Whos on the edge with their gf?

Yeah

Yeah

Well-Known Member
valuablevariable said:
Definatly as well, fuck i dont want to be single and have to worry about the whole finding a girl bs.
But shes going through a big change in her life and i dont know who shell be once its settled down again.
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Maybe you need to realize that you don't need someone else. You don't have to find a girl, and perhaps, if everything is right, she'll find you. Just a thought. I see too many good friends go from one horrible breakup into another serious relationship in matter of weeks. It's as if they feel they are not complete without someone else. Just be YOU for a while is my suggestion.:peace:
 
valuablevariable

valuablevariable

Well-Known Member
Im not constantly in a relationship, this is my first serious one. I know you dont have to always look for a girl but in the end its still in the back of your mind. To put it simple, i love to have the luxury of having a girl who you know likes you for you and you dont have to think all day of how your gonna try to impress someone.
However, im def not someone who just slacks off once your together, i try to do everything i can to make her happy.

And i do try to be myself, hard sometimes though, every now and then you look at yourself and think your becoming a different person
 
nody08

nody08

Active Member
hope things get better for you..

I had some problems recently and we had some rocky roads.

Just like your gf I was the one changing and we did fight a lot and i was really..just sad never happy same as your gf and things are getting better..

sometimes when theres a lot going on in life its just hard to have a good relationship.

If you are there for her and love her she WILL see that and once everything settles down you either will be together or you wont..but whatever way it ends up the only thing you can really do right now is be there for her...

hope that helps :-/
 
bigtittymilf

bigtittymilf

Well-Known Member
man, y'all are some cheezy motherfuckers. Some of the best years of my life were spent whoring around. And it paid off, too. Good relationship and no STDs. it's the american fucking dream, yo.
 
Arrid

Arrid

Well-Known Member
ya know.

F**k love.

Nah come on people.

We all get lonely now and then, but god made hands and vibrators for a reason, right? ;)
 
valuablevariable

valuablevariable

Well-Known Member
Yeah its pretty fucked right now. Shes changed, and it seems like i lost who i had before. Turns out she says she doesnt have fun when we do something but she likes doing other stuff with me, whatever that means. Its fucked up because ive never been the kind of person you dont have fun doing pretty much anything with.
Theres a lot that i cant really explain here but shes got some psychological issues and it seems like shes just taking everything i do for her for granted and now its pretty much my fault we werent having fun. (she was always depressed and i always did everything i could to try and make her feel better). I never thought shed look back at it all and basically only remember that we didnt have fun during those times instead that i was just being there for her.
Shes at a festival with friends from work today, im sitting at home...

Also im getting a lot of that shit where she brings up stuff that happened way back and is turning the whole situation upside down.
 
DWR

DWR

Well-Known Member
valuablevariable said:
Yeah its pretty fucked right now. Shes changed, and it seems like i lost who i had before. Turns out she says she doesnt have fun when we do something but she likes doing other stuff with me, whatever that means. Its fucked up because ive never been the kind of person you dont have fun doing pretty much anything with.
Theres a lot that i cant really explain here but shes got some psychological issues and it seems like shes just taking everything i do for her for granted and now its pretty much my fault we werent having fun. (she was always depressed and i always did everything i could to try and make her feel better). I never thought shed look back at it all and basically only remember that we didnt have fun during those times instead that i was just being there for her.
Shes at a festival with friends from work today, im sitting at home...

Also im getting a lot of that shit where she brings up stuff that happened way back and is turning the whole situation upside down.
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feel ya..... U know what i've just stop'd loving her.... she still has one each day.. where she says i cheated on her.. i am boring.. if i didnt have a big dick she would be gone.... all that type of shit man !

I dont care I tell her.. fuck you ^^

get lost ^^

Then when she goes out all is ok, but when i go out i get like 10 sms's in 2 hours asking what am i doing.. i just saw a blonde i bet u hook'd up with her...

crazy... women only want money... :bigjoint:


-- sorry bro, why dont u go out aswell... to scared that she will bite ye huh ?

?????? well anyway i dont know how she reacts but if so, fuck it and go out aswell :)
 
bush basher

bush basher

Well-Known Member
my GF hasn't spoke to me for 2 days cos i bought a snake, still isn't speakin now. she's gona hav to over the weekend tho cos we gotta go shoppin! ha ha ha.
 
valuablevariable

valuablevariable

Well-Known Member
Why dont i go out? Well if theres something i wanted to do it was to go to that festival. Also im not rly in the mood now, dont feel like pretending everything is fine.
And for all those wondering why i dont just break up and move on, well we had some good times and im still not sure if the way she is now is just temp because of stuff shes going through and i guess you also dont just end a 2 year relationship after the first time going gets tough.
 
