I am soliciting your best advice for being a dad....

vostok

vostok

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
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A bit late to be advising a member on 'life style choices'?

first mistake ....always go for the Ceasurium section, this leaves the vagina intact for later self indulgent pleasure, for both parties

2: birthing in a bath the french method in which the female squats in warm water is said to be best is drug free too, most times

3: avoid UK British national Health at all costs, even a mom I knew went to Ireland to give birth, and she worked in a uk hospital too

4: as she recovers 2-3 weeks you might consider slipping in for a vasectomy, it will pay for it self many times over, it has at least for me ...lol

5: if you like this bird...marry her, many tax advantages, if not ...nows a good time to bail out, I have many times, you have done your bit ...unless she is peasant stock?​
 
neosapien

neosapien

Well-Known Member
Good luck man! My wife needed an emergency c-section after having an ultrasound reveal her fluid had been leaking for some time. Within 4 hours of arriving at the hospital I was holding my newborn daughter. Hope it's quick for you and your wife buddy. Nothing wrong with drugs or c-sections. C-sections you don't have a choice on the drugs though LOL.
 
Unclebaldrick

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
Growan said:
Jeez, do we have a Baby Baldrick yet?!?
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Not yet. She's still around five minutes average between contractions. (i got an app for it) We were told not to go in until we are around four minutes - or they will beat us (thanks O'Bama). My guess would be by morning.

Edit... Right now she just wants the epidural. Wish I had one for her. All I've got are T's, 'ludes, uppers, downers, screamers, twerkers and a couple of Bill Cosbys.
 
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Unclebaldrick

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
vostok said:
A bit late to be advising a member on 'life style choices'?

first mistake ....always go for the Ceasurium section, this leaves the vagina intact for later self indulgent pleasure, for both parties

2: birthing in a bath the french method in which the female squats in warm water is said to be best is drug free too, most times

3: avoid UK British national Health at all costs, even a mom I knew went to Ireland to give birth, and she worked in a uk hospital too

4: as she recovers 2-3 weeks you might consider slipping in for a vasectomy, it will pay for it self many times over, it has at least for me ...lol

5: if you like this bird...marry her, many tax advantages, if not ...nows a good time to bail out, I have many times, you have done your bit ...unless she is peasant stock?​
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1. But it leaves a nasty scar - plus, there's always the butt, Bob
2. I thought the French method was different than that but maybe I heard wrong.
3. Check
4. Nah, I only have about 5 active sperm per picaliter? Miracle, really.
5. Too late. I love her and married her a little while back. Good Irish peasant stock.
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Yeah, I think she has probably had enough of "whiff of the grape" to go for the epidural. Her biggest reservation was the decrease in mobility that the spinal tap comes with. I'm cool with it. Hard to watch her in pain.
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Don't even worry about that! Epidurals are a Godsend! I was sure I wanted a home birth until I got big as a house and then SCARED. The epi is no problem and no side effects. Makes it so much more sane.
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
2. I thought the French method was different than that but maybe I heard wrong.
.
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You are correct it's called Laboisier method (after the doctor) again a lot of hype. The birth is -what?_ a DAY of the kid's life? Focus on what to do when the kid is actually here.

Parenting advice:

PM me if interested. There's a lot to wade through here. LOL Most of what I'd tell you isn't on this thread AND isn't in the text books.

Best of luck to you my friend. YOu'll both do just fine.
 
Growan

Growan

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Not yet. She's still around five minutes average between contractions. (i got an app for it) We were told not to go in until we are around four minutes - or they will beat us (thanks O'Bama). My guess would be by morning.

Edit... Right now she just wants the epidural. Wish I had one for her. All I've got are T's, 'ludes, uppers, downers, screamers, twerkers and a couple of Bill Cosbys.
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Slip her a Cosby. ;)

We had an app too!

We set off for our first at 12:30 am only to find the alternator in the land rover had failed. Drove the whole way there with the lights dipped in case the battery gave out.

Shit, nearly forgot!

DO NOT COLLECT YOUR WIFE FROM THE HOSPITAL IN A 1985 LAND ROVER PICKUP!!!

The baby seat goes where she used to sit, and she will not be pleased about straddling the centre console and gearstick. The epidural doesnt last forever...
 
vostok

vostok

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
1. But it leaves a nasty scar - plus, there's always the butt, Bob
2. I thought the French method was different than that but maybe I heard wrong.
3. Check
4. Nah, I only have about 5 active sperm per picaliter? Miracle, really.
5. Too late. I love her and married her a little while back. Good Irish peasant stock.
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lol ...lol!
my new word of the day 'Epidurals'
I personally think a sex change would be more comfortable ..lol
http://www.webmd.com/baby/tc/childbirth-epidurals-topic-overview
as to the C-section scar, only nasty if the lady add weight later, but most is hidden in the pubic hair ..? ..lol
what the hell is a pica liter ..? yet another measurement new to RIU ...? ..lol​
 
vostok

vostok

Well-Known Member
Congrats Balders ..LOL

ps don't name him after me, I get enuf stick for 'Vostock' ..lol​
 
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