the right thing to do?

So i've got this friend, every time we've hung out we just get together, drink a few beers and play some old school nintendo games. well last night he had gotten a few extra in him and we went upstairs where his brother and his girlfriend/girltoy were watching a movie. out of the blue my buddy starts talkin shit to the girl. at first im waiting for the brother to start sticking up for her, but he doesnt say anything at all. im about to jump in and say ok buddy thats enough. but then i start thinking, well what if this girl had stolen something from him, or maybe they had some problems in the past and she fucked him over or something? what if i dont know the whole truth about the situation and i butt in and get into a fist fight with a friend about something that he has some reason to be that way with? what if i lay him out and his brother jumps on me? i mean, i am in their home. i just cant believe his brothers wasnt sticking up for her. so instead of saying some shit, i just said ok, im outta here. and i left. but when i got home i could hardly fall asleep because i feel like i didnt do the right thing. i keep trying to justify my walking away like, well i didnt want anyone to get physically hurt, maybe he was just too drunk, i could have gotten the shit beat outta me, the girl could have freaked out and called the cops and i could have went to jail...

i try to tell myself, sometimes the best decision to make is to choose to walk away. but i cant help the nagging feeling that i could have done something different, or i could have stuck up for her... but it really wasnt me sticking up for her. it was me sticking up for what is right. and i know that bringing people down and calling people names isnt the right thing to do. should i have said something even though i didnt know what the situation was, and even though there was a 90% chance for a fist fight?

what you guys think, any advice is welcome. like maybe something i could have said to keep from getting in a fight, while also sticking for what is right? im just having a hard time accepting walking away as the right thing to do. help me out if you can dudes, thanks for listening.

no one has any advice? or have found themselves in a similar situation?

Why would expressing a dissenting opinion, like "what you're saying is NOT cool, mensch" give such a high chance of precipitating a fistfight? In the interest of providing appropriate advice - what was this shit that your buddy said, and do you two have a history of scrapping over minor stuff? cn

<edit> our posts crossed ...

Ah... my advice ..it's water under the bridge.. for get about it.
But, if it should happen again. You could say something to calm things down.
If a fight breaks out...Kick their asses!

thank you ring, means a lot bro

Walking away is hard . It's the hardest thing I have ever done . Beating the shit out of assholes is easy . Sometimes the best thing to do is try and forget about it . Your line of reasoning seems very sound . You did not end up in jail or ruin your friendship . I have been there myself and wondered the same thing but I think you did the right thing .

And this my friends, if why we should sway away from beer and indulge in more cannabis.

cn, im sure that as soon as i said something the onslaught being directed at the girl would have turned to me. if someone starts ridiculing me im not one to stand for it. i refuse to play their game of insults. i will only continuosly in a calm manner speak the truth of his failing behavior that im sure would only enrage him further. im going to go over there tonight and talk to him about it. lets see how that goes eh?

I might let that go bro but good luck .

Zaehet ... if someone ridicules me, I am not one to stand for it either. However I have always contented myself with being right, and saying so. I have never had to do more than crush my opponent's reasoning, whether or not he acknowledges or even realizes it. I admit this is personal and subjective, but I have never felt that getting physical is a necessary or good part of being secure in my sense of honor. I'm not judging you, Zaehet ... but I am curious as to what would be so egregiously bad from this guy's mouth that it might justify violence, which is generally outside my moral horizon.

I guess the thing that mystifies me the most is why expressing an opinion to Talkin Shit Guy would lead to your near-certainty that blows would be exchanged.
cn

I think u did the best thing possible,was it truly worth getting into a fight over?Well obviously not,and walking away was the better option.Because there was something trying to tell u not to be indifferent dosent mean that it was wrong to have left the situation onto itself, it is like a questioning of yourself where you really didnt need to because the answer was already there.Nothing got physical and violent thats what matters.When violence starts thats when i would intervene that is if its the girl getting physicaly assaulted,i wouldnt stand for that.

Find new friends

yea, I dont know the whole context of why the verbal fight would have started. But if your scared and walk away without even questioning your friend of why he started before you left, maybe you should find another friend? Friends are supposed to have each other backs, trust your life with kinda thing.

