Why do people always take kindness for weakness?!

kentuckyboy

Well-Known Member
I am so fricking mad and hurt right now that I just have to write some shit down on here to try and release some of this built up frustration and anger, so I don't end up doing something stupid! Let me tell you all exactly what just happened to put me in such a mood.

A very good friend of mine who is about 7 years older than me. I have known him, since I was about 15 years old. He used to buy my friends alcohol back then. I am 33 years old now, so he is about 40. So to put it mildly, I have known and been like best friends with this guy for a very long time.

Anyways, about 2 months ago he called me up asking if he could stay at my crib for a little bit until he found a new place to stay. With him being such a good friend I couldn't possibly say no, since I had the room at my place. Everything was all good for the 1st couple of weeks until he got fired from his job. When he told me that he had been fired, I just thought to myself, "how in the hell is this motherf#*#er going to pay for a new place without a gosh damn job?!" Now I had to deal with someone being in my house 24/7 when I am used to living by myself. He really started getting on my nerves about that time, but I never said anything about it at all. I treated him exactly the same. So he played the lazy game for about 2 weeks until I was really getting fed up, and I said something to my ex-girlfriend whom I am still very good friends with. I also consider that girl's kids as my own. And those kids consider me to be their father as well, so I have to say it is a somewhat complicated situation between me and her. But it is a good situation.

Anyways she needed to get a job and so did my buddy Bob. They ended up working together through a temp service. They worked there about 6 or 7 days until yesterday when my supposed friend Bob pulled an okey doke on her! Angela had to catch a ride with Bob to work, since she didn't have a car of her own. Bob picked her up like all the other days, and they drove to the warehouse where they were supposed to work at. Angela left her purse in the car along with her lunch and some other unimportant shit. They both went up to the entrance where you clock in and shit. Angela went her separate way to the part of the warehouse where she worked at. Apparently Bob just acted like he clocked in, but he instead went to his car and left. Angela had at least 30 Suboxone strips, $150 in cash, and a paycheck in her purse. Plus, she had all kinds of personal information type papers like her driver's license and health insurance card. Anyways she didn't know that he wasn't at work until her first break when she went out to his car and to her surprise it wasn't there. She then asked the supervisor's if they had seen him and of course they said no. She then had them look to see if he clocked in, which he hadn't! Next thing I know she is callling me tripping out asking if he had come back to my house, but he hadn't. So right then and there I realized he had pulled a bitch move and was gone. I honestly hoped all day long that he would finally show up with all of her stuff, but he never did.

I just got off of the phone with Angela and she just reported he shit stolen by him and got her a police report. She is going to try to get her doc to refill her script with enough subs to hold her over until she goes to the doctor again in 2 weeks, but I seriously doubt that the doc will do it. Too many people do all their meds and then try to say that their shit got stolen, so they can get more. It has made it impossible for people who are telling the truth to get there meds when their shit actually did get stolen.

It's crazy because everything that Bob owns is at my house which is only clothes and shoes and some hygiene products. Needless to say that shit is going to the DAV, because i sure as hell won't be giving it back to him. I am so fricking tired of people who are supposed to be friends or sometimes even faily do this kind of shit to people when they are just trying to help them out. Gosh damn it just kills me. I am truly at a loss of words on this situation. I never expected that son of a bitch to pull some shady ass shit like this! I would have done anything within my capabilities to help him out because that was how I was raised by my parents, but I am so tired of being shit on by people. It is a fracked up world that we live in! Anyways thanks for listening to my rant! I do feel a tad bit better now. At least I won't ever have to worry about him doing this to me ever again! Lol!
 

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry. You don't not help your friends. Some of them will screw you. The rest make it worth doing anyway, at least that's what I've found.

Your friend is headed towards a very dark place if he could do that to someone as close as you were. He needs pity and help. Unfortunately in this fracked up country, he's not likely to get it.

By the way, kindness isn't weakness- it's the ability to give, even when you expect nothing in return. Those who mistake it for weakness are themselves weak in character.

Sounds like you have good people around you, take care of them.
 

whitebb2727

Well-Known Member
I live in your state. For the cost of going to sub clinic a deposit could have been put on an apartment. I also know that in KY that sub clinics are a croc of shit, they have no intent on weening you off the drug.

