A surgeon is taking a class of trainees to see a cadaver for the first time. He tells them that it's really important that they familiarise themselves with the corpse, so he says "Do exactly as I do"
He then sticks his finger into the dead guys anus, pulls it out and sucks on it. Then he lines up the students and says "Now your turn."
Obediently, one by one, grimacing as they do, they all in turn, put their fingers in the guys ass and then suck on them.
Once they all complete the task, the surgeon says "It's also important that you learn to be observant. I put my ring finger in his ass and my index finger in my mouth"
My wife being unhappy with my mood swings brought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead
Lady in labor, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!" He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
My last girlfriend called me a pedophile. Pretty big word for a 12-year-old.
So I'm in bed with this chick and we've been laying there for some time, so I go: "Hey, are we gonna fuck or what?" "You're being a bit presumptuous." She says. "Presumptuous? That's a big word for an 8 year old!"
I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.
Abortion - it brings out the kid in you...
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
What do you call a black guy flying an aeroplane?
The pilot, you racist fuck.
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
It's not rape, it's surprise sex.
I ran into Hitler. I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to? He said "This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!"
"Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?"
"See? Nobody cares about zee Jews."
Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?
What happens when a Jew with an erection runs into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
Why do Jews have double-glazing windows? So their kids can't hear the ice cream van coming.
How do you know when you're in a Jewish household? There's a fork in the sugar bowl.
I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people
What's white on top and black on bottom? Society
What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.
What's black, blue, red and says no? the 12 year old in my trunk.
He then sticks his finger into the dead guys anus, pulls it out and sucks on it. Then he lines up the students and says "Now your turn."
Obediently, one by one, grimacing as they do, they all in turn, put their fingers in the guys ass and then suck on them.
Once they all complete the task, the surgeon says "It's also important that you learn to be observant. I put my ring finger in his ass and my index finger in my mouth"
My wife being unhappy with my mood swings brought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead
Lady in labor, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!" He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
My last girlfriend called me a pedophile. Pretty big word for a 12-year-old.
So I'm in bed with this chick and we've been laying there for some time, so I go: "Hey, are we gonna fuck or what?" "You're being a bit presumptuous." She says. "Presumptuous? That's a big word for an 8 year old!"
I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.
Abortion - it brings out the kid in you...
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
What do you call a black guy flying an aeroplane?
The pilot, you racist fuck.
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
It's not rape, it's surprise sex.
I ran into Hitler. I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to? He said "This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!"
"Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?"
"See? Nobody cares about zee Jews."
Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?
What happens when a Jew with an erection runs into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
Why do Jews have double-glazing windows? So their kids can't hear the ice cream van coming.
How do you know when you're in a Jewish household? There's a fork in the sugar bowl.
I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people
What's white on top and black on bottom? Society
What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.
What's black, blue, red and says no? the 12 year old in my trunk.
