.

It sounds as though you have a good idea of the issues causing you to have the thoughts and feelings that you are. There is much to be thankful for as has been mentioned, and it sounds as though you have the perspective to still be aware of this and feel this way which is good. You can do something about it. I can't tell you what but you can work it out im sure. Sometimes life is hard work. It fucking sucks. But experience is how you find out who you are. Sometimes we all just need support for a bit to help do that. Your girlfriend perhaps?

 

[shroomhaze]

It sounds as though you have a good idea of the issues causing you to have the thoughts and feelings that you are. There is much to be thankful for as has been mentioned, and it sounds as though you have the perspective to still be aware of this and feel this way which is good. You can do something about it. I can't tell you what but you can work it out im sure. Sometimes life is hard work. It fucking sucks. But experience is how you find out who you are. Sometimes we all just need support for a bit to help do that. Your girlfriend perhaps?

yes my gf is always a huge help, she is always there when im having difficult times its a blessing to have someone like that

 

[trichoneum]

Always my friend.

 

[Arkos]

Stick in there buddy, don't let them win

 

[trichoneum]

See there is always a way out.
For up. There is down.
For yes. There is No.
Light.Dark
In.Out
Stuck.....Release.
Let go. If it is guilt. Go to a mountain top and scream out your apologies.
If it is sadness.
Write it down burn, if necessary, and say it out loud.
There is always a way out and a feeling is just a feeling if u ride it out from start to finish. It gets easier. I used to not be able to talk about my childhood abuse but when I began to just let the memory happen and when it played out a few hundred times or so that initial sting in the throat. Well, it wasn't as bad. And now its just like. Damn. They was some fkd up ppl around me. But I made it and you will too.

Well done @Gundi6969, you learned to love the child. I did too. Not as easy or airy fairy ridiculous as it sounds. Not in the slightest.

 

[Mookjong]

Wait til you're forced to marry a fat balding woman that's been fucking you over behind the scenes for the past 20 years. Oh, and she whistles when she speaks. It's brutal.

 

[insomnia65]

Your brain isn't you, shut of the noise, tell it to shut the feck up

 

[Killaki]

Wait til you're forced to marry a fat balding woman that's been fucking you over behind the scenes for the past 20 years. Oh, and she whistles when she speaks. It's brutal.

What the fuck?

 

[Killaki]

If I had extreme wanderlust I'd just start walking and see where I can make it. I have a wife and kids and I'm here for them but if I didn't have them I'd probably wander, better than giving into suicidal thoughts.

 

[insomnia65]

I would never presume to judge a person who feels like this as the dark place is very dark.

For me I don't see how suicide would help me grow, now is all there is now.