Sorry I just read that a little better. Small price to pay to know someones true nature.

I also struggle with same issue. Saying no does not make you a bad person.
 

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Live and learn. NEXT time set some parameters on that heart of yours. Have an arrangement in place up front. For example, when I loan something to a friend: "Can you have that back by Thursday then?"

or, "sure you can crash at my place. How long do you figure you need to stay?" THen tell them how long you can put them up.

Boundries. You learn by your 40's that you're incapable of putting up with shit. It becomes way more cut and dried at this point in life. Don't worry, kindness is a virtue so don't become jaded, just learn for next time. I'd echo the rest : you got off cheap.
 

GroErr

Well-Known Member
Kindness and good deeds do not equal weakness, the problem is your buddy, not you. There are some friends that I'd do anything for, including putting them up temporarily if they were in need. There are others that I don't even invite over for dinner anymore. Some people just have no appreciation for kind acts and will take advantage of you, weed them out, this one sounds like one of those. Sorry about your luck :(
 

skunkd0c

Well-Known Member
Try not to take it personally
he would of done the same to another
he is a desperate opportunist

maybe one day you will bump into him again, you will see the shame and fear in his eyes :)

peace
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
You should let him tap dat ass. I bet you'll be amazed at how long he can last on all that junk. Don't knock it till you've tried it. After you've let him knock on your back door report back and let us all know if I was right
 

kentuckyboy

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the replies people. Honestly I never expected him to pull this shit. I am still having a hard time believing it. I'm 33 now, and I thought I had pretty much weeded all of the fake ass associate's out of my life. I had shit like this happen all of the time in my early 20's. Lol! I really didn't take any kind of loss. It is my ex girlfriend and best friend that took the loss, but I feel somewhat responsible. Even though I know that it isn't my fault. Anyways if that ass hole has the nerve to come around me, he can expect me to greet him with a nice jab and then a killer hook for the KO! Lol!
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the replies people. Honestly I never expected him to pull this shit. I am still having a hard time believing it. I'm 33 now, and I thought I had pretty much weeded all of the fake ass associate's out of my life. I had shit like this happen all of the time in my early 20's. Lol! I really didn't take any kind of loss. It is my ex girlfriend and best friend that took the loss, but I feel somewhat responsible. Even though I know that it isn't my fault. Anyways if that ass hole has the nerve to come around me, he can expect me to greet him with a nice jab and then a killer hook for the KO! Lol!
How about you just cut all the macho tough guy act and just skip right to the gay stuff, call up this guy and get it on. I mean the chick had already dumped you and you've already got this guy living with you, might as well just skip right to it, don't be shy, who cares if you're a homo, I don't, plus he's got all the junk, might as well go for it.
 

ElfoodStampo

Well-Known Member
I am so fricking mad and hurt right now that I just have to write some shit down on here to try and release some of this built up frustration and anger, so I don't end up doing something stupid! Let me tell you all exactly what just happened to put me in such a mood.

A very good friend of mine who is about 7 years older than me. I have known him, since I was about 15 years old. He used to buy my friends alcohol back then. I am 33 years old now, so he is about 40. So to put it mildly, I have known and been like best friends with this guy for a very long time.

Anyways, about 2 months ago he called me up asking if he could stay at my crib for a little bit until he found a new place to stay. With him being such a good friend I couldn't possibly say no, since I had the room at my place. Everything was all good for the 1st couple of weeks until he got fired from his job. When he told me that he had been fired, I just thought to myself, "how in the hell is this motherf#*#er going to pay for a new place without a gosh damn job?!" Now I had to deal with someone being in my house 24/7 when I am used to living by myself. He really started getting on my nerves about that time, but I never said anything about it at all. I treated him exactly the same. So he played the lazy game for about 2 weeks until I was really getting fed up, and I said something to my ex-girlfriend whom I am still very good friends with. I also consider that girl's kids as my own. And those kids consider me to be their father as well, so I have to say it is a somewhat complicated situation between me and her. But it is a good situation.

