Toilet Paper Poll

One fo the things I always say to never skimp on, but after some reflection I want to make sure I'm not missing something. My old logic: One ply sucks because it's so thin and you have to use so much wrapped around your hand you just waste it. Two ply is softer and less gets the job done.

Butt, today, as my finger pushed through the two ply again (I'm an aggressive guy), I wondered if maybe all of that one ply might cover more hand and therefor protect me from having to wash my hands afterwards.

I wish there was a three ply, but maybe it would be more like a paper towel, which I have used, butt found it a little too impersonal, kind of like a stranger wiping me, and I'm not ready for that. I don't even let my wife see me poop.

So, what do you folks prefer?

I use coffee filters ...

I use rolling papers. I've got a wiping problem and I stick em to my brown hole and bam! No stink nuggets.

My friend jay showed me how.

[video=youtube;gmcmUZ9BqAU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmcmUZ9BqAU&feature=youtube_gdata_player[/video]

Edit: forgot I could add videos nowadays

mr sunshine said:

I use coffee filters ...

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I use those for farts, do they wipe well? Are they cost effective?

Cold and wet, baby wipes. They are actually more cost effective when you shit 4 or 5 times a day, everyday

ClaytonBigsby said:

I use those for farts, do they wipe well? Are they cost effective?

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Yes, and if you get them at the dollar store or costco

ClaytonBigsby said:

I use those for farts, do they wipe well? Are they cost effective?

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Yea I just steal them from work..they work fine, at first they really scratched my asshole pretty bad but after a while I liked it I mean got used to it..

i start off with two ply tp, and finish off with baby wipes, learned it from howard stern, that man knows what it takes to have a clean ass, and i admire a man for that..

i once tried to use a wipe from work, and low and behold it was an alcohol wipe.. had to dunk my now burning bum into the shit water in order to cool it off after wards, so just a word of advice, don't use alcohol pads on the old bum, learn from my painful lesson, not a good idea, at all..

Lmao. I can't imagine the humiliation. That's not something you do twice in a lifetime.

dannyboy602 said:

Lmao. I can't imagine the humiliation. That's not something you do twice in a lifetime.

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it was pretty dumb of me now i look back on it dannyboy, but what can i say, live and learn, lol.. there's no sham in my game,

I like the 2 ply personally...

Which brings us to the next question...! Are you a scruncher or a folder? lol...Gonna open a new poll for this one..

like RB, best TP followed by baby wipes

In my entire life I have never resorted to toilet paper for that business. I was cleaned with baby wipes at the toilet training stage and never ever felt comfortable unless my ass is completely clean. I tried it a few times to "be normal" but its so damn uncomfortable knowing your not truly clean. Smearing it off with paper is so 19th C. Usually I wait until i'mhome , get the rough off with your peasant paper, then sit over the bath and let the shower work some magic. Try it , you won't go back!

about a pound

smokejoint said:

In my entire life I have never resorted to toilet paper for that business. I was cleaned with baby wipes at the toilet training stage and never ever felt comfortable unless my ass is completely clean. I tried it a few times to "be normal" but its so damn uncomfortable knowing your not truly clean. Smearing it off with paper is so 19th C. Usually I wait until i'mhome , get the rough off with your peasant paper, then sit over the bath and let the shower work some magic. Try it , you won't go back!

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i think europeans are on to something with all of them using bidets to clean up after a nice healthy number two.. think about it, it's kinda like a mini shower, where the only thing that gets cleaned is what needs the cleaning the most, your stinky, steamy swamp ass. saves tons of water when you'd take a shower when you really only got a bad case of swamp ass as well.. win win in my book..

is anyone her ocd about the direction the tp roll goes on the hanger thingy??

me, i couldn't give a rat's ass what direction it goes on, so long as it comes off when i pull on it, i'm fine either way, from the bottom or from the top..

Oh, fuck! If it's not coming over the top for an easy pull, we got problems. There has been many a night with loud yelling, cursing, and a car loaded with clothes............

In my home, they are not called baby wipes. They are "buttricks" - like buttlick said with a Korean accent (don't ask). It is said that they make you feel like your butthole has been tongued clean by angels.

Pretty damn amazing. Those things first started to get marketed to adults less than ten years ago.

Those wipes are all my wife uses. That cold wet feeling is a bit much for me. I'll wipe 6 times before going to one. If I get to 7 (sometimes the more I wipe the more comes out, like a factory down there), I just get in the shower. I'm sure that's why the shower wand was invented, unless it was made for the ladies.... Either way, you know it was for the bits.

How come Tube Socks aren't an option?