Terminal Leukemia patient with some questions

Hello,

I am 44 years old and have Myeloid Leukemia I did treatment for 4 years and stopped a year ago after making the decision that I no longer wanted to live with the side effects and daily pain, insomnia, IBS Gulf war illness etc.

The doctors have me on 252 15mg of morphine a month and 224 5 mg oxycodone a month and 180 mg of clonazepam a month along with some misc other meds.
This combo barely makes things liveable for me there is little more the doctors at the VA seem able or willing to do and I would really like to have a couple months of feeling better.

I tried MMJ once and it made me feel very panicked and high anxiety so maybe I didn't have the right strain I Don't know and I have no idea what it was it was from a family friends friend.

Now I tried to move to Oregon once for MMJ but got so sick I had a nervous breakdown before I could get into the MMJ program I had to be brought back by family friends.

Now I am really having trouble I don't know how much time I have left but I just want to feel better for awhile if possible.
So I was thinking of Colorado because I could get rec marijuana right away until I could get on the MMJ program.

Now I am also treated at the VA as I have little money only SSDI and some VA disability so I am worried they may try to pull my pain meds if marijuana is involved does anyone have experience with the VA up there?

Anyways I am thinking of trying to come up to Colorado springs maybe it seems affordable 700$ is most likely the most I can pay for rent and maybe trying to find a 30 day apartment so I can see if there may be a strain that can help me but not get stuck in a lease if I have a breakdown again.

Anyways lots of info sorry just want you to know what I am trying to do and the reasons.

If anyone has some input, suggestions, experience like mine please let me know I am just trying to find out if this is good decision or if my mind is just to far gone and I am having a pipe dream.

thank you for any help any other questions let me know.

The VA has no problem with the use of MMJ and even lists it as one of my medications in my chart as I have been very open about my use. Good luck to you.

CaretakerDad said:

The VA has no problem with the use of MMJ and even lists it as one of my medications in my chart as I have been very open about my use. Good luck to you.

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Thank you I was worried about that as my pain is unbearable without the meds.
what clinic do you use?

lostkeys said:

Thank you I was worried about that as my pain is unbearable without the meds.
what clinic do you use?

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I am in Eastern Oregon and use a Community Based Outreach Clinic about 20 miles from my home.

Have you tried Rick Simpson Oil at all?

chewberto said:

Have you tried Rick Simpson Oil at all?

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No they had some there but it was really expensive and I am not sure if it will do what I want it to.

My goal is to try and control the pain better I am on lots of pain meds heavy duty stuff, try to relax feel relaxed and happy, control anxiety, maybe help with sleep I stay up for days and sleep at weird times, try to gain weight I am 6ft and 150 lb normal weight is 200lbs.

Again I don't know if this will work but I want to try I got maybe a year or so left and I really want to be happy and feel better but the constant pain and health issues make me just tired of living.
The reason I stopped chemo was so I could have a finish line so to speak I don't want years more of this its been 4 years on cancer and an easy 20 years of just watching my health fade away from gulf war illness issues. Its time to go and I am ready I just want some peace and joy in this last year.
I am really hoping someone can just help me get some form on indica strain to try maybe just to get me by until the dispensarys open which is supposedly within a year.
Just looking for help not freebies and I just cant grow my own as I live in my Ex-wifes house and I don't think I can move anymore to sick.

Sorry long answer.
I did buy some CBD oil they had that was cheaper didn't seem to do much but I will keep trying it.

And I Did get my Dr referral done today so should be getting my card soon but was looking for a caregiver to grow maybe someone who is already growing and wants to be legit or needs more plants not really sure how that part works.

hate to sound like I am begging but I am begging for help not free help just where to go some people who may help and want to talk maybe.
I also signed up for a class hoping to make some sort of connections at the place I got my referral just not sure what the hell I should say to someone lol.

Sorry I am long winded when I get started

Icewater hash!

No, Not CBD oil, you need a balance of THC and CBD Rick Simpson oil specifically, I hate to see you give up on curing yourself. Many "Terminal" patients have been cured from issues, I hate to fantasize about the possibility of it being a cure specifically for your condition, but we do know that people that were sent home to die, have been cured from RSO, as well as Organic juicing and coffee enemas.

But If you're done, you're done. It's your life. If it is comfort you seek, explore hash!

chewberto said:

No, Not CBD oil, you need a balance of THC and CBD Rick Simpson oil specifically, I hate to see you give up on curing yourself. Many "Terminal" patients have been cured from issues, I hate to fantasize about the possibility of it being a cure specifically for your condition, but we do know that people that were sent home to die, have been cured from RSO, as well as Organic juicing and coffee enemas.

But If you're done, you're done. It's your life. If it is comfort you seek, explore hash!

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The problem I have is just getting anything I have no idea where, who, how to get this stuff I know no persons who smoke it.
I do want to try things its just how the hell do I get it if I cant grow it?
The stuff there were selling at the one shop was just CBD because they cannot sell anything with THC as the dispensaries are not open yet.
And your probably right I am not looking for a cure so much as looking for relief its been a long time being sick and I am really worn down.

feel free to through ideas out I have read about most of this stuff but have no real world experience with it.