You bring up an interesting question OP. If you see an injustice are you supposed to do something about it? Ive been wondering about this question lately so Ill chime in with some thoughts.

As I see it, you have a few options, do you: do whats best for yourself, do what is best for others(even at your own detriment), or if your lucky, both options will be combinded.

In our culture, some people see selfless service as virtous. For you, is virtue more appealing than self preservation? This is something that I am personally dealing with myself right now.

As I see it, there are one million fights and causes to take up, is it your duty and responsibility to take up every single cause? I would say not, not only is it not humanly possible to fight every fight, but you will wear yourself down and destroy yourself if you try.

Personally, I would choose something in the middle. Its called picking your own battles, what battles are worth fighting over?

EXAMPLE: Martin Luther King, in his time there were great injustices occurring to black people. He gave speeches, organized protests, and did what he could to stop racism and discrimination.

Do I agree with MLK's message, yes. Would I participate in most areas to help his cause, yes. If he organized a sit in and 100% everybody would be arrested, would I participate? Hell no I wouldnt. I need a job, and background checks are a mother fucker. MLK's messages and ideas are great, but fighting his cause is bad for business for me, an arrest could possibly prevent that, and homie dont play that.

EXAMPLE: If I was an afghan and the soviets had invaded my country, would I fight and die for the freedom of my family and myself? I would prefer not to die, but fight I would, if I die, well I guess thats war.

What am I getting at? You need to pick and choose your battles, asses your own values and figure out what is best for you, physically and morally. Do your morals outweigh your physical needs or is it the other way around?

If you do choose to fight, there are many different ways to fight. Guns, knives, hands, and WORDS. Words are powerful and a clever person will master these. You could yell at your friend and tempers would escalate or you could use your words in a different manner and deescalate the situation. One suggestion would be "Hey Matt, I need to talk to you" take him outside to get him away from his girl. "hey Matt, whats going on with you two? Why are you getting all rialed up?" He will either tell you the answer, or tell you to fuck off. If he tells you, that is your opening to deescalate the situation. If he tells you to fuck off "Hey Matt, Im just looking out for you" He will either be moved by your compassion or tell you to fuck off. At that point if he tells you to fuck off again could go back up to the room and say "hey Nancy im gonna go, if you feel uncomfortable you can come with" If she goes, good for you, you accomplished your mission. If she decides to stay, I say fuck her, Its not my job in life to protect stupid bitches from faggot jack asses, let those retards kill each other, they deserve themselves.

Moral of the story, there are many ways to skin a cat, a mission can be completed many different ways. Do what you need to do in order to be right with yourself and/or god.

Btw, people only get a few chances if they are lucky. Getting drunk and acting a fool is a no go. Pick your friends wisely.

A few old sayings: if you lay with dogs, your going to get fleas. bad association spoils useful habbits.

You were in a no win situation and did the right thing just leaving. She could have gotten up and left at any time. You were in 2 brothers house and no matter how mad they get at each other they probably wont fight BUT if you get into it they will both take their aggresion out on you and the girl wont even be thankful.

It was not your place or your responsibility to get involved.

bros before hoes

thank you so much guys, it means more than you know.

I don't have that problem often because my outside world me is all business but the me me would have prob just wrote it off unless someone was way outa line and then I would handle shit. For every action is a reaction and I don't back down but I still will try to talk and reason w ppl. If thT dosent work I will decide if it's worth it or if angered at that point will lash out. I'd rather be a hammer than a nail so if threatened I will jump. It's survival of the fittest in this world I just try to use my better judgement and b real and never allow someone to threaten you. Ps lots of dudes will treat women like shit to beat them down emotionally to bang them. Idk why but chicks dig jerks must be some caveman shit? Alpha male dominance passive woman role it's a classic. All the ones I loved nvr gave a fuck about me the ones I nvr gave a fuck about call me all the time. Hitler had Eva Braun manson had squeaky from Ted bunch got lots a dates I wonder what I'm doin wrong I don't pretend to understand womens little quirks just one thing I know for sure chicks dig jerks yeah. Bill hicks ops don't carry the world upon your shoulders, just let it be. Fuck it's two beetles tunes in one sentence. Peace