Women issues! :(

Jables&Jakoseph

Jables&Jakoseph

Well-Known Member
I dont know what to do, im going to keep it simple but i would love your opinions on my situation. Basically, my ex is in love with me, the reason why SHE broke up with ME is because of weed. she broke up with me this past august and ever since then we've started to talk and now we're hooking up...probably once a week. Yes, i'll admit; its partly my fault. I know you're probably thinking this guy is an idiot for even talking to his ex, but i'm the type of guy who cannot hold grudges very well. The thing is that, I love being with her and all but i just dont know if i can date her again. I could careless about her whole issue with pot, if i cared/"loved" a girl enough i could easily stop smoking. But i don't feel the same ways she does, i do have SOME feelings for her though. Right now, im at the stage in my life where i need to get things done and the last thing i need is to have a girl friend. Nor am i looking for one. I'm searching for jobs and am going to move into my mothers house (an hour and a half away from where i am now) in afew months. I dont want to be lying to her in a relationship. She keeps asking me when im going to ask her out and its starting to bother me because she's expecting it. I'm mad at myself for putting myself in this situation but its reality and i can't aviod it. I've only asked one friend for advice and what he told me was to tell her how im feeling and what i want in parts to aviod telling her everything at once and breaking her heart (although im sure ill end up breaking it anyways). although it does sound like a good idea, i was thinking that maybe it's not such a great idea. If i did end up telling her in bits, she might start to expect me to tell her more and more each time i see her which will keep her stomach in her throat and she might not know what to expect even though she'll probably know that its coming. She told me today that she just knows that i wont date her or ill find someone better. Lately she's been right about alot of things and this is one of them. Im so stuck guys, any advice asap would be greatly apreciated. :-(

Thanks alot:peace::leaf:
 
projectinfo

projectinfo

Well-Known Member
just do it all at once , shel be mad but shel grow up youl be freinds after , jsut be nice about it and ease the stuff onto her , say you dont see a future and you dont want to lead her on and make it harder in the long run , tell her youl be moving and all that , lol i kow because i just brokeup with my girl i was with for a year , we faught alot and i just didnt see me wanting to marry her so i broke it off before it go too serious like a house or kid or soemthing right ,,,, so shes mad and shit but she said she wanted to be freinds still,,, lol blame it all on yourself and dont objectify her and say "you did this and that" if she doesnt like pot then fuck her , she should like you for who you are , not who she wants you to be
 
cheeseysynapse

cheeseysynapse

Well-Known Member
yeah, project's right. you owe it to her. at least she deserves it. IDK if you owe it to her. But, be honest. Its tough. She'll respect you. She may not like it, but she'll at least respect you. And that has meaning. I would write down what you want to say to her, and rehearse it. If anything, it will help you solidify YOUR feelings and plans.
 
Jables&Jakoseph

Jables&Jakoseph

Well-Known Member
Thanks guys. I just talked to her and i told her that i have to tell her my feelings. I told her that i cant get past the whole distance thing, and that its not her, its me. (i was just with her) I also told her that i would much rather be friends now and have time to settler things then to go out for six months and for it to be a count down. i couldn't do that to her. she was balling her eyes out, i wanted to die. :( I hate when girls cry. ugh. Im really glad i got it off my chest though. I'm still talking to her as we speak via text messages. we were on the phone but she was crying so hard i told her that ill let her have some time to herself and she said ok and hung up. Thanks alot guys, i really appreciate it. I really needed to talk to someone i can trust (the riu community, well for the most part) and some good friends but that's still iffy. anyways, thanks again.
 
OregonMeds

OregonMeds

Well-Known Member
You did the right thing. Now the hard part is not giving in. Maintain distance and break the connection. No calling all the time etc..
 
Jables&Jakoseph

Jables&Jakoseph

Well-Known Member
The hardest part was telling her, having to listen to her cry. I talked to my cousin as well as his girlfriend about it and they both said she'll get over it eventually and that i did the right thing. We were going to go to dinner and a movie tonight and she still wants to know if were going but there's no way that's happening... i could go for a bong hit right now :D
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
You did the right thing.Leading someone on hurts them worse in the long run.
Jables&Jakoseph said:
The hardest part was telling her, having to listen to her cry. I talked to my cousin as well as his girlfriend about it and they both said she'll get over it eventually and that i did the right thing. We were going to go to dinner and a movie tonight and she still wants to know if were going but there's no way that's happening... i could go for a bong hit right now :D
Click to expand...
 
AlannaMarijuana

AlannaMarijuana

Active Member
Yes hun, as a woman I do understand the feeling of wanting someone I love to get back with me and they never did but what they did do, was bullshit around and in the long run I was even more hurt that they didnt just tell me all of it up front. So my point is, you should tell her how you feel, dont let her feelings get in the way of telling her the whole truth because in the long run, you will aoid hurting her more.
 
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