Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Beware.

Jeff and Jim are siamese twins joined at the hip.

They walk into a bar in New York and order a couple of beers..

Barman serves them and says "You guys been on vacation yet?"

Jeff says "We're off to England next week. We go every year."

Barman says "England's great, the culture, the history, the Queen."

Jeff says "We don't go for all that shit, its the only chance Jim gets to drive a car."

The 7 Dwarves went to meet the pope. "Go on dopey ask him" Chanted the other six"

"OK" said dopey "Sir are there any Nuns in Alaska." "Yes my child." answers the pope

The other six Dwarves egg dopey on "Sir, are there any black nuns in Alaska." "Yes my child" answers the pope.

Again the other six dwarves insist dopey continue "Sir, are there any black midget nuns in Alaska." "No my child, I don't believe there are." Replies the Pope

The other six dwarves jump up and down and start singing "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin."

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street. Paddy isn't paying much attention to where he's walking, and subsequently he falls down a manhole.

Murphy is shocked, and shouts down 'Paddy? Paddy? Is it dark down there?'

Paddy replies 'I dunno, I can't see!'

English man, Scottish man and Irish man walk into a bar,

English man orders a pint of beer

Scottish man orders a whiskey


Irish man say "Ouch"