Why are newbies so Stubborn?

I have a friend that is a medical patient, I'm also a patient/caregiver. I would love to upgrade my plant count, and I'm currently a caregiver to my aforementioned friend, but he refuses to give me rights to his plants. He has this idea that he's going to be able to grow monsters, because he see's what I've done, and to him I make it look easy. So he keeps piddling away, and I can tell already that his plants will net him about an ounce (if that).

He has no income to invest in lighting, equipment, and the various things a person needs to legitimately call themselves a botanist. I've tried to help him work with what he has, and he does listen to my advice, but it does take a bit of green, to be able to have a green harvest.

The most recent encounter, was him telling me that he has a couple weeks to harvest. In reality his plants just started budding, he's growing sativa's and he has (at least) a couple months left, I told him that, and he was devastated. Still he doesn't want to give up his plant count. I know he's borderline poverty, has serious medical conditions, and I'm more than happy to supply him with "free" personal until he can get another surgery, and get back on his feet again, but I can't help someone that won't let me.

Again, why are newbies so stubborn, and what can I do to help him get a decent personal supply on a regular basis. He has 2 4 ft t-8 fluoro's and 2 150 hps from Sunlight supply. I also gave him an old Hi beam 400 watt MH I had laying around (he still doesn't have it setup, because he couldn't afford a bulb). This is someone I care about, and I'm just trying to put him in the right direction, but I've run out of ideas to help him get the most of his setup, I'm thinking one DWC bucket, SCROG'ed, might be as good as it will get from his limited lighting options. Anyone out there have any ideas?

Some people are innately stubborn (without the negative connotation).
Maybe he just wants to do it himself, as in try, fail, figure it out and fix it.
Nothing against you or your advice but some people are like that.

Some people have to learn the hard way.

Good luck bro. Ppl get greedy. One reason for stubborness. He prob. figures he can net enuf to sell a lil. on the side to supplement his low/no income. In all reality he is prob. better off letting you do it for him by the sound of it. Give it a harvest or two. He will either figure it out or go back to letting you do it. I would try to help him if you really care for him. Advice is one thing free equipment is another though.

failing miserably is probably the only thing that can teach that lesson.... at least for that guy...

Did you ever watch Jeremiah Johnson? If not it would answer your question. A lot of newbies look at the vids, check out the pics and sometimes read the books and suddenly they're pros and have it all figured out, just like in the movie when Johnson tells the old guy he can skin Griz. Next thing you know the old guy is laughing his ass off and running for his life with a big ol' bear right behind him. He runs through the front of the cabin and out the back yelling "You skin this one and I'll get us another."

A little knowledge can be dangerous.

he is gonna have to learn like the rest of us. i wouldnt stress about it. sounds like he should start out with some kind of super soil so he dont have to wrk so hard.

LOL, YEP as did everyone that fucked with chopper!!!!!!!!!

*BUDS said:

Some people have to learn the hard way.

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Maybe it'd be better just to help him and offer advice especially since you are trying to get something from him.

I say God Bless You, for caring so much about this person. As everyone else has said he will have to learn the hardway. Its hard for you to probably sit back and watch, but sometimes you have no choice.

Gardening is an acquired skill. Just like cooking, playing a musical instrument, and driving.

Some can, some can't, or won't. Your friend is battling illness and poverty. Growing is probably the last thing on his mind.

Send him to the RIU

Grow Videos on youTube. the grow bible show him how difficult it is and the equipment he needs to have to obtain the results he wants and needs

Ditto what Prosperian says -- if he's not feeling well, then he's probably not able to really focus on conquering the learning curve of a grow. He WANTS and NEEDS his bud to be ready soon. But it won't be. And yet he's probably doesn't want to feel like a total charity case in taking your advice or even your offer of assistance until his harvest is ready. One of the great things about growing is the feeling of independence that it gives the grower. A good grower likes knowing that he or she can take care of himself and be self-sufficient, without having to rely on either pharma or drug dealers. At least that's how it makes me feel.

But if he can't invest a little money in the grow and he's not feeling well enough to listen and learn, and maybe even endure some more pain while he waits for his plants to finish, it's tough. I feel for him. All I can say is he's lucky to have a friend who genuinely cares, whether he listens to you or not.

He may just want to be independent and learn as he goes. Kids do it to..I can do it myself mindset. Just offer advice and smile as he learns.

Some great advice here guys, I was having a crap day yesterday, it was the 8th anniversary of my fathers passing (We lost him too cancer on the first day of spring). I wish that I would have known then, what I know now.

It's just hard watching people struggle more than they have too. I think a large part of my friends issue is since he's not working right now and since he's home all the time, without the grow, he wouldn't have anything else to do. I would have no problem doing the extra work for him, but our States Medical laws constrict plant count, and I won't add more to the mix, unless I'm legally adding them for a patient. Maybe I can get some plants to him that are ready for flower so he can see how they should look before you put them in, and then keep a heavy eye on them throughout flower.

Don't get me wrong, I would never do this for a random patient, so people saying that caregivers should all be giving away free medicine, can go somewhere else. However, I do think that we should be doing all we can to help society, to erase the negative stereotypes herbalist's have been given, for the past 75+ years.

It takes more of a man to admit you dont know something and ask for help, than it takes to try, fail, and try again. Sometimes people look at others helping them as a handout per say. Some people like to do it their way and listening to others is considered not doing it themselves. I mean you say your plants are good and he sees that. He "THINKS" its easy. You just have your strains, soil, nutes, etc. done to a tee. He doesnt realize that. My suggestion. Let him fail. Then let him come to you. He will either ask you to take over as his caregiver, or he will at least ask what to do to fix it. Then you will at least get through his head to at least listen to you on how to grow.....

Make him think that your advice was his idea.

It is harder to fail and retry. That's why so many people try something once, fail and give up. But it doesn't sound as if he's hardheaded, more unable than anything. I think he's worried about losing his plants. Lets say you are given rights to his plants. When he decides he would like to grow his own do you have to give them back or do you have to sign over legal rights back to him? Never dealt with legal so I'm not familiar with it. If he is a true friend then just be there for him as that would mean the most to someone in true need of help.

mtgeezer said:

Did you ever watch Jeremiah Johnson? If not it would answer your question. A lot of newbies look at the vids, check out the pics and sometimes read the books and suddenly they're pros and have it all figured out, just like in the movie when Johnson tells the old guy he can skin Griz. Next thing you know the old guy is laughing his ass off and running for his life with a big ol' bear right behind him. He runs through the front of the cabin and out the back yelling "You skin this one and I'll get us another."
A little knowledge can be dangerous.

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[video=youtube;FcsXC2xFis4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcsXC2xFis4[/video]