Return of the Spork

Return of the Spork

Well-Known Member
People always get bored after a while. Some people are just more committed than others, and sometimes the ones who aren't as committed are completely surprised by their lack of willpower.

A relationship isn't so much a being perfect for eachother than it is working to stay with each other. If both of you aren't working to keep the relationship together, then it isn't going to work out. Some relationships take a lot of work, some don't. What it comes down to is if you both feel as if it is worth the effort.

From what I have seen in your thread, it looks like you are possibly younger, which makes this next part very relevant.

I always had this idea in my head that I would find the right girl and everything would just be easy. But incorporating your life with another person is a big freaking deal and once it goes past dates and sex, it gets a lot more complicated. At that point the big questions start getting asked...

"Do I want to stay with him/her forever?"
"Would I be happier dating around?"
"I am not as interested as I was, just...comfortable. Is that what love is supposed to feel like?"
"There isn't as much passion anymore, maybe we aren't right for eachother afterall"

The thing is that people usually don't literally ask themselves those questions, but somewhere in the back of their mind, those concerns are getting bigger and bigger because they aren't adequately addressed. Pretty soon you find your GF or whoever spending less time with you, spending more time with other friends, picking fights for no reason, less sex, etc.

Those are signs that something is wrong. Girls and guys both subconsciously start acting that way because deep down they are confused as to if they really want to be in that relationship, and it is a shady way for the subconscious to deal with the problem. Make the conscious mind think that it is because of the other person that they are unhappy when it is really themselves conflicted. And the other problem is that knowing that something is wrong isn't the same thing as being able to get the other person to talk about the problems. That has to happen or else it will get worse. If the other person refuses to admit there is anything wrong, then it might be a lost cause.

What your GF says to you and how she really feels are probably completely different things. I bet you her best gossip buddy knows all about whatever. I won't get into detail, but I had a situation where my girl was being distant and against my better judgement I snooped and found that she was doing things she shouldn't have been. I am not saying that is happening with your girl, I am just saying that if you feel like something is up and you don't have a history of being overly jealous or suspicious. Then you are probably right.

The thing is, that most people don't go into a relationship knowing that this person is the one. They date around, things are nice, things are fun. The newness of the relationship fills any holes that might show later. Then after 1 to 2 years, you realize...oh shit. If I don't think about this...I am going to wake up 10 years later, I am going to be old..no one will want me...etc. How will I know this is who I was supposed to be with all this time? So they go into this frantic craze, realize that they are in their prime and some of them jump ship.

My suggestion to you is to stop looking at it as a "do i really want to deal with getting another gf or etc" and look at it in the "do I really love her and want to stay with her for the rest of my life"

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single...and without all details I cannot make a truly informed decision. But it looks to me as if you really should sit down with her in a comfortable calm setting and either decide TOGETHER to work on things, or end it. Just don't get heated up or argue over stupid things.

Oh, if you do end it...find a girl that smokes. Or ideally find a girl that shares your level of smoking. And if you grow make sure any new girls that might be in your life don't know about it. Some girls can do a full 180 and go psychobitch on you and get you busted.

I should stay away from this forum while high.
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
She's projecting what she feels about herself onto you.All the negativity...she's lashing out at you because she feels awful, and in some weird way, the ability to hurt you means you still care.Get away for a while.Take two weeks apart,think about how you feel without her.Yeah, you'll miss her, but is it just because you don't like to be lonely, or is it because you really miss her, and the things she does?
valuablevariable said:
Yeah its pretty fucked right now. Shes changed, and it seems like i lost who i had before. Turns out she says she doesnt have fun when we do something but she likes doing other stuff with me, whatever that means. Its fucked up because ive never been the kind of person you dont have fun doing pretty much anything with.
Theres a lot that i cant really explain here but shes got some psychological issues and it seems like shes just taking everything i do for her for granted and now its pretty much my fault we werent having fun. (she was always depressed and i always did everything i could to try and make her feel better). I never thought shed look back at it all and basically only remember that we didnt have fun during those times instead that i was just being there for her.
Shes at a festival with friends from work today, im sitting at home...

Also im getting a lot of that shit where she brings up stuff that happened way back and is turning the whole situation upside down.
Click to expand...
 
valuablevariable

valuablevariable

Well-Known Member
I basically know what all of you are saying but in the end its always a little more complicated than it seems. As far as "is she the one", i dont know if she is THE one but i do think under the right circumstances she could be someone i could see myself with in the future. Shes the kind of person who you can rely on, dont need to worry about her cheating (sure it can happen to anybody but she would say if something had happened) pretty hard childhood and sometimes you need to dump a bucket of water over her for her to snap out of wherever she is in her head (not literally).
Shes definatly going through something in her life and i think all the stress has made her go into defence mode, thinking that she needs to fight for and against everything in her life. This has made her more self dependent and now she no longer needs me like she did before.
Im still convinced though that she has become blind to a lot of things that she used to see and realize.
Now im just waiting to see if this is the new her or just something she was going through.