Anyways she needed to get a job and so did my buddy Bob. They ended up working together through a temp service. They worked there about 6 or 7 days until yesterday when my supposed friend Bob pulled an okey doke on her! Angela had to catch a ride with Bob to work, since she didn't have a car of her own. Bob picked her up like all the other days, and they drove to the warehouse where they were supposed to work at. Angela left her purse in the car along with her lunch and some other unimportant shit. They both went up to the entrance where you clock in and shit. Angela went her separate way to the part of the warehouse where she worked at. Apparently Bob just acted like he clocked in, but he instead went to his car and left. Angela had at least 30 Suboxone strips, $150 in cash, and a paycheck in her purse. Plus, she had all kinds of personal information type papers like her driver's license and health insurance card. Anyways she didn't know that he wasn't at work until her first break when she went out to his car and to her surprise it wasn't there. She then asked the supervisor's if they had seen him and of course they said no. She then had them look to see if he clocked in, which he hadn't! Next thing I know she is callling me tripping out asking if he had come back to my house, but he hadn't. So right then and there I realized he had pulled a bitch move and was gone. I honestly hoped all day long that he would finally show up with all of her stuff, but he never did.

I just got off of the phone with Angela and she just reported he shit stolen by him and got her a police report. She is going to try to get her doc to refill her script with enough subs to hold her over until she goes to the doctor again in 2 weeks, but I seriously doubt that the doc will do it. Too many people do all their meds and then try to say that their shit got stolen, so they can get more. It has made it impossible for people who are telling the truth to get there meds when their shit actually did get stolen.

It's crazy because everything that Bob owns is at my house which is only clothes and shoes and some hygiene products. Needless to say that shit is going to the DAV, because i sure as hell won't be giving it back to him. I am so fricking tired of people who are supposed to be friends or sometimes even faily do this kind of shit to people when they are just trying to help them out. Gosh damn it just kills me. I am truly at a loss of words on this situation. I never expected that son of a bitch to pull some shady ass shit like this! I would have done anything within my capabilities to help him out because that was how I was raised by my parents, but I am so tired of being shit on by people. It is a fracked up world that we live in! Anyways thanks for listening to my rant! I do feel a tad bit better now. At least I won't ever have to worry about him doing this to me ever again! Lol!
Yea bummer this shit happened. All I can add is don't let it change you as a person. You can only apply the experience to future relationships. I know how you feel though. Keep truckin bud.
 

lahadaextranjera

Well-Known Member
It's true, it's a small price to pay to find out and get rid.

I had a similar situation last year. My friend wanted to stay at my place ( I've known him since about 19) and I wasnt keen but he was desperate.

I didn't want his flash car attracting attention with the neighbours etc. plus he's black and they're extremely racist around here.

I reluctantly agreed and then he sprung it on me that his pitbull was coming too. No way Jose, I've got a cat. A nice one without a nervous disposition and id like to keep it that way.

He's still not talking to me today and his mates say he's a dickead. Nearly 20 years I've known him but I'm glad I stuck to my guns.
 

kentuckyboy

Well-Known Member
How about you just cut all the macho tough guy act and just skip right to the gay stuff, call up this guy and get it on. I mean the chick had already dumped you and you've already got this guy living with you, might as well just skip right to it, don't be shy, who cares if you're a homo, I don't, plus he's got all the junk, might as well go for it.
Wtf r u talking about? Stop talking shit! I mean where the hell do you get that I am gay and that he is fucking with my ex girl from like 10 years ago. Me and her are just really good friends, and I am like a father to her kids. Anyways quit being a troll!
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
Wtf r u talking about? Stop talking shit! I mean where the hell do you get that I am gay and that he is fucking with my ex girl from like 10 years ago. Me and her are just really good friends, and I am like a father to her kids. Anyways quit being a troll!
You don't have to act offended, I'm just trying to help. You sound like a good guy and that's really commendable of you to help out with your ex's kids, that's pretty big of you to be ok with her dumping you and getting banged by men untill one of them knocked her up and then helping her and them after the guys all hit it and quit it, sorry to hear she's on the junk and so's this other guy who took her stuff, I'm just saying you've already been living with him so I mean you're already living with a guy, you're jacking it in one room and him in another, you're both already busting loads a few feet apart all lonely and alone it's not much of a stretch to just give him a tug or whatever, sorry to hear he took her stuff but you guys are close so I think you can work it out, since she's not giving you any action plus she's not living with you it seems like you might as well stand by your man and I bet if you just ask him if he likes bj's he will say yes, then just go for it, and you might as well let him pound your mud hole I bet you will enjoy it then see if he will let you have some of her junk and take a turn stomping his mud hole, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and your ex will forgive you and understand that you just needed a man who can give you what you want, it's no big deal bro, just be yourself.
 

