I am soliciting your best advice for being a dad....

Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
Congradulations. i would get some chains and a good pad lock if its a girl if its a boy buy some porn.
 
We pulled a Frank Zappa deal where we named our 3 sons out of the ordinary names , one name i Would love to have myself would be Baron Von Vladimire Dracul , or swap Baron for Count , im not trying to be insulting or silly im very serious .

Its like my 1st & middle names which are Levi Garrett @#%?!$, i caught hell as a kid because my name wasn't bob,ed or mike but once i grew into a man chicks dug my name , nowdays my 1st name Levi is a regular name but back in the 50's nobody had the name, i hated it when i was little but as an adult i grew to appreciate the thought my father put into naming me something manly.

Eddie Van Halen named his son Wolfgang Von Van Halen & i think its bad ass .
 
Hmm, false alarm for now. Maybe her water has a bit of a leak or something... Don't wanna go into detail. But they sent us home as the kid still had a full pool to swim in. I have a feeling that we'll be back soon. Kind of glad it is not happening yet.

But thanks for all the advice, especially you @Singlemalt

sorry I quoted you but deleted it cause I missed that you don't wanna go in detail.

Enjoy and get stoned while you can bongsmilie
 
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.
For one, get off the fucking computer and be with your wife.
 
Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.

Don't take it seriously. Whatever you do it will inevitably be wrong. So relax and enjoy the little bugger, they grow old and soon are carrying a .40 S&W on their hip and telling you to go to your room!
 
Once he turns into a person; always be patient, be honest, truthful, spend time with him and show him the cool things of the world and how things work; no baby talk. They learn fast and ya gotta keep up with that. Always try to be a buffer against popular culture; let him know he can always talk to you about his concerns, fears, unknowns. Let him know what you expect and always make sure he knows he is loved. My kids told me the thing that influenced their behavior the most was not when I got angry, but when I got disappointed in them (which was not often).

Congrats Baldrick, its gonna be a ride!

Edit: I had girls, so my fears started when they reached puberty; wouldn't wanted to have a boy like me
Arguing is easy .Disappointing people you love is depressing!
@Unclebaldrick congratulations! I don't have any kids so I can't offer you any advice....I assume it's more of a journey, a long long journey that never lasts long enough. Filled with hills and valleys. ..u won't know you've experienced ups till you feel down! I'm sure there is no right answer to your question. .. but I would start here..download (11).jpg
 
Don't ask parenting advice on a cannabis grow forum...maybe !?

The thing is, there are some awesome people on here and they have given some excellent advice. I can understand why you might not know that.
For one, get off the fucking computer and be with your wife.

At the time I was sitting next to her. All her needs were taken care of. It seems like Santa isn't the only judgmental bastard around.
 
buy smoke alarms.

also, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting too butch, you reign her in. And you say, 'Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.

got that shit straight from God.

Lol

Plus rep
 
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