Yea, you really need to grow your own to be able to judge the trichomes and ripeness that you prefer. Leafly would be a good starting point. They rate strains by differing effects.. Anything I've ever had from a dispensary has made me anxious. Eating a well decarbed oil or butter seems to be best.. Bubba 76 grew like crap, but I loved the smell, flavor and mellow 70's buzz...
I think that today's weed is just way too strong. Have to find old school strains with lower THC so that you can monitor your intake. I recently saw a strain named Industrial. Sounds like it'd be right up my alley. You could roll a nice fat joint, enjoy the smoke and still function.