a mongo frog

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the replies people. Honestly I never expected him to pull this shit. I am still having a hard time believing it. I'm 33 now, and I thought I had pretty much weeded all of the fake ass associate's out of my life. I had shit like this happen all of the time in my early 20's. Lol! I really didn't take any kind of loss. It is my ex girlfriend and best friend that took the loss, but I feel somewhat responsible. Even though I know that it isn't my fault. Anyways if that ass hole has the nerve to come around me, he can expect me to greet him with a nice jab and then a killer hook for the KO! Lol!
A hook is some times hard to through after a jab, unless you've practiced that move. Usually a straight right comes after the jab (1-2). However some wise people preach never through a right hand unless you plan to follow up with a left hook. So in your case i would through a straight right followed by left hook or the classic 1-2-3 (jab right left hook).
 

TheHermit

Well-Known Member
I bet he shows up in a few days when all the money and drugs are gone and either gives you some bs excuse or tries to blame it all on your ex.
 

kentuckyboy

Well-Known Member
You don't have to act offended, I'm just trying to help. You sound like a good guy and that's really commendable of you to help out with your ex's kids, that's pretty big of you to be ok with her dumping you and getting banged by men untill one of them knocked her up and then helping her and them after the guys all hit it and quit it, sorry to hear she's on the junk and so's this other guy who took her stuff, I'm just saying you've already been living with him so I mean you're already living with a guy, you're jacking it in one room and him in another, you're both already busting loads a few feet apart all lonely and alone it's not much of a stretch to just give him a tug or whatever, sorry to hear he took her stuff but you guys are close so I think you can work it out, since she's not giving you any action plus she's not living with you it seems like you might as well stand by your man and I bet if you just ask him if he likes bj's he will say yes, then just go for it, and you might as well let him pound your mud hole I bet you will enjoy it then see if he will let you have some of her junk and take a turn stomping his mud hole, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and your ex will forgive you and understand that you just needed a man who can give you what you want, it's no big deal bro, just be yourself.
I don't know where you are getting your idiotic theories from. All I did was help my friend of 20 years out with a place to stay until he found another spot to live at. As far as my ex from over 10 years ago is concerned, you are making assumptions about something you know nothing about. And for some reason you keep spitting this shit about me being gay. Sounds like you have huge cocks on your mind, so go suck on one or just take one in your ass and mind your own business.I just don't undersatand why people have to spit all this nonsense on a serious thread. Get a life kiddy and grow the frack up!
 

kentuckyboy

Well-Known Member
I bet he shows up in a few days when all the money and drugs are gone and either gives you some bs excuse or tries to blame it all on your ex.
I seriously doubt that he is going to show up any time soon asking me for forgiveness. He didn't get me for anything. He just ripped off one of my best friend's. There is no question that he ripped he off. They had worked together at this warehouse for about a week now. He drove her to work, and she just left her purse with he prescription of suboxone strips in there. There was also around a $100 in cash in her purse as well. I don't see how he could try to blame this on her, since he took off in his cvar with her shit and disapopeared. All of his clothes and shoes are here at my house, and I haven't heard a peep from him. He knows that I will not tolerate that kind of behavior. I cannot stand a thief. I had just had my house broken into back on Memorial Day, so I definitely would not let a known thief stay at my house.
 

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
I don't know where you are getting your idiotic theories from. All I did was help my friend of 20 years out with a place to stay until he found another spot to live at. As far as my ex from over 10 years ago is concerned, you are making assumptions about something you know nothing about. And for some reason you keep spitting this shit about me being gay. Sounds like you have huge cocks on your mind, so go suck on one or just take one in your ass and mind your own business.I just don't undersatand why people have to spit all this nonsense on a serious thread. Get a life kiddy and grow the frack up!
All he wants is your reaction, so give him one; 'ignore'
 
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