Im just also really stunned because it all basically happened for no real reason, 2 months ago it was all about how happy she is with me and wishes that we had met earlier and now she seems emotionally dead as if she doesnt remember what it was like before. That and its supposed to be my fault..
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
She's afraid it will fail, and so she's trying to speed it up.Has she had bad relationships in the past?Seems she's testing you.Or, it could be hormonal...using birth control?
valuablevariable said:
I basically know what all of you are saying but in the end its always a little more complicated than it seems. As far as "is she the one", i dont know if she is THE one but i do think under the right circumstances she could be someone i could see myself with in the future. Shes the kind of person who you can rely on, dont need to worry about her cheating (sure it can happen to anybody but she would say if something had happened) pretty hard childhood and sometimes you need to dump a bucket of water over her for her to snap out of wherever she is in her head (not literally).
Shes definatly going through something in her life and i think all the stress has made her go into defence mode, thinking that she needs to fight for and against everything in her life. This has made her more self dependent and now she no longer needs me like she did before.
Im still convinced though that she has become blind to a lot of things that she used to see and realize.
Now im just waiting to see if this is the new her or just something she was going through.

Im just also really stunned because it all basically happened for no real reason, 2 months ago it was all about how happy she is with me and wishes that we had met earlier and now she seems emotionally dead as if she doesnt remember what it was like before. That and its supposed to be my fault..
Click to expand...
 
r3tro99

r3tro99

Active Member
Return of the Spork said:
People always get bored after a while. Some people are just more committed than others, and sometimes the ones who aren't as committed are completely surprised by their lack of willpower.

A relationship isn't so much a being perfect for eachother than it is working to stay with each other. If both of you aren't working to keep the relationship together, then it isn't going to work out. Some relationships take a lot of work, some don't. What it comes down to is if you both feel as if it is worth the effort.

From what I have seen in your thread, it looks like you are possibly younger, which makes this next part very relevant.

I always had this idea in my head that I would find the right girl and everything would just be easy. But incorporating your life with another person is a big freaking deal and once it goes past dates and sex, it gets a lot more complicated. At that point the big questions start getting asked...

"Do I want to stay with him/her forever?"
"Would I be happier dating around?"
"I am not as interested as I was, just...comfortable. Is that what love is supposed to feel like?"
"There isn't as much passion anymore, maybe we aren't right for eachother afterall"

The thing is that people usually don't literally ask themselves those questions, but somewhere in the back of their mind, those concerns are getting bigger and bigger because they aren't adequately addressed. Pretty soon you find your GF or whoever spending less time with you, spending more time with other friends, picking fights for no reason, less sex, etc.

Those are signs that something is wrong. Girls and guys both subconsciously start acting that way because deep down they are confused as to if they really want to be in that relationship, and it is a shady way for the subconscious to deal with the problem. Make the conscious mind think that it is because of the other person that they are unhappy when it is really themselves conflicted. And the other problem is that knowing that something is wrong isn't the same thing as being able to get the other person to talk about the problems. That has to happen or else it will get worse. If the other person refuses to admit there is anything wrong, then it might be a lost cause.

What your GF says to you and how she really feels are probably completely different things. I bet you her best gossip buddy knows all about whatever. I won't get into detail, but I had a situation where my girl was being distant and against my better judgement I snooped and found that she was doing things she shouldn't have been. I am not saying that is happening with your girl, I am just saying that if you feel like something is up and you don't have a history of being overly jealous or suspicious. Then you are probably right.

The thing is, that most people don't go into a relationship knowing that this person is the one. They date around, things are nice, things are fun. The newness of the relationship fills any holes that might show later. Then after 1 to 2 years, you realize...oh shit. If I don't think about this...I am going to wake up 10 years later, I am going to be old..no one will want me...etc. How will I know this is who I was supposed to be with all this time? So they go into this frantic craze, realize that they are in their prime and some of them jump ship.

My suggestion to you is to stop looking at it as a "do i really want to deal with getting another gf or etc" and look at it in the "do I really love her and want to stay with her for the rest of my life"

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single...and without all details I cannot make a truly informed decision. But it looks to me as if you really should sit down with her in a comfortable calm setting and either decide TOGETHER to work on things, or end it. Just don't get heated up or argue over stupid things.

Oh, if you do end it...find a girl that smokes. Or ideally find a girl that shares your level of smoking. And if you grow make sure any new girls that might be in your life don't know about it. Some girls can do a full 180 and go psychobitch on you and get you busted.

I should stay away from this forum while high.
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This is all really good advice and really accurate ! I could so see my old relashionship in that lol